Got a text from exMM-- Did NOT respond of course =) Keeping the NC

[alg24]

Hi-

Its been about three weeks No Contact. I broke it about 5 days ago but did not get a response thank- goodness. Anyway, I ran into exMM today. We rode by each other (couple feet apart but heading in different directions) He had sunglasses on but was staring at me in the eyes, and I looked at him blankly... His stare was not happy but not angry.. If anything cold. An hour later I got a blank text message from the phone that we once used together... 30 minutes later he wrote something along the lines of, why do you speak so bad about me. Of course I did not response but WHAT THE.....!!! Here a week ago your complaining to my for me to leave you alone...

 

I will continue no contact. There is absolutely no reason to have contact.

 

Fooled once you are the best. How are you?

[whichwayisup]

Good for you!

 

And now, time to change your cell number and/or block him so you won't get ANY texts from him. Any type of contact from him is going to make you feel blah.

 

He's an idiot.

[fooled once]

I told you he would try to contact you!!!

 

And I want you to take this special phone and donate it to a woman's shelter. Get rid of it. You do not need it lying around.

 

I really, REALLY wish you would find a new place to ride. Part of me wonders if you make excuses of riding by his place so that you can see him, so you can see if he responds to you

 

Please honey, you are too fragile, too easily persuaded right now..you aren't strong enough to stand up against him without breaking. NOT yet, but you will get there.

 

I knew he would reach out to you!!!!

 

Now, get rid of that phone. Turn it off, throw it away, donate it. But get rid of it. I don't want you having it.

 

If it is HIS phone that is sending the message to your ONLY cell phone - BLOCK that number. I am serious. BLOCK IT. Go erase that text message and BLOCK that number.

 

You are doing good -- getting stronger each day. But.....

 

do not respond to him. DO NOT RESPOND TO HIM. do not respond to him. DO NOT RESPOND TO HIM.

 

are you getting my message???

[WhereToGoFromHere]

Join me and IMTK We're NC buddies, hahaha!

 

Hang in there!!!

[alg24]

Thank you everyone!

 

"I really, REALLY wish you would find a new place to ride. Part of me wonders if you make excuses of riding by his place so that you can see him, so you can see if he responds to you"-- Fooled Once

 

FO I promise you I DO NOT LOOK FOR HIM.

I was riding MY horse over to the horse show-- there is a path that I need to take to get there. The only path unless I ride 30 minutes out of the way? And he was walking from that path. Sometimes he takes his horse out on trail rides, but really can't say where he would ride. Same for me... Its a small town, our barns are next to each other, etc. These are not pooky cheap trail horses we ride for fun. He works for a top polo player and my horse is a top show horse. When I ride somewhere its for the training of my horse. But with are barns being so close when he goes out in the morning either on the track or whatever he can look over my barn and see if I am there etc. I can do the same with him-- just look out in the distance if I choose to see if his car is there. I just do what I need to do and leave when it comes to the barn.

 

I can't take that phone because I don't have it.... He has the extra phone and texted me with it. From your advice before I just viewed it as his phone now-- he will do whatever he wants with it. Its a prepaid so I have zero control of it.

 

I will not text him back.

 

Really and truly do not understand his reasoning for text messaging me. Start trouble? Get in a fight? Hurt me? He was the one who said he wants me to to leave him alone--- well I am leaving him alone, FOREVER.

 

I just view things as when you say something unless your so out of control you truly mean it. You said your tired of us, you want it over, don't contact me-- fine I won't. Its done.

 

Lets just leave each other alone =)

 

I don't try to do anything to start a problem. I don't flirt with his friends, go out and make a scene where I know it will get back to him... No no no... I just want to get through the next couple months being in this small town.

