soulm8 Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 This is my personal wishlist. Do the following traits exist in one man? You're 6'1" or taller You're between 38 and 44 You take care of yourself so you feel attractive You value honesty and practice it You can express yourself and you're a one-woman man You reserve "I love you" for when you truly mean it You balance compliments and sweetness with mystery, cockiness, flirting and teasing You understand and appreciate that a woman needs to feel special to you to feel secure in a relationship with you You're looking for your partner in crime You do not see children as baggage You like who you are You'd rather masturbate than have casual sex You know how to please a woman in bed
greatgirlfriend Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 Unless you are tall, you are being picky about the height, especially since you are looking for a guy who doesn't consider children baggage.
Author soulm8 Posted February 13, 2010 Author Posted February 13, 2010 Unless you are tall, you are being picky about the height, especially since you are looking for a guy who doesn't consider children baggage. Yes, I'm 6ft... so height is an issue for me. As for children being baggage... my target age group is spot on. Yes, I'm picky! ... but am I out to lunch?!
bac Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 This is my personal wishlist. Do the following traits exist in one man? 50/50 is realistic. You value honesty and practice it. You do not see children as baggage. You like who you are. Unrealistic. Low probability. You understand and appreciate that a woman needs to feel special to you to feel secure in a relationship with you You'd rather masturbate than have casual sex You know how to please a woman in bed Other expectations sound realistic IMHO.
greatgirlfriend Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 In your case I get it. I'm just so tired of these 5 feet tall women asking for 6 feet tall men. The guy I like now is only 5'9, but I am 5'7 and don't mind. Otherwise, most don't sound picky. The sex one I especially understand because I've been abused by guys who wanted sex too early. Now the guy I am seeing is telling me I am aggressive when it comes to sex (he wants to wait several months and take our time).
Left in a Lurch Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 That's me to a T. Now if you: -Work and make $65,000+ -Weigh less than 140 -Are at least 5'8 -Are yourself attractive -Like Baseball and enjoy other sports -Are not overbearing we can start planning the future.
Author soulm8 Posted February 13, 2010 Author Posted February 13, 2010 Unrealistic. Low probability. - You understand and appreciate that a woman needs to feel special to you to feel secure in a relationship with you - You'd rather masturbate than have casual sex - You know how to please a woman in bed That's a sad thought The sex one I especially understand because I've been abused by guys who wanted sex too early. Now the guy I am seeing is telling me I am aggressive when it comes to sex (he wants to wait several months and take our time). Oi! That'd be tough. We want to feel irresistible to our guy! Right? darn it I fit all those but one Awww! So, I'm not out to lunch as far as you're concerned... awesome! There's hope yet That's me to a T. Now if you: -Work -and make $65,000+ -Weigh less than 140 -Are at least 5'8 -Are yourself attractive -Like Baseball and enjoy other sports -Are not overbearing we can start planning the future. Nope... I have all those but two Are there any I should ditch? Do any of them make you cringe??
greatgirlfriend Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 Oi! That'd be tough. We want to feel irresistible to our guy! Right Yes, but take it from someone who's ruined relationships from having sex too early, it's better to wait. I wish I had in most of the cases.
Author soulm8 Posted February 13, 2010 Author Posted February 13, 2010 Yes, but take it from someone who's ruined relationships from having sex too early, it's better to wait. I wish I had in most of the cases. Oh absolutely... but I'm not sure how I'd feel about being called aggressive sexually by my bf. Unless it was in a teasing way.
someotherguy Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 Yes, guys like that do exist, however, given you have at least one of the following issues: Overweight Unattractive Overbearing Dislike activities most men enjoy Unsuccessful or don't work at all ... Means it is highly unlikely you will find a man possessing all those qualities you desire that also desires you. I am not trying to be a negative nelly here, but your list is a bit unrealistic given your admission that you yourself are not, shall we say, "Grade A". I'm just being honest with my opinion here, but for a man with all those qualities to be interested in you for a serious long term relationship, he would most likely have to have some serious problem that keeps him from being able to attract more desirable women. For example, he may be butt ugly (yet self confident), or maybe he has a very low paying job and no prospects to earn more, etc. Are those things you're willing to overlook as long as he meets your laundry list? Everyone is allowed to have their own expectations and standards, but I think you're being a bit myopic and too willing to throw away a lot of good men trying to find some mystical ideal.
phineas Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 Yes, but take it from someone who's ruined relationships from having sex too early, it's better to wait. I wish I had in most of the cases. I prefer a test run in the bedroom before I get too attached to a woman. Nothing & I mean nothing ruins a relationship faster than waiting a few months to find out your GF just lays there & is against anything but missionary position.
