trae0809 Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Well you can read the title of this thread. What in the world do I do? I'm engaged to my girlfriend of four years. We've recently been having major issues. Constant fighting, bickering, etc. I met this other woman about six months ago and while I haven't pursued anything, over the last few weeks our friendship has flourished. I know my fiance isn't everything I want in a woman, but I still do love her. On the surface this new woman has every single thing I'm looking for and more. We just seem to mesh well together and I think she's rooting for my relationship to fall apart so she and I can give it a shot. My current relationship is saveable. Sure we've been walking a very fine line, and even the breakup talk has come up, but I can save it if I want to. Only thing is...I'm not sure I want to. I have no idea what to do, and figured that maybe some of you wall would help me out. Anyone? Thanks.
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 End your engagement. Getting married to her at this point would end up being the biggest and probably most expensive mistake of your life, and hers too. In a case like this, honesty is the best policy because it will more than likely set the breakup in stone and allow you both to move on.
Leia Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 If talks of breaking up entered the relationship then might as well just end it to save both the heartaches which might arise later on after the engagement.
seibert253 Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 End your engagement. Getting married to her at this point would end up being the biggest and probably most expensive mistake of your life, and hers too. In a case like this, honesty is the best policy because it will more than likely set the breakup in stone and allow you both to move on. ^^^^^ This right here.
phineas Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 If you really loved your GF & wanted to marry her you wouldn't be having feelings for someone else.
reboot Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 I'm sorry, but the only word that comes to mind is 'Duh'.
Lizzie60 Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Well you can read the title of this thread. What in the world do I do? I'm engaged to my girlfriend of four years. We've recently been having major issues. Constant fighting, bickering, etc. I met this other woman about six months ago and while I haven't pursued anything, over the last few weeks our friendship has flourished. I know my fiance isn't everything I want in a woman, but I still do love her. On the surface this new woman has every single thing I'm looking for and more. We just seem to mesh well together and I think she's rooting for my relationship to fall apart so she and I can give it a shot. My current relationship is saveable. Sure we've been walking a very fine line, and even the breakup talk has come up, but I can save it if I want to. Only thing is...I'm not sure I want to. I have no idea what to do, and figured that maybe some of you wall would help me out. Anyone? Thanks. You're engaged.. not married.. so you can back up and ask for a 'break'... and check the other woman out.. Lots of people..when they're not sure about their feelings.. ask for a break to solve their issues.. go see if the grass is greener... Methink that your fiancé and you.. even if you make it work NOW... are doomed for failure..
Ms. Joolie Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 If you really loved your GF & wanted to marry her you wouldn't be having feelings for someone else. Agree with the above. It's a simple yes/ no answer: Do you love your girlfriend? If yes, you need to re-commit to her. Keep in mind that if you can't keep a commitment of love/through love to her, you are not ready for marriage. If no, you need to end your engagement for the sake of all parties.
Tony T Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Give your fiance a break and spare her from being married to someone who can't make a commitment, who doesn't want to take the time to work things out even when he free admits the relationship is "saveable", and to someone who is open to exploring other relationships even though he's engaged. Not only should you not marry your finance, YOU ARE NOT READY TO BE MARRIED TO ANYBODY WHATSOEVER! You are a danger to any woman who wants a long term relationship. Get out there and have some fun. There will be a time in your future when you feel more settled and you understand that relationships are work and commitment requires that you hang in there and work together on the happiness you share. It's a case of you simply not being ready. And, please understand, NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN LIFE, no matter who you may be seeing, no matter who you may be engaged to, no matter who you may be married to....THERE IS A L W A Y S SOMEBODY BETTER! Yep, you heard me right. There is always somebody better out there for you. If you subscribe to the Better Deal Theory, however, you can go to your grave never having enjoyed a healthy relationship because you were always looking for the better deal. Find someone and work on it. Don't rob yourself of the love you can have from somebody who truly loves you. Don't join all the idiots out there who are looking for perfection. IT DOESN'T EXIST in the current world except that you think it does...in the next person!
bluestraps Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Sorry everyone.... youre geting some bad advice here. Dont just end it . All couples will fight . Why are you fighting Its time to talk like adults and communicate, Can you talk about your issues with out yelling , This is most important you need to listen to eachother remember listening is more important than talking.Listening is a skill that is the hardest to learn . Usualy we think we know it all so we start talking and not listening.Listen dont talk. The opposite for the most part makes us put our foot in our mouths anyway.
bluestraps Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 If the girl is waiting for your relationship to end she doesnt have your best interests at heart, What kind of woman will get in the way like that. You dont know its going to work out, with the new girl and you are probably getting confused more by actualy entertaining the thought of leaving your girlfriend. Besides aroud this time things get boring or you second guess the relationship. Four years is not nothing. I know exactly what you are thinking. Also lets be realistic , we cant know what exactly all the dynamics are in your relationship. So like I said before you need to start communication now .
bluestraps Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Heres what you said . " I know my fiance isn't everything I want in a woman, but I still do love her. On the surface this new woman has every single thing I'm looking for and more."Please elaborate if you can . What are you talking about here ?
on1wheel Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 Advice is what you ask of other people when you already know the answer, but aren't ready to accept it yet. End the relationship now. It's already dead, you 2 just won't admit it. I wish you well.
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