[alg24]

Also, this is not an excuse but my dad controls the cell phone accounts. If I want to change my number I need to go through him. He has been very worried with everything going on, unless exMM started really bothering me I don't want to change my phone number yet. With everything that has happened both my parents are very worried, and they don't live in the same state with me. If I ask my dad to change my cell phone number it would alarm him. He is under enough stress and pressure I don't want to add to that. And thats the truth. Not a lie. exMM sent 2 text messages yesterday- 1 blank and 1 with words... If this becomes a pattern I would do something about it. I opened an online account but having trouble blocking numbers.. I have verizon... My dad is very controlling and whenever I want to change or do something its a fricken fight. I PROMISE this is not an excuse. I don't want contact from exMM. I want to be left alone. I don't get off on receiving messages. I like the quiet.

[fooled once]

Also, this is not an excuse but my dad controls the cell phone accounts. If I want to change my number I need to go through him. He has been very worried with everything going on, unless exMM started really bothering me I don't want to change my phone number yet. With everything that has happened both my parents are very worried, and they don't live in the same state with me. If I ask my dad to change my cell phone number it would alarm him. He is under enough stress and pressure I don't want to add to that. And thats the truth. Not a lie. exMM sent 2 text messages yesterday- 1 blank and 1 with words... If this becomes a pattern I would do something about it. I opened an online account but having trouble blocking numbers.. I have verizon... My dad is very controlling and whenever I want to change or do something its a fricken fight. I PROMISE this is not an excuse. I don't want contact from exMM. I want to be left alone. I don't get off on receiving messages. I like the quiet.

 

Hey, you are doing good. And I don't want your dad worrying anymore about you than a parent already worries about a child. Especially since you aren't in the same state. My son, who turns 21 on Monday!!!! , lives about 15 miles away and I can tell you the worry and stress I endure daily about him. He bought his own house last year (with my H co-signing) and if I had it my way, he would live with me forever. So I do not want to add stress to your dad.

 

But you are doing good. BE PROUD OF YOURSELF -- got that??

 

((hug))

 

I know tomorrow will be hard - Valentines Day. But keep it up. Start making new memories for your and your life ahead of you.

 

He texted you because he is an a**hole. Simple as that. He wants to get you aggitated. He wants to get you thinking of him. He wants to control you. Continue what you are doing and ignoring him. DO NOT REPLY.

 

((hug)) Come here and vent, talk, cry...that's what we are here for

[alg24]

Hey FO! Happy valentine's day!! Hope your having a terrific day.

 

Yea.. I just hate my parents worrying.. You understand

 

So.. Your going to be upset, but I never lie and have to much respect to you to lie. Please be gentle =/ I beat myself up enough.

 

exMM texted me again last night. I was out to dinner with friends and had a couple drinks. He wrote "Do you want to see me tonight?" I wrote back "You are joking?" (I promise you I did NOT want to see him but I was a little shocked and sorta judgement wise not there) He didn't text me back and I left it that. 1 1/2 hours later I got another text and he wrote "Why did you speak so bad about me?" I wrote back something like just stop all of this. You have hurt me so bad. Happy? This is done. (Something to feed his ego) I have no desire to continue playing these games. We have not spoken in about three weeks, why are you starting this now? I am quiet and respectful, hope you are the same. I have no reason to speak badly about you. And I wrote something along the lines of why do you want to see me or do you need a place to stay.

 

He wrote "You lost a friend." I said you were never a friend. You lost me. I was everything for you and you treated me like ****. He wrote "Bye, Leave me alone please." Then he wrote "No."

 

The old me would have freaked out and panicked, I won't lie I got a little teary eyed but my heart was not racing- I was calm. Afterwards I went to do night check on my horse and went to sleep.

 

I truly don't understand why he texted. Was it a control thing? Its been done for over 3 weeks, I have not contacted him in a week (remember my weak moment). Was he looking to control me? See that he still had me? Feed an ego..? Or just hurt me?

 

I have no more ego over this... Let him think he hurt me, fine. I don't care who ended it. It needed to end. I wouldn't go back. Yes I am weak. But I can look at myself in the mirror and I would never go back.

