Where do I Stand, your thoughts

[DaGmen]

I asked out this girl at the retail store I work at. We have spoken briefly at work a handful of times, exchanged some basic information about each other. I work for the corporate office of the retailer; she works on the sales floor so our paths do not cross in a professional/work related setting.

 

Anyway, I asked her out and she said yes. I gave her my number on a post it. I did not ask for her number, thinking that she would give it to me if she wanted to. She works another retail job, in the evenings and thus is working almost seven days a week. After I asked her out, she stated that the coming Saturday would work for her. She told me I have a party to go to in the afternoon, when I'm done I will call you. Come Saturday night, I waited at home for her phone call until 7pm, it never came. I waited till 7p coz my friend were all going out to dinner and they invited me to come along.

Then on following Monday we talked at work and she apologized for not calling, she said I lost the post-it you gave me and I think I may have left it here at work. She also said I should have given you my number. She then said make sure you get my number today before you leave today.

I got her later that day and again we agreed we would try to do something on Saturday. She said I will call you or text you on Saturday afternoon. She is renovating this old house that she bought, so she spends most of her free time working on the home. So again Saturday evening rolls around and I get to no call, so I call her up. She tells me that she is at home depot buying stuff for her house and that she has been working on the house all day. She says I'm just too tired and I still have so much work to do at home, so I will have to pass on going out tonight.

I had absolutely no issues with this, I told her no problem you let me know when is a good time for you.

So Monday rolls around and we chat again, just shooting the breeze, chit chat. She tells me her schedule for the week and lets me know that Thursday is her day off. I don’t say anything about meeting up, she does not either.

Later in the week, on Wed I sent her text message. I asked her if she is working this coming Sunday (Valentines). She replies yes, from 10 to 6.

I then texted her back and said would you like to go out to dinner after work on Sunday, for Valentine’s Day, my treat of course. She replies with, I have to be honest not sure. I'm sure a lot of places will be super busy. Thx for the invite. I replied with, NP, maybe another day and time.

She replies yeah. Just thinking to play it by ear.

 

So there you have it. That is what has transpired between us. Right now I am laying low and not speaking or saying much to her, and actually we have not seen each other much since the text chat, her schedule has been a little different this week.

 

My question to everyone is, did I do anything wrong here? Where do you think I stand with this girl? What should be my next move?

 

Thanks to all that reply!

[The Paper Knight]

First don't sh*t where you eat, as it will affect your work life.

Second always get their number first.

Third a watched pot never boils - NEVER wait for a girl to call you.

Fourth NEVER wait for a girl to call you.

 

Sorry buddy, but she is just not that into you.

 

 

Move on.

[Sith Apprentice]

Forget her dude. She's nothing, but excuses.

[sexysteve]

are u guys serius???? i totaly judged it differently.

 

firstly. you said that you's dont see each other that often right cuz different departments which means you aren't close yet.

 

secondly, maybe those 2 excuses are for real and maybe the valentines thing was cuz she didnt think you guys were close enough and moving straight up to a date on valentines is pretty huge.

 

thirdly, it doesnt matter who gets the number first. if she got your number than hay, she must be interested, right.

 

fourthly, i think that she doesn't know enough of you - talk to her more often, joke around with her, get to know each other first, get closer, she'll eventually see what ur interntions are. communication is a huge factor.

[USMCHokie]

First don't sh*t where you eat, as it will affect your work life.

Second always get their number first.

Third a watched pot never boils - NEVER wait for a girl to call you.

Fourth NEVER wait for a girl to call you.

 

Sorry buddy, but she is just not that into you.

 

 

Move on.

 

 

+1,000,000...

 

And adding to that: never ask a girl out via text message...

 

 

 

are u guys serius???? i totaly judged it differently.

 

-2... Please don't take this personally that I'm picking on you tonight...

 

 

firstly. you said that you's dont see each other that often right cuz different departments which means you aren't close yet.

 

Refer to above...don't sh*t where you eat...

 

 

secondly, maybe those 2 excuses are for real and maybe the valentines thing was cuz she didnt think you guys were close enough and moving straight up to a date on valentines is pretty huge.

 

Perhaps...but if they were legit and she was truly interested, she would have made sure it happened...she didn't...she just gave more excuses...she's just not into him...

