McGrupp Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 its like ive been picking for a kick ball team in 6th grade gym class these last 5 months and ive drafted all the emotions so far. i mean every-single-one. anger, fear, sadness, regret, guilt, anxiety...and theyve all gone up to the plate and had their little moment. and now sitting in the corner is the last kid left, the silent kid, the one you've been trying to ignore by subbing in anger, denial, false hope and others. Acceptance comes to the plate. guess he cant hurt as were down big a huge margin. it feels like giving up but maybe its just walking away with our dignity. might as well put him as nothing else has really worked so far.
Howitzer Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 There you go mcgrupp. You have to put in the work to feel acceptance. Sometimes, it's not enough to just let it come to you. You have to put in the effort to believe in a future.
Author McGrupp Posted February 12, 2010 Author Posted February 12, 2010 i think whats so hard for guys sometimes is the FUTURE. a lot of newbies posts will say we talked about a future x days ago (looking at rings, kids talk, house buying talk, etc.) and for the females who were dumped they rarely say things like that. instead they think more about the actual facts and the everyday stuff and can move on quicker....maybe..but still us guys picture this future with this woman and when its not there we see nothing but bleakness and uncertainty. unfortunately we never realized our fortune was uncertain even with her, she couldve been hit by a bus the next day. we never know. so to think that your future might even be BETTER without her is a decent way to look at things. because it will be. because its really the only option, if you think about it logically (as us guys always do)...
nobmagnet Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Just my ten penny.................It is said that the survival rate of widows after losing their husband in old age is longer than a widower losing his wife. To me you are right. Men seem to find the future bleaker and empty where as women seem to just get on with it because we have to. Nobby xx
Ronni_W Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 It's good to hear that you're putting 'Acceptance' up to bat for you, McG -- sending wishes that you'll be very impressed and pleased with 'his' performance :-) i think whats so hard for guys sometimes is the FUTURE. ... the females who were dumped they rarely say things like that. instead they think more about the actual facts and the everyday stuff and can move on quicker I don't know if, as a general rule, we (women) actually move on any quicker, but I agree that a lot of guys deal with break-ups either by focusing on the future...or the past. Possibly it's that, as a general rule, women are somewhat more comfortable being present to their crappy feelings in the 'now' moment, as well as not feeling ashamed of asking for emotional support when we're feeling crappy. Maybe focusing on the future (or the past) is a coping strategy and a way to avoid actually feeling or having to deal with the crappy emotions in 'real time'? Many, many women also lament the loss of their dreams/vision of the 'future', though -- maybe it's just not the main 'tool' that [we] use to help us cope?
HeavenOrHell Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Which women are you referring to who have moved on quicker? Not me surely, hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! I pictured this future with him, growing old with him and now there's nothing but bleakness and uncertainty! Although sometimes I have hope I will be happy again I've reached the acceptance stage, well most of the time i think whats so hard for guys sometimes is the FUTURE. a lot of newbies posts will say we talked about a future x days ago (looking at rings, kids talk, house buying talk, etc.) and for the females who were dumped they rarely say things like that. instead they think more about the actual facts and the everyday stuff and can move on quicker....maybe..but still us guys picture this future with this woman and when its not there we see nothing but bleakness and uncertainty. unfortunately we never realized our fortune was uncertain even with her, she couldve been hit by a bus the next day. we never know. so to think that your future might even be BETTER without her is a decent way to look at things. because it will be. because its really the only option, if you think about it logically (as us guys always do)...
sunrae Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 i think whats so hard for guys sometimes is the FUTURE. a lot of newbies posts will say we talked about a future x days ago (looking at rings, kids talk, house buying talk, etc.) and for the females who were dumped they rarely say things like that. .. I would day dream, about him proposing, and what we would name our kids, and if I would move into his house or him into mine, what our wedding would be like... I would think about tons of things for the future.. I just wouldnt mention them to him, for fear for freaking him out.
Author McGrupp Posted February 16, 2010 Author Posted February 16, 2010 hes a very good kickball player
acceptance101 Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 ...You called? Sorry I couldn't resist Acceptance isn't a bad thing you know, it's helped me a lot. It's not about running away either, it's actually about looking at the truth. Although it can be hard and painful sometimes, much growth is to be obtained from facing it.
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