 

I don't think he is trying to come back. I wrote yesterday something in regards to him coming over (if he said yes I sware I would have not allowed it) but he said no. So I guess he wasn't looking to come over...

 

I am looking forward to summer when we are in different states.

 

I guess since he said good-bye forever maybe he just wanted the last word and will leave me alone.

 

xoxox

 

Please be gentle FO =/

[whichwayisup]

It's all an ego feed. He is f**king with you, to see how you'll react and what you'll do. It's selfish and stupid of him to do this.

 

CUT HIM OFF completely and please, for your own sanity, change your cell number!

 

I know you won't go back..

 

Grieve the loss, let go and allow yourself to start to heal. Trust me, I think you'll feel so much better within a month, maybe less and you'll look back and wonder WTF you ever saw in him to begin with.

[Leia]

Oh dear. You've been doing so well and then you replied his text messages!

 

Leave them be, the next time he texts you again. Just DO NOT reply to them. He's enjoying the attention, even if it were messages telling him to stop texting you and leave you alone. He got what he wanted and that was for you to reply him.

 

Just stop with that. Don't reply. Go about doing your own thing.

[alg24]

Grieve the loss, let go and allow yourself to start to heal. Trust me, I think you'll feel so much better within a month, maybe less and you'll look back and wonder WTF you ever saw in him to begin with.

 

I am already thinking WTF... As I said I can't believe I responded. I truly do NOT want to go back. But with his response it didn't send me through the roof.

 

Thank you everyone.

[Confused4Now]

Trust me, he's not texting you for your benefit. He wants to know that he can still get to you. And this time, he did. Next time, he won't.

 

Does your dad have to call to have a number blocked? I really wish you'd get this jerk's number blocked.

Exactly he wanted to pull your strings to see if you'd respond. It's all about control and thats it.....he wants to see if the connection is still there. Take your POWER back never respond. If I were to text back...the only thing he'd get back from me would be a blank text for every one he sent. Just to fu_k with him....

[alg24]

Hey everyone.

 

I 100% know he is not texting me for my benefit.

 

I also know that this needs to be done and must be done. Its so out of control and toxic.

 

Perhaps with his "good-bye forever" text message he will not text me?

 

I truly don't care who has the power or the last word. Who ended the A. Its done. I need to continue NC and not slip again..

 

I have my shrink tomorrow so yea...

 

Err I feel so stupid.

 

Thanks everyone.

[BB07]

Alg.....you did just what he wanted you to do, you responded. It didn't matter what kind of response he got from you, anything would have done for him. He is messing with you....DO NOT let him do that to you again, OK. Tell yourself you don't give a **** what his motives are, they do not matter. He is an ASS.....don't kid yourself or fool yourself, he is, so get pissed. He took advantage of someone a lot younger than himself.

 

I get the feeling that you think you passed some kind of test in that it didn't bother you as badly as you thought. Wrong hon, any contact at all is a very bad thing.

Now get back on that NC wagon and don't do it again, you screwed up this time, but no more OK???

 

Hugs......BB

[fooled once]

 

I swear, i am gonna take your phone away from you!!!

 

Does it matter why he is texting you? Does it matter? Will you ever figure out what HE is thinking? No. So stop trying to figure it out.

 

Sweetie, you keep trying to excuse why you text him, etc.

 

Either you are done with him or you aren't. Either you really want to do NC or you don't.

 

Stop wondering what he is doing. Stop thinking you can figure him out. Stop trying to examine his actions. Stop worrying about who ended it. Stop wondering if he is done texting you.

 

Make up YOUR mind if YOU are done playing this game. Make up YOUR mind if YOU are done texting him. Make up YOUR mind if you are DONE with making excuses for why you sent him a text. Make up YOUR mind if you are done.

 

Alg, examine what I said. Think about it. Really think about it.

 

I care about you and want you to get past these games, but I need YOU to want this too. ((hugs))

[alg24]

Thank you FO. How are you?