 

 

thirdly, it doesnt matter who gets the number first. if she got your number than hay, she must be interested, right.

 

If you're a guy, you ask her for her number. Is there even any other way...?

 

 

fourthly, i think that she doesn't know enough of you - talk to her more often, joke around with her, get to know each other first, get closer, she'll eventually see what ur interntions are. communication is a huge factor.

 

It kind of seems like she doesn't want to know any more about OP...at least nothing beyond the work environment...

[sexysteve]

first point, whats with ****ting where you eat - the dude doesnt work in the same dept'

 

the second point was yes she wouldve made it happened but they were only two times and u cant rly blame her for saying no to a date on valentines as a first date.

 

the third point i have to agree, you shouldve gotten her number. i thought she asked for ur number and u wrote it in the post-it note, that wouldve been ok..

 

fourth, i dont know what the dude thinks about ****ting where you eat but as he said its a diff dept and he said it doesnt cross the professional/work setting but the point i was making is if you were close to her and communicated frequently, you'd be able to find out where you stand in her life?

Edited February 14, 2010 by sexysteve

[skydiveaddict]

first point, whats with ****ting where you eat - the dude doesnt work in the same dept'

 

the second point was yes she wouldve made it happened but they were only two times and u cant rly blame her for saying no to a date on valentines as a first date.

 

the third point i have to agree, you shouldve gotten her number. i thought she asked for ur number and u wrote it in the post-it note, that wouldve been ok..

 

fourth, i dont know what the dude thinks about ****ting where you eat but as he said its a diff dept and he said it doesnt cross the professional/work setting but the point i was making is if you were close to her and communicated frequently, you'd be able to find out where you stand in her life?

 

 

Hey "Sexy"steve, why dont you go do something w/ your life. your posts make ZERO sense and put a shirt on for pete's sake. Have a Little more tact and class for yourself

Edited February 14, 2010 by skydiveaddict

[sexysteve]

im sorry you feel that way mate, just saying whats on my mind cuz ive been in a similar situation and what does doing something with your life have anything to do with anything we've said in this thread?

[skydiveaddict]

im sorry you feel that way mate, just saying whats on my mind cuz ive been in a similar situation and what does doing something with your life have anything to do with anything we've said in this thread?

 

 

 

Cause your post makes no sense, I think you need to have more going on in your life

[sexysteve]

well as i said im sorry you feel that way... im just trying to help the guy above DaGMen based on past experience

[USMCHokie]

first point, whats with ****ting where you eat - the dude doesnt work in the same dept'

 

 

Have you ever watched the show Grey's Anatomy? Lesson to be learned: don't sh*t where you eat...

[Left in a Lurch]

I'd move on. I have definitely had this same type situation happen a few times and it's a total waste of time and energy and each time was the same basic pattern.

 

There was always an excuse for not calling. I can be very forgetful, but if I was working on my house and had a date scheduled, there could be a house fire and the thing could burn down but I would still remember to at least call the person to cancel way ahead of time. Basically she is willing to go out with you as something to do when she is bored, but is not entirely excited about it.

 

Think of it like this- if one of her friends called her and asked her to go to the bar the day she was working on her house her response would have been, "I am just leaving home depot. I will go home and get ready right away." Her response to you was, no.

 

You asked her out to dinner on Sunday and her reason for saying no was because places would be busy? What does that have to do anything, you could make reservations easily at a lot of good places? That was just a bad excuse.

 

The whole "let's play it by ear" thing is bs too. Basically she is saying, "Let's not PLAN anything." If you plan something ahead of time it is harder for her to come up with a legitimate excuse because she would have to tell you a day she was entirely free, so that gets rid of a lot of potential excuses for her. If you "play it by ear" she won't ever have to admit to actually being free, she can just make up easier excuses why she is busy.

 

Personally if she does agree to going out one night, I would expect her to stand you up with a no call-no show and when you call her act like something came up and she left her phone at home or lost it at her friends house.....

 

Just coming from my experience you have to weigh the times you think she has shown she is interested against the times she has indicated everything in her life is more important than you. When you look at it objectively I think you'll find her interest level is low but she thinks you are a nice or friendly so she doesn't want to reject you cold.