cognac Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 There are definitely plenty of guys like you describe, only good luck getting them to be content with only one woman
greatgirlfriend Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 I prefer a test run in the bedroom before I get too attached to a woman. Nothing & I mean nothing ruins a relationship faster than waiting a few months to find out your GF just lays there & is against anything but missionary position. I used to be like that, until too many guys only wanted the sex. Waiting is better because the sex might suck, it's more satisfying because there is attachment.
thegreatmoose Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 This is my personal wishlist. Do the following traits exist in one man? You're 6'1" or taller You're between 38 and 44 You take care of yourself so you feel attractive You value honesty and practice it You can express yourself and you're a one-woman man You reserve "I love you" for when you truly mean it You balance compliments and sweetness with mystery, cockiness, flirting and teasing You understand and appreciate that a woman needs to feel special to you to feel secure in a relationship with you You're looking for your partner in crime You do not see children as baggage You like who you are You'd rather masturbate than have casual sex You know how to please a woman in bed A lot of guys will claim they meet those requirements but very very few meet all of them. I meet about half of them and am very close on a couple of others.
neowulf Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 This is my personal wishlist. Do the following traits exist in one man? You're 6'1" or taller You're between 38 and 44 You take care of yourself so you feel attractive You value honesty and practice it You can express yourself and you're a one-woman man You reserve "I love you" for when you truly mean it You balance compliments and sweetness with mystery, cockiness, flirting and teasing You understand and appreciate that a woman needs to feel special to you to feel secure in a relationship with you You're looking for your partner in crime You do not see children as baggage You like who you are You'd rather masturbate than have casual sex You know how to please a woman in bed Ahh... so close. Too young and not tall enough
neowulf Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 On a more serious note, laundry lists of qualites are nice.. so long as they serve more as a guideline and not a "rule set" for dating. Everyone is flawed in some way. Every strength can be a weakness in the wrong situation. Someone may be passionate and driven, but suffer crippling bouts of depression. Someone might be fiercely loyal... yet stuborn and inflexible in their views. Someone might have a highly successfully job, earning a great salary.. while being a complete workaholic. There are always trade offs. My own list looks something like this.. Do we love each other? Are we attracted to one another? Can we laugh together? Do we respect and trust one another? Is she my best friend? Can we support each other on the things that matter? That said... It doesn't make the search any easier
thegreatmoose Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 Every strength can be a weakness in the wrong situation. That's really twisting the truth. Some characteristics are good and some are bad in virtually any situation.
neowulf Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 That's really twisting the truth. Some characteristics are good and some are bad in virtually any situation. Not really, but I'm open to hearing some examples. I would note that you said "virtually any" and not "all".
calazhage Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 (edited) And of course, out of all the women in the world he must also choose you..Is this how American women really think? Edited February 13, 2010 by calazhage
frenchgirl Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 With all due respect, I think most of these lists are silly. You could meet a guy who fits all of your list requirements but he'd be really ugly. Or maybe he'd smell like hell. Or perhaps he'd be so insecure it would drive you nuts. On the other hand, you could meet a guy who unexpectedly will push all the right buttons despite not having the appropriate "specs". Are you going to reject him because of that? This whole mentality about not being "used" for sex is also super silly. Being "used" for sex means you didn't enjoy it or expected something else in return. Both bad reactions in my opinion.
calazhage Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 With all due respect, I think most of these lists are silly. You could meet a guy who fits all of your list requirements but he'd be really ugly. Or maybe he'd smell like hell. Or perhaps he'd be so insecure it would drive you nuts. On the other hand, you could meet a guy who unexpectedly will push all the right buttons despite not having the appropriate "specs". Are you going to reject him because of that? This whole mentality about not being "used" for sex is also super silly. Being "used" for sex means you didn't enjoy it or expected something else in return. Both bad reactions in my opinion. Exactly.. So if one of these females who makes lists meets a guy that fits these requirements, they automatically love them? Or is love of little importance?
Left in a Lurch Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 Nope... I have all those but two Are there any I should ditch? Do any of them make you cringe?? None make me cringe. I just think when you have a strict list, it makes it really difficult to find someone and really easy to reject someone. Someone might be just about perfect but they become too easy to dismiss, especially initially. I don't think it is out of line but it wouldn't hurt if you were a bit flexible on some.
frenchgirl Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 Why? Most of your examples are nonsense. You put a postive quality and an unrelated negative quality together. Actually I would agree with the examples provided by neowulf. There's always two sides to a quality -- the good and the bad. I'm on the fence about the "loyal and stubborn" one but the others are classics.
phineas Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 I used to be like that, until too many guys only wanted the sex. Waiting is better because the sex might suck, it's more satisfying because there is attachment. How long are you talking here? I don't consider myself in a relationship until there is sex. I don't consider myself exclusive with someone until there is sex. With so many options out there I could never become attached to a woman unless there was sex.
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