 

My cell phone is in the car! I am upstairs in my apartment and set my alarm clock for tomorrow.

 

I truly don't understand why I responded. Its weird because this week I have not been missing him as much. There is a couple times it hits me, but I have almost put up a wall where I don't remember remember spending time with him. Make sense? If I think about it really hard yes I remember, but I choose not to. It would be awkward even speaking to him on the phone now (not saying I want to or questioning if he will call but making the point that I am not use to speaking to him.) He and I had a pattern/schedule. Now I have filled those holes with other activities and I don't long for him as much better.

 

But it does NOT matter what he is doing. It matters what I am doing and not doing. This guy is really really bad for me. He is a sick twisted guy. I need to keep away. And I truly mean that. They are not just words.

 

FO I promise you I am trying hard and I promise you I do not want to be back with this man.

 

Even what he did yesterday in contacting me shows how immature, sick, twisted, game playing, maniuplatvie (spelling) he is. Bothering my friends a week and a half ago for me to leave him alone, then I am respectful but ignore him after that and yesterday I get a text from him telling me that I lost a friend and good-bye forever. WTF... Is this man really 38? I mean I am 21, this really hurts (I am VERY inexperienced) but I was like okay we got the no contact thing down we are going good. When we run into each other we ignore.. Alright! But then he does this. Whatever. It actually shows me how screwed up he is.

 

Anyway, I have a insanely busy upcoming week so thats a good thing. Any extra time (which is not a lot) will be spent on homework and sleep. And I have been leaving my phone behind.

 

I really don't feel a temptation to call or text, but when I don't need my phone I just leave it in the car.

 

Thank you everyone. you guys have been a HUGE support for me.

[BB07]

 

I swear, i am gonna take your phone away from you!!!

 

Does it matter why he is texting you? Does it matter? Will you ever figure out what HE is thinking? No. So stop trying to figure it out.

 

Sweetie, you keep trying to excuse why you text him, etc.

 

Either you are done with him or you aren't. Either you really want to do NC or you don't.

 

Stop wondering what he is doing. Stop thinking you can figure him out. Stop trying to examine his actions. Stop worrying about who ended it. Stop wondering if he is done texting you.

 

Make up YOUR mind if YOU are done playing this game. Make up YOUR mind if YOU are done texting him. Make up YOUR mind if you are DONE with making excuses for why you sent him a text. Make up YOUR mind if you are done.

 

Alg, examine what I said. Think about it. Really think about it.

 

I care about you and want you to get past these games, but I need YOU to want this too. ((hugs))

 

 

EXCELLENT Advice!!!! Read it again and again Alg........and then again.

[whichwayisup]

Once you truly make up your mind, get RID OF YOUR CELL NUMBER. Just get a new number.

[pureinheart]

Once you truly make up your mind, get RID OF YOUR CELL NUMBER. Just get a new number.

 

Also it will give you the feeling of starting fresh/new...anyone up for a NC club????

[fooled once]

She can't change her cell number without her father doing it as she is on his plan. to tell him she wants to change the number will send up a red flag, and since he is several states away, this is not good. I can guarantee he already worries about her, to know that this man is harassing her will only cause him more anxiety. We don't need that.

 

We need Alg to NOT respond. In time, he will stop. But not right now because unfortunately - and I am gonna whop Alg - she is responding at times.

 

Alg, good girl for leaving the phone in the car!! And I am so proud of you for recognizing this

 

But it does NOT matter what he is doing. It matters what I am doing and not doing.

 

My dear, you are FINALLY getting it!!! I am so proud of you!!

 

NOW, keep it up. Keep the phone locked up so you aren't tempted to respond/defend yourself/tell him off.

 

How are things with your friend who is staying with you? Is she keeping you occupied?

[alg24]

FO tail between my legs... Major tail between my legs... Look at my other post... Can we pretend this never happened??? I NEED to just put the phone down and stop. Yes the pain is sooooo deep but I am only hurting myself MORE by contacting him.