meerkat stew Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 So I am a very logical person. I take a very logical approach to most things in life. I have these questions, that I just cannot come up with an answer for.. 1) Why would she say yes, when I asked her out? 2) And why would she give me her phone number, if she was NOT interested in me at all? I just cant seem to understand this, it does not seem logical to me! I have moved on, but since I get to see her everyday, these thoughts/questions come up. She was interested. No telling what changed, but something did. This is the reason for the much repeated "never give a woman your phone number, always get hers." Unless their level of attraction is through the roof, they just aren't going to pick up the phone and call a guy, even if they are interested, at least very very few IME are going to. No idea why this is. One guess, having your number creates all kinds of repetitive "thought" or more accurately emotional patterns in her mind, some negative, some positive. Who knows what the result of this process is going to be, something like a magic 8 ball or a dice roll it seems. But the result is almost certainly not going to be the simple, logical step of picking up the phone and dialing your number, even if she is some interested in going out with you. Best to short circuit that process. Get her number, call and ask her out for specific plans. Don't ask if she is available or not beforehand, just ask out for the date. Then, in her answer, you will know immediately if she is a) interested of b) even worth your time. If she says yes, you have a date. If she says no, and gives a specific alternative "I'm free Wed night though," then if you are free, you have a date. If she says no, or starts in with some baggagey explanation, you can then move on. If she says simply no, and that she is unavailable that night, up to you whether to ask out again or not. Reducing the process to the simplest steps possible and maintaining complete control of those steps is the only way to go. The other way, expecting them to show any proactive consistency, will drive you insane and have you posting on relationship forums
Author DaGmen Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 She was interested. No telling what changed, but something did. This is the reason for the much repeated "never give a woman your phone number, always get hers." Unless their level of attraction is through the roof, they just aren't going to pick up the phone and call a guy, even if they are interested, at least very very few IME are going to. No idea why this is. One guess, having your number creates all kinds of repetitive "thought" or more accurately emotional patterns in her mind, some negative, some positive. Who knows what the result of this process is going to be, something like a magic 8 ball or a dice roll it seems. But the result is almost certainly not going to be the simple, logical step of picking up the phone and dialing your number, even if she is some interested in going out with you. Best to short circuit that process. Get her number, call and ask her out for specific plans. Don't ask if she is available or not beforehand, just ask out for the date. Then, in her answer, you will know immediately if she is a) interested of b) even worth your time. If she says yes, you have a date. If she says no, and gives a specific alternative "I'm free Wed night though," then if you are free, you have a date. If she says no, or starts in with some baggagey explanation, you can then move on. If she says simply no, and that she is unavailable that night, up to you whether to ask out again or not. Reducing the process to the simplest steps possible and maintaining complete control of those steps is the only way to go. The other way, expecting them to show any proactive consistency, will drive you insane and have you posting on relationship forums Appreciate the feedback! And liked your last line! LOL!! I am just not going to say anything about going out to her. We spoke today made some good small talk about her house. She is acting the same way she always did, her attitude towards me does not seem to have changed. Like I said before I am not "crazy" about this girl, so its all up to her now.
txsilkysmoothe Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 So I am a very logical person. I take a very logical approach to most things in life. I have these questions, that I just cannot come up with an answer for.. 1) Why would she say yes, when I asked her out? 2) And why would she give me her phone number, if she was NOT interested in me at all? I just cant seem to understand this, it does not seem logical to me! I have moved on, but since I get to see her everyday, these thoughts/questions come up. Even the best of us women lack logic at times! She's immature and/or inexperienced. She took the path of least resistence hoping you wouldn't actually call. After all, men ask for numbers and don't always call. Just wait, be patient. If she really is interested, SHE will make it happen.
Twenty-ten Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 DaGmen I am a woman and I am going to tell it to you straight, sorry but the truth is going to suck. Txsilkysmoothe has it BANG ON! I know. I have been there and used the exact same tactics in a very distant past. Despicable as it is, I was never cut out for rejecting guys, well until I realized how much more hurtfut it is to lead them on and then come up with lame excuses. All her excuses, preemptive "plans" that would never come to fruition and consistent cancellations are her piss poor way of telling you she is not interested. You work with her, you are from head office, there is no nice way of telling you she is not interested and not feel like it would a) hinder her work b) make her a bad guy in your eyes and possibly others at work The reality is that she was never interested, she took your number as many of us do just to get rid of the request not thinking a guy will persist after this. You see the female psychology, or ate least my female psychology at one time dictated that if I show signs of disinterest he will definitely get the hint and go away because who in their right mind wants to be rejected? Well I was wrong because I was thinking like a woman. Since we don't do the pursuing in a typical situation, it feels natural for us to think that one rejection will be sign enough that there is no interest. This is because we don't usually deal with rejection. Men on the other hand do, and they have to deal with women who play hard to get and all those games so a sign of non interest sometimes is misinterpreted for other things. Don't confuse hard to get with disinterest, this is disinterest. In future get her number don't leave the ball in her court. Ask her out once and if she cancels or allows plans to fall through confront her about it and see if she wants to do it again, but never EVER put up with this kind of behavior more than once. Two cancellations is two too many.
stanlovesJ Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 ask her if you can help her renovate the house? im sure she wouldnt mind a helping hand
stanlovesJ Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 can you please reply to my thread? you seem like you are experienced with relationships. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t221769/
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