abdellost Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 my first love and first everything broke up with me after nearly 5 years. we did have problems that might have made her snap. anways i kept texting, calling, ran after her. Then i learned the hard truth: i must ignore her as much as i can if i want a chance. She changed her number, though i know she still has me on her new number. Did i lose all hope for running after her? its been 3 weeks since i talked to her or seen her. Problem is,every where is a memory, especially for her. We live in a small city and we're in love since 16. so when i used to travel to other countries for work and things, she used to cry because everything reminded her of me. My question is: did i ruin everything running after her at the very start? and another question is: i never see her because she hangs out with different groups, different hang out spots and is in a different college, so i know its rare for us to bump into each other even though its a small city. Would it make it easier for her to go on not seeing me and not knowing how i am? i know that's one way to win a girl back, is for them to see each other often. but i wouldn't be able to accidentally bump into her any time soon or maybe never. Thanks! btw, its been 2 weeks of NC. hurts even more. but she didnt contact me so far...how long does it take to know its completely over, especially when this person was always on you and kissing you and never letting your hands go, ESPECIALLY when its one day before the break up( she kept asking me never to leave her and she cant live without me)
curiousnycgirl Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 As others have told you already in other posts - you have to accept that it is over and you need to heal. You need to maintain NC not in the hope that she will come back, but to heal yourself. I have been NC for just over 10 weeks (after 5.5 years) I cried every single day for hours during the first month. Then I cried every single day for abbreviated time periods during the second month. Now I'm at a point where I get teary eyed during the day, but don't break down more than once or twice a week. I miss him more than words can say. But I have also come to some huge realizations about myself. Some very complimentary and others very hard to take. The ones that are hard to take are what I need to work on - and I'm trying. The complimentary things let me know that regardless of what my ex said - I am SO worth it. Now it's your turn to do the same.
sean1 Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 i used this in another post but i feel h ere will helpto... It doesn't matter what you are thinking or what fear you have, if you just do it. Action is the only thing that matters You have to let go and heal…. I can see that at the end of my life, I'm going to look back and say, 'Gosh, I wish I had taken more action! I believe a little bit of success lies in everyone! Will you be the one to deny that? Or rather be the one who chooses to be guided by it? You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy! Instead of thinking about what you're missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing. im not saying a positive attitude may solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. and to you..... Overcoming low self-esteem is very important because feeling unworthy diminishes your self confidence. When your self worth is low, you are very cautious over your actions, decisions and interactions. You become timid, fearful and hesitant. You stunt your personal growth and don't get to make the most of your potentials YOU YOURSELF, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve YOUR love and affection YOU HAVE to let go. move on. things will get better. they will! stop holding on to hope. Hold your head high, stick your chest out. You can make it. It gets dark sometimes, but morning comes. you just have to be strong and post, post, post on here! were here to help and guide you through the best we can! allthe best
Author abdellost Posted February 13, 2010 Author Posted February 13, 2010 I always understood when people tell u to give it time&do NC,itwas meant to heal,not to get back the person. But I'm confused.if I go out with another girl,she would flip,and just the oppsite,would go as far away as possbile because if I really did love her she would expect me fight for her¬ date others.I dunno.I knew her so well.peoplesay she been hiding how she feels.if that's true,she wouldn't be kising my ass every second.she said she been lying for two years.maybe its cuz her parents would say no&she knows its goin to be hard.but why would she tell me "ill fight till idie to marryu"if she been lying for 2 years to herself?
skydiveaddict Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 btw, its been 2 weeks of NC. hurts even more. but she didnt contact me so far...how long does it take to know its completely over, especially when this person was always on you and kissing you and never letting your hands go, ESPECIALLY when its one day before the break up( she kept asking me never to leave her and she cant live without me) It will hurt more before it gets better. That's just life. You miss her and you love her. But things will get better. She is playing with your feelings, (and having a good time doing it). DONT play her game. Stay NC and give youself time to heal
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