[txsilkysmoothe]

Sorry, she is not interested. Sometimes my fellow women really embarrass me. Some women do not know how to be direct and just say "no, I'm not interested. Thank you." Instead they let you think they are open to the idea, but then it's excuse after excuse.

 

Remember, a woman always finds time to see a man if she is interested. Period. If something really does come up that prevents her from being able to see you, she will call you, not blow you off. Her telling you, "make sure you get my number before you leave today" is BS. Instead of saying that, why isn't she telling you her number at that very moment.

 

This woman lacks maturity and manners. Hold women accountable. When they start jerking you around, confront them and say, "if you aren't interested just say no!"

[DaGmen]

Sorry, she is not interested. Sometimes my fellow women really embarrass me. Some women do not know how to be direct and just say "no, I'm not interested. Thank you." Instead they let you think they are open to the idea, but then it's excuse after excuse.

 

Remember, a woman always finds time to see a man if she is interested. Period. If something really does come up that prevents her from being able to see you, she will call you, not blow you off. Her telling you, "make sure you get my number before you leave today" is BS. Instead of saying that, why isn't she telling you her number at that very moment.

 

This woman lacks maturity and manners. Hold women accountable. When they start jerking you around, confront them and say, "if you aren't interested just say no!"

 

First, Thanks to all the guys for the replies! I appreciate it!

 

txsilkysmoothe:

Thank you for giving me a female perspective! I loved all of your points and just like you I love to be direct about things as well.

So I am going to just not say anything to her for the next couple of weeks. I am going to keep it to just small talk. If in the next couple of weeks she does not say anything about meeting up, I am just going to point blank ask her: If you are not into me, please just let me know.

[USMCHokie]

First, Thanks to all the guys for the replies! I appreciate it!

 

txsilkysmoothe:

Thank you for giving me a female perspective! I loved all of your points and just like you I love to be direct about things as well.

So I am going to just not say anything to her for the next couple of weeks. I am going to keep it to just small talk. If in the next couple of weeks she does not say anything about meeting up, I am just going to point blank ask her: If you are not into me, please just let me know.

 

 

This is not required. If she does not say anything about meeting up, then she is not into you. You don't need to say anything. Please don't say anything...it will make you look like a twerp...

[DaGmen]

This is not required. If she does not say anything about meeting up, then she is not into you. You don't need to say anything. Please don't say anything...it will make you look like a twerp...

 

 

I would love to hear from some more women on this subject. What do the women think? What should I do or What should I not do?

[VENUS1]

IMO - move on. If she was into you, she would have made some attempt by now. Don't ask her if she is or isn't into you - it will be an awkward conversation for both of you (and she will be laughing about it to her friends). Go back to treating her like you did before the phone number exchange and act like nothing happened there.

 

If I was into a guy - they'd get my number or I'd make EVERY attempt to get his information (phone number, where they hang out, etc . . )

 

Good luck!

[USMCHokie]

I would love to hear from some more women on this subject. What do the women think? What should I do or What should I not do?

 

 

I've said it before, and I'll say it again...when it comes to the topic of dating, I'll take a guy's advice over a girl's every time...

 

But of course a girl's opinion is nice every now and then if you need some sunshine blown up your ass...

[txsilkysmoothe]

This is not required. If she does not say anything about meeting up, then she is not into you. You don't need to say anything. Please don't say anything...it will make you look like a twerp...

 

 

Agreed!

 

She is hoping you will just go away, so do that. Just forget her, but learn the lesson from this experience.

[gypsy_nicky]

I asked out this girl at the retail store I work at. We have spoken briefly at work a handful of times, exchanged some basic information about each other. I work for the corporate office of the retailer; she works on the sales floor so our paths do not cross in a professional/work related setting.

 

Anyway, I asked her out and she said yes. I gave her my number on a post it. I did not ask for her number, thinking that she would give it to me if she wanted to. She works another retail job, in the evenings and thus is working almost seven days a week. After I asked her out, she stated that the coming Saturday would work for her. She told me I have a party to go to in the afternoon, when I'm done I will call you. Come Saturday night, I waited at home for her phone call until 7pm, it never came. I waited till 7p coz my friend were all going out to dinner and they invited me to come along.

