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Can girls love you one day and suddenly not love you the next?

abdellost

By abdellost
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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abdellost Member

abdellost

Posted
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after 4 years she broke up with me,in such a bad way. She text me after all the crying and trying to talk to her saying "i loved you and still do but love is not everything, cant solve everything". 2 days later i went to her college to talk to her and i begged her to at least look at e in the eye and tlel me she loves me ( i knew 100% she would say yes, never doubt it). Then she said "i cant lie to you"...i was like what? and she looks at me and says "i really dont know". i walked away crying.

 

2 days before the break up let me explain how she was: she was telling me how amazing iam, how i always make her speechless and surprise her doing something crazy sweet.when shes sad that day due to her doing bad in an exam, i made her the happiest girl in less than a minute(her own words). She kept holding my hand and kissing my shoulders. laughing and joking. looking at me and telling me she wishes she could just eat me up. we had an argument a little bit afterwards, small one. went home, she text messaging being really sweet to me, i got annoyed cuz she knew i was feeling bad about the argument and she was just being nice for that reason. she said she was because she wants me to feel better and never feel hurt or sad or mad at her, she always wants to make me happy. she then cried and told me never to leave her. last message before she went to bed was "hold me tight, i never want you to let me go. plesae dont ever let me go, ilove you so much 4ever". the next day she broke it off....

 

 

is it normal for girls to get confused like this and then realize their mistakes? its been 2 weeks now and she has not wrote me till now

 

 

its a 4 year relationship.so ofcourse theres more to the story haha. i just didnt want to bother everyone and i already have a thread with everything, no one replied though. she was always stressed, her mom told her she cant see me anymore (after an argument she had with me, this was 2 years ago) and she had to always sneak around see me. she was just always stressed and scared to hurt me. she always thought of anything would hurt me or make me mad before she does something, which is kinda nerve wrecking. she loved me that much. i did the same, was depressed the last 3 month but never bothered her about it or broke up with her.

just1guy Established Member

just1guy

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Yes it can. It happened to me after two years, but only after she began to lose interest in our relationship.

ATR Established Member

ATR

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No, it doesn't happen overnight. She's probably been thinking about ending it for some time now, slowly dis-attaching herself from you. Normally there are subtle hints along the way, which usually the dumpee fails to notice - make no mistake it's not your fault, she should have discussed it with you earlier.

Its too late to go back now. She doesn't want to fix it, you can't make her. You don't want to be with someone who is able to throw away what you had like that - believe me.

 

NC, move on.:)

bananaboat11 Established Member

bananaboat11

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Very easily they can... and it sucks.

Silver_star Established Member

Silver_star

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I dont think they do it over night. I think anyone who is unsure, slowly gets emotionally detached and lies to themselves about it, until they cant lie anymore and BAM they are gone and they are ready to leave. I dont believe that love has an on and off switch like that. If she did love you she slowly became detached and realized it was lacking something for her and if she just liked you but was confused...well she overcame that too. Im sorry.

rand0m Established Member

rand0m

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Something similar happened with my ex. She didn't really show signs, maybe subtle, but nothing I thought was serious. Then the day come, where all of I sudden I hear, "how do you know you're in love with me?" BAM.. downhill from there until we broke up about a week later.

 

She says she was "living a lie", she as 0 "in love" feelings for me, and wants to be friends. Everyone thought we were the perfect couple, and she felt like she couldn't handle that anymore, because in her heart she felt like it wasn't true. It sucks big time, but from what I've learned over the past 6 weeks, it's out of your hands. Learn from it, grow, and improve on yourself, that's all you can do.

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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My ex did the same thing...appeared like she suddenly didn't love me anymore out of the blue, but as everyone else said, it was probably a gradual process...

 

Girls are craaaaazy....:bunny:

Eeyore79 Established Member

Eeyore79

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Nope, girls don't lose their love for you overnight. They gradually disengage from the relationship, becoming more and more emotionally distant, until they finally break it off. While they're distancing themselves they may experience guilt and make an effort to be extra nice for a while, especially if it's the old "I love you but I'm not in love with you" syndrome. She's been thinking about leaving you for a while, and she's tried to be extra nice and pull it together for a while, but obviously it wasn't working for her so she dumped you.

bananaboat11 Established Member

bananaboat11

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Girls are craaaaazy....:bunny:

 

 

I agree whole heartedly. Gay boys are drama and I am not turned on by penis.... so I guess I'm stuck with vagina. Gotta love life. :rolleyes:

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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I agree whole heartedly. Gay boys are drama and I am not turned on by penis.... so I guess I'm stuck with vagina. Gotta love life. :rolleyes:

 

 

+1. Despite my numerous man-crushes...

Silver_star Established Member

Silver_star

Posted
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My ex did the same thing...appeared like she suddenly didn't love me anymore out of the blue, but as everyone else said, it was probably a gradual process...

