ladydesigner Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 This is an interesting question. No I never once lied to my AP. We had both agreed early on that we would both be truthful to each other since we were not being truthful to our SO's. Wow was I wrong:mad: Neither one of us ever said anything about him leaving or myself leaving, but he was not truthful about his real feelings for his girlfriend, whereas I was really unhappy in my marriage at the time, he apparently had feelings for her and the hots for me. I believe now in the aftermath he was just trying to see if he could go as far as he did with me... and he did:sick: This is how I feel about him today:mad::mad::sick:
Fallen Angel Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 This is an interesting question. No I never once lied to my AP. We had both agreed early on that we would both be truthful to each other since we were not being truthful to our SO's. Wow was I wrong:mad: Neither one of us ever said anything about him leaving or myself leaving, but he was not truthful about his real feelings for his girlfriend, whereas I was really unhappy in my marriage at the time, he apparently had feelings for her and the hots for me. I believe now in the aftermath he was just trying to see if he could go as far as he did with me... and he did:sick: This is how I feel about him today:mad::mad::sick: I would be glad to hold him down while you kick him, Lady D. I really do not understand why affair partners would lie to each other. I do not lie to My Sweetheart, because it is not in my nature to lie, because i do not do anything behind his back that I would be ashamed of doing in front of his face, and because I live as honest and fair a life as I know how, and so I am not ashamed of the things I do. *shrug* I would hope (and I believe) that he respects me enough to do the same for me. He has told me that he will not leave his marriage, at least right now. That hurt, but it was honest. He knows that I have trust issues left over from my marriage, and he has gone above and beyond to assuage my fears such as giving me access to his online accounts, access to him by phone day and/or night, and when he is out of town for work, he is on the phone with me into the wee hours of the morning. He says he never wants me to question his honesty with me, and I don't, but his making those efforts to be transparent with me are very sweet. But the point is, I know he is married, and I have accepted the status quo for right now, so what reason is there for him to lie to me? If he wanted to be with someone else, then he would be. I have no binding legal contract with him. He is with me because he wants to be, not because he has to be. I would suppose when he no longer wants to be, he no longer will. No reason to lie about anything, at least not to me.
ladydesigner Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 I would be glad to hold him down while you kick him, Lady D. Thanks FA I would love to give him a good kick in the a**. I do hope he never treats another woman this way. After our A ended he on many occasions said he was sorry for everything he put me through. I would have rather he had been honest with me from the get go or I wouldn't feel so taken advantage of. The A started as a friendship turned NSA sex and I was fine with that. He kept getting more serious and more emotional and then I got caught up and "fell for him." Oh well a good learning experience for me. Normally I can see through this s**t it's not like I am in my 20's, I am nearing my 40's. Aarrghhh it's all very frustrating.
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