Then on following Monday we talked at work and she apologized for not calling, she said I lost the post-it you gave me and I think I may have left it here at work. She also said I should have given you my number. She then said make sure you get my number today before you leave today.

I got her later that day and again we agreed we would try to do something on Saturday. She said I will call you or text you on Saturday afternoon. She is renovating this old house that she bought, so she spends most of her free time working on the home. So again Saturday evening rolls around and I get to no call, so I call her up. She tells me that she is at home depot buying stuff for her house and that she has been working on the house all day. She says I'm just too tired and I still have so much work to do at home, so I will have to pass on going out tonight.

I had absolutely no issues with this, I told her no problem you let me know when is a good time for you.

So Monday rolls around and we chat again, just shooting the breeze, chit chat. She tells me her schedule for the week and lets me know that Thursday is her day off. I don’t say anything about meeting up, she does not either.

Later in the week, on Wed I sent her text message. I asked her if she is working this coming Sunday (Valentines). She replies yes, from 10 to 6.

I then texted her back and said would you like to go out to dinner after work on Sunday, for Valentine’s Day, my treat of course. She replies with, I have to be honest not sure. I'm sure a lot of places will be super busy. Thx for the invite. I replied with, NP, maybe another day and time.

She replies yeah. Just thinking to play it by ear.

 

So there you have it. That is what has transpired between us. Right now I am laying low and not speaking or saying much to her, and actually we have not seen each other much since the text chat, her schedule has been a little different this week.

 

My question to everyone is, did I do anything wrong here? Where do you think I stand with this girl? What should be my next move?

 

Thanks to all that reply!

 

although women will make it hard for men to pursue them, this situation seems off. How long have you been seeing her?

 

Although, OP, if your willing to invest in seeing if this woman will eventually bite or not keep at it.

[gypsy_nicky]

 

If I was into a guy - they'd get my number or I'd make EVERY attempt to get his information (phone number, where they hang out, etc . . )

 

Good luck!

 

yeaah right.

[DaGmen]

ok, I guess I am going to just keep my mouth shut!

 

I am not "crazy" about this girl. I just asked her out coz I dont have anything else going on in my life, it terms of dating that is.

We had spoken a few times out on the sales floor, she did initiate the first contact. The other reason for even going down this path was that she is super tall, I am 6ft 3in and thus I dont run into too many women that are tall as me.

But anyway, it is time to move on. I will just keep everything cordial and easy like it has been the whole time. If she wants to go out, she can say something. If not, so be it!

[sid3]

ok, I guess I am going to just keep my mouth shut!

 

I am not "crazy" about this girl. I just asked her out coz I dont have anything else going on in my life, it terms of dating that is.

We had spoken a few times out on the sales floor, she did initiate the first contact. The other reason for even going down this path was that she is super tall, I am 6ft 3in and thus I dont run into too many women that are tall as me.

But anyway, it is time to move on. I will just keep everything cordial and easy like it has been the whole time. If she wants to go out, she can say something. If not, so be it!

 

Good call. It's better to keep your mouth shut then lose your dignity by confronting someone you haven't even dated. Besides the fact that you seem smart enough to move on, what ever she would say if confronted would probably just be more bs and another excuse. While your now focusing on meeting someone else, she may suddenly become more interested by the fact you didn't persist. It could be that she'll miss the attention you were giving her or she may actually want to go out. Doesn't matter to you though, you're moving on

[DaGmen]

So I am a very logical person. I take a very logical approach to most things in life.

 

I have these questions, that I just cannot come up with an answer for..

1) Why would she say yes, when I asked her out?

2) And why would she give me her phone number, if she was NOT interested in me at all?

 

I just cant seem to understand this, it does not seem logical to me!

 

I have moved on, but since I get to see her everyday, these thoughts/questions come up.

[USMCHokie]

So I am a very logical person. I take a very logical approach to most things in life.

 

I have these questions, that I just cannot come up with an answer for..

1) Why would she say yes, when I asked her out?

2) And why would she give me her phone number, if she was NOT interested in me at all?

 

I just cant seem to understand this, it does not seem logical to me!

 

I have moved on, but since I get to see her everyday, these thoughts/questions come up.

 

 

Because girls are crazy. And sometimes illogical.