Wife left.

[iheartboobs]

Well, I appreciate you taking the time to read the whole thread and make constructive comments... you know, I actually read your thread ann09, and I think you might just be the last person in the world qualified to be passing judgement on anybody.

[You Go Girl]

You need to get the crap slapped out of you until you hang those posters.

How would that feel?

A woman takes abuse from you for 6 years or whatever, and you decide that she's selfish to ask that you complete a task you said you would? hmmm...who's selfish here?

And just how is it that you have forgiven yourself so quickly? Seems that's the very type of guy that would go back and do the same things again.

Your handle stinks too, by the way. It's really immature. Grow up. It's the type of handle that belongs to a 15 year old boy.

Let's see...what else can I do to get your anger up?

Oh, in a year you're going to be over this marriage, but you'll still love boobs. Well doesn't that just sum up the depth of your personality.

Buddy, you're not worth having a relationship with, and if the father-like-son stuff is who you are and who you will continue to be, well the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it?

You deserve each other.

[iheartboobs]

Sorry, but it is selfish.

 

Did you bother to read my example? If you told your man you would take him on vacation, then he broke up with you, then you told him you were really sorry about everything and if there was something he needed to let you know, then he said "you know what, I have no interest in getting back together with you, but I'd still like you to pay for my vacation" would you do it? Maybe you would, but I wouldn't.

 

Also, since you decided to bring up maturity, good job attacking my username. You, ma'am, absolutely ooze maturity.

 

Last thing: in a year, I do intend to be over this relationship and I do also intend to still love boobs... I apologize if you find that offensive.

[You Go Girl]

Sorry, but it is selfish.

 

Did you bother to read my example? If you told your man you would take him on vacation, then he broke up with you, then you told him you were really sorry about everything and if there was something he needed to let you know, then he said "you know what, I have no interest in getting back together with you, but I'd still like you to pay for my vacation" would you do it? Maybe you would, but I wouldn't.

 

Also, since you decided to bring up maturity, good job attacking my username. You, ma'am, absolutely ooze maturity.

 

Last thing: in a year, I do intend to be over this relationship and I do also intend to still love boobs... I apologize if you find that offensive.

 

You gave your word you would do something--you went back on your word. Maybe you think that is ok behavior.

You're also focusing on this petty little thing she asked of you---the focus should be on yourself and your abomidable behavior.

Instead you're focusing on some small petty perceived flaw in your spouse.

And no--the truth is you don't apologize at all--that's a false apology=a lie.

You intend to be over your relationship--well good for you I say sarcastically--I'm so glad you have such clear goals.

[iheartboobs]

It seems I've really struck a chord with the mid-life crisis/left their husbands for no reason club. You didn't bother to answer my question: if you promised to take your husband on vacation and they left you with no hope of reconciliation, would you still pay for his vacation? This isn't thermal dynamics, it's not apples to oranges, a promise is a promise is a promise... if you would refuse to pay for your ex's vacation after you promised you would while you were still together, it's no different than me not putting up flyers I promised my wife I would when we were together.

 

Also, what's this nonsense about me focusing on some petty flaw in my wife? I devoted over a dozen paragraphs in my initial post to what I did wrong, there are a whole 2 devoted to what she did wrong and her flaws (and I left out a lot of stuff because it doesn't really help me to become a better person to explain her fault in the marriage)... I'm not the one focusing on that stuff.

 

You are right about something, that last bit was a false apology (bully on you for picking up on that!), because I don't plan to be over a relationship with you, and I don't plan on loving your boobs, so what I said really has nothing to do with you at all, therefore, you have no reason to be insulted/offended and no reason to attack me (and that means I have no reason to apologize to you).

 

Finally, I do indeed plan on getting over this hurdle in my life. I plan on bouncing back, learning from it, changing myself accordingly, and not making the same mistakes again. Would you rather I wallow around in self-pity for a few years? Don't answer that, I don't care.

 

As much as I appreciate the constant unprovoked attacks from someone who is far less than perfect, you're not really helping anything. You Go (away) Girl.