 

Girls are craaaaazy....:bunny:

 

My ex did the same thing to me too, so i guesss guys are craaaazyy too. lol:p

annxxdisaster Established Member

annxxdisaster

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My ex did the same thing to me too, so i guesss guys are craaaazyy too. lol:p

 

I'm in the same boat! What's HIS deal then?

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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My ex did the same thing to me too, so i guesss guys are craaaazyy too. lol:p

 

 

Sorry...we're not craaaazy at all...it's just you ladies that are craaaazy...:rolleyes:

GrayClouds Established Member

GrayClouds

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Yes, usually after someone new gives them a big "O"

sunrae Established Member

sunrae

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Sorry...we're not craaaazy at all...it's just you ladies that are craaaazy...:rolleyes:

 

 

Guys are like Houdini.. Ya;; just pull a disappearing act after telling a girl, how much you like them.. Then Poof, your gone. Then Poof your back again after a month, like nothing ever happened.. CrAzY...

 

And YES,, some women are CrAzY!!!!

 

Did you know it was supposed to snow at the beach this weekend? You cant out run it.

bananaboat11 Established Member

bananaboat11

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My ex did the same thing to me too, so i guesss guys are craaaazyy too. lol:p

 

 

No... no... guys are just stupid.

 

I was once dating an amazing woman.... and I dumped her b/c of a HUGE miscommunication. Now we're best friends/soul mates in no contact (she just broke up with her current bf and has been cold/distant from me since and told me that she still cares so much about me, but needs some space... interestingly enough. I'm totally ok with just being friends... we've been broken up for a year now. wow)

annxxdisaster Established Member

annxxdisaster

Posted
Posted
No... no... guys are just stupid.

 

I was once dating an amazing woman.... and I dumped her b/c of a HUGE miscommunication. Now we're best friends/soul mates in no contact (she just broke up with her current bf and has been cold/distant from me since and told me that she still cares so much about me, but needs some space... interestingly enough. I'm totally ok with just being friends... we've been broken up for a year now. wow)

 

Are they really THAT stupid? Or do they get some sort of sick kick out of making girls fall for them just to change their mind as soon as she feels the same way as he does?

bananaboat11 Established Member

bananaboat11

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Are they really THAT stupid? Or do they get some sort of sick kick out of making girls fall for them just to change their mind as soon as she feels the same way as he does?

 

 

We are that stupid.

sunrae Established Member

sunrae

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We are that stupid.

 

 

LMAO... You are the greatest,, so truethful

bananaboat11 Established Member

bananaboat11

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LMAO... You are the greatest,, so truethful

 

 

I regret every day I didn't profess my love to her when I had the chance. Now I live with the thought that I may never get that chance... she told me she can't handle any serious relationships right now, but doesn't want to lose me... and I don't want to lose her.

 

she told me after I broke the NC (me being the dumper...) 7 months later... she was so scared I'd never talk to her again. Her parents love me and told her she was stupid and she realized it the moment I was gone.

 

I'm completely ok with her not being mine... (ie, I am fine with her dating other guys etc) ...I'm just happy she's still in my life. And vice versa...

Edited by bananaboat11
HeavenOrHell Established Member

HeavenOrHell

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Posted

Yes they can, and so can boys/men! Well maybe not literally the next day but there can be quick changes of feelings. I think people sometimes want things to be ok or want out of a relationship so maybe are in denial about how they feel and say one thing but do another soon after.

annxxdisaster Established Member

annxxdisaster

Posted
Posted
We are that stupid.

 

I guess so. I let any guy I know that I date that if they stick with me now, later they're gonna have on hell of a sugar momma. :D

 

But noooo.

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

Posted
Posted
Guys are like Houdini.. Ya;; just pull a disappearing act after telling a girl, how much you like them.. Then Poof, your gone. Then Poof your back again after a month, like nothing ever happened.. CrAzY...

 

And YES,, some women are CrAzY!!!!

 

Did you know it was supposed to snow at the beach this weekend? You cant out run it.

 

 

I guess I can't deny that...

 

 

Well, my car is still broken, so no Myrtle Beach this weekend...I'm flying back to DC tomorrow...

annxxdisaster Established Member

annxxdisaster

Posted
Posted
I regret every day I didn't profess my love to her when I had the chance. Now I live with the thought that I may never get that chance... she told me she can't handle any serious relationships right now, but doesn't want to lose me... and I don't want to lose her.

 

she told me after I broke the NC (me being the dumper...) 7 months later... she was so scared I'd never talk to her again. Her parents love me and told her she was stupid and she realized it the moment I was gone.

 

I'm completely ok with her not being mine... (ie, I am fine with her dating other guys etc) ...I'm just happy she's still in my life. And vice versa...

 

 

I could only hope that one day someone actually loves me that much.

bananaboat11 Established Member

bananaboat11

Posted
Posted
I guess so. I let any guy I know that I date that if they stick with me now, later they're gonna have on hell of a sugar momma. :D

 

But noooo.

 

 

hi, I'm rob :D

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