[You Go Girl]

Yes, I provoked you. For good reason too. I wanted to see if I could push your anger buttons. A test of sorts. A woman provoking you that couldn't slap --only verbally should you have the skills to do so, and I'm rather proud of my verbal jousting abilities.

I provoked you because I'm concerned. It takes no brain surgeon to see that your wife is primping for you. She brought up her weight loss. She brought up what--eyeshadow color or something silly like that? Silly physical primping stuff.

I'm afraid for her. I'm afraid that she wants you back, and that she is willing to come back vulnerable and not a stronger more independent woman with better skills to defend herself.

And you're wrong--I don't want to see you wallow. A little humble pie is definitely in order. But if you are able and willing to change your abusive behavior, you will be less of a threat to women on this planet and become perhaps a loving caring asset to women who are vulnerable to the rages of men who are stronger physically.

Help make this world a better one by becoming a better person. Life is tough enough without abuse, yes? Become part of the solution instead of part of the problem.

If you can make those strides --kudos to you, and thank the gods more women will be able to breathe a little easier, one less predator, one more defender of women.

[iheartboobs]

Ah, in that case, I really appreciate the effort.

 

...but I don't think you need to be that concerned about her coming back, I don't know for sure if my wife is primping for me, but I doubt it. I talked to a psychiatrist about that episode yesterday and he said it sounds like she's playing games with me. I'm also worried because he asked a lot of questions about her family, childhood, medical history, and past relationships and he thinks she's in real trouble. In addition to PTSD, he thinks she's showing signs of manic depression and that she shows the psychological maturity of a child (probably due to all the prescription mood enhancers and anti-depressants [i think she was on 8 when I met her] that she was forced to take for about 12 years).

 

So, you remember school? The 12-ish years when people learn how to deal with each other? The time when you learn how to make and keep friends, handle stress and heartbreak? Well, during all of that time, she was little more than a zombie and pretty much didn't develop psychologicaly at all... and that's nothing compared to how damaging her home-life was.

 

I have no idea how to help her, here. I mean, if your ex husband did to you what I've done and then told you that you needed to see a therapist, what would you do? No matter how good my intentions are or how I say it, all she's going to hear is: "I've decided it's all your fault because you're a crazy bitch and you're acting like a child, go see a shrink."

[You Go Girl]

Ah, in that case, I really appreciate the effort.

 

I have no idea how to help her, here. I mean, if your ex husband did to you what I've done and then told you that you needed to see a therapist, what would you do? No matter how good my intentions are or how I say it, all she's going to hear is: "I've decided it's all your fault because you're a crazy bitch and you're acting like a child, go see a shrink."

 

You want to help her?

Then start being a gentleman. Raise your standards of your own behavior to what the rest of the civilized world thinks is acceptable.

That's the best thing you could do for her now--give her the respect you never have.

Sounds like she has had enough shrinks. Too many pills already.

As for your shrink passing judgment on her and even trying to diagnose a person he has never met--he's just out of line. Not a very good shrink would diagnose a person they've never met.

Remember shrinks can be idiots too.

[iheartboobs]

I think I am respecting her, she wanted out and I'm respecting her decision; I don't even talk to her unless she calls me or drops off our daughter. I don't yell at her, I'm not angry with her, when she tells me what I did wrong I simply apologize instead of defending myself or bringing up what she did wrong. I'm not really sure what else I can do. She has psychological problems (she's admitted it to me on multiple occasions when we were together, but said it was no big deal) that are pretty severe and began long before I met her (though, I'm sure I didn't help any) that aren't just going to go away because I'm leaving her alone. I'd like to help her get better if I can, not just limit how much worse she gets.

 

...and she most certainly had too many pills, but she's never really been in therapy as far as I know. She went to one counselor 3 times and stopped going because "the woman got on her nerves", and I think she's been to one other twice, all in the last 2 months. I also think it's unfair to label the psychiatrist I've talked to as not very good or an idiot... he hasn't diagnosed anything, he's simply asked me the same kinds of questions he'd ask her, and based on my answers (which I aswered to the best of my ability), he told me what he feared might be wrong with her. He doesn't know anything for sure which is why he wants me to try and get her into a psychiatrist's (not free counselor's) office asap.