Tayla Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Recently got into a discussion with a fellow co-worker. Boiled down to the following: "Us" men consider our job, our title to determine our worth in the world. I sat and listened to this mans reasonings and actually felt soo sorry if that is how a person measures their self worth by the job. Jobs can come and go, even the achievements made, but ones self worth cannot be measured by the career alone. ...There has got to be other elements for a man to measure his worth by. PLease don't get coy with some physical comment this isn't about that matter. May I ask you follow members, is this guys accessment True or is he missing the mark? If so, what does determine ones self worth?
RobM Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 I agree but it's not men only, I think most of my wife's self worth comes from her career, and it causes problems. Everything in her life seems to revolve around her career and it drives me crazy. I hate that I have to hear about every little thing that happens at her work, almost everyday.
Blackfrost Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Recently got into a discussion with a fellow co-worker. Boiled down to the following: "Us" men consider our job, our title to determine our worth in the world. I sat and listened to this mans reasonings and actually felt soo sorry if that is how a person measures their self worth by the job. Jobs can come and go, even the achievements made, but ones self worth cannot be measured by the career alone. ...There has got to be other elements for a man to measure his worth by. PLease don't get coy with some physical comment this isn't about that matter. May I ask you follow members, is this guys accessment True or is he missing the mark? If so, what does determine ones self worth? How many threads from different women have I seen on this board, that express how they can't date a certain guy (like a plumber) because his job is not something they see as a important (or more bluntly, something they can brag about to everyone and derive their own self worth from). Depending on the culture you grow up in - men are very much judged by their jobs - and this in turn directly reflects upon their self worth.
norajane Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Living up to your own values regarding honesty and ethics; nurturing and excelling at a personal passion, whether it be music or scuba diving or running or carpentry or traveling or whatever; taking care of family, particularly your children; continual learning and education; spiritual pursuits; participating and contributing to a community or society... There are a multitude of things that go into developing self-worth, and they vary for everyone. Focusing on only one thing is limiting and kinda sad if that's the only thing that gives you a sense of accomplishment and worth.
Searchin81 Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 lol im unemployed right now and didnt finish college what does that make myself worth lol ....
Author Tayla Posted February 17, 2010 Author Posted February 17, 2010 lol im unemployed right now and didnt finish college what does that make myself worth lol .... Sorry for the delay in commenting, just got my computer back up and running from a power surge . Searchin81, you are valued because you exist and contribute to things despite the outer circumstances... I agree with Norajane though that various components add to the essence of self worth. Not whether a job title deems self worth. That seems to be my quandry. I can respect folks for who they are and what values they have verses the career.
skydiveaddict Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Idk, if someone doesnt like their job, that will show through. I think the key is to find a job you like (I know, easier said than done)
Trojan John Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 I agree but it's not men only, I think most of my wife's self worth comes from her career, and it causes problems. Everything in her life seems to revolve around her career and it drives me crazy. I hate that I have to hear about every little thing that happens at her work, almost everyday. Same here. Just smile and nod. Smile and nod.
Meaplus3 Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Recently got into a discussion with a fellow co-worker. Boiled down to the following: "Us" men consider our job, our title to determine our worth in the world. I sat and listened to this mans reasonings and actually felt soo sorry if that is how a person measures their self worth by the job. Jobs can come and go, even the achievements made, but ones self worth cannot be measured by the career alone. ...There has got to be other elements for a man to measure his worth by. PLease don't get coy with some physical comment this isn't about that matter. May I ask you follow members, is this guys accessment True or is he missing the mark? If so, what does determine ones self worth? I can see how this could be very true. IMO, most men consider themselves the bread winner.. the go to go guy, the wing man with reagard to supporting their families. But, then again in this day and age.. there are plenty of situations that are of the flip side to that. The women is bread winner.. and the man is more of the stay at home dad. In anycase, IMO there is much more to life then placing ones self worth based solely on their work. Balance is the key. Mea:)
threebyfate Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 I can relate to many men basing a portion of their self-worth on career, since I also feel the same way. It's less what you do but how much you love doing it AND how well you do at it. Almost everyone enjoys the feelings of accomplishment and confidence, whether you basket weave or are a rocket scientist.
TouchedByViolet Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Assuming a guy works full time he would spend roughly one half of his awake time working. This is an important and serious investment of time in a person’s life. You better enjoy what you do otherwise you will be miserable for half of your life. If you are lucky enough to love your job, then you will love at least half of everyday of your life!! Very important. When it comes to relationships (I’m a guy), I feel woman shape their views on me based on my career. This can be a deal breaker regardless of my personality or compatibility. Women treat men with big money and prestigious careers better than a guy with an average career. Luckily, I enjoy my work for the most part. It keeps my life on track and gives me a purpose M-F. Yes some people become workaholics and don't balance their lives but this is an extreme.
Author Tayla Posted February 18, 2010 Author Posted February 18, 2010 I do appreciate some of the view points and life experience to boot on enjoying that which you do. Yes to accomplish challenging things or contributing can create a sense of self worth. To measure ones self as only worthy though for what has been accomplished doesnt click. It took many failures to create the final success. Which holds true on a relationship forum. Does it mean one isnt worthy of love if they failed more then succeeded or didnt in some way turn out wiser for such experiences? I stand by my reasoning said to my being years ago, You are a Human Being, Being kind, Being enjoyable, NOT a HUMAN "DOING". Learn that and you will understand self worth in the real sense. Mea- I was surprised at your answer ( in an intrigueing way)....Thanks for that way of thinking...I forget sometimes folks think Men need to be a certain way socially to be accepted or valued....So glad its fading and Men can find other means to create self worth
Ross PK Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 I think a job wont have anything to do with many mens self worth, it certianly doesn't with me. I think my self worth comes from two things, how I see myself, and how most other people see me.
Jeff1962 Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 Recently got into a discussion with a fellow co-worker. Boiled down to the following: "Us" men consider our job, our title to determine our worth in the world. I sat and listened to this mans reasonings and actually felt soo sorry if that is how a person measures their self worth by the job. Jobs can come and go, even the achievements made, but ones self worth cannot be measured by the career alone. ...There has got to be other elements for a man to measure his worth by. PLease don't get coy with some physical comment this isn't about that matter. May I ask you follow members, is this guys accessment True or is he missing the mark? If so, what does determine ones self worth? It is difficult for men, we are supposed to be strong and hold things inside, not get emotional. We are supposed to be succcessful and providers according to the rules. It is very easy for some men to measure their self worth based on monetary success because they do not know how to value themselves as a person because they simply play by the rules that society has handed out. I even measure myself as a man to a small degree based on how I can provide for my family. It's not pride for me, not ego. I can't explain it. I also know that I am more than my career or money. THey do not make me, I make them.
acceptance101 Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 Recently got into a discussion with a fellow co-worker. Boiled down to the following: "Us" men consider our job, our title to determine our worth in the world. I sat and listened to this mans reasonings and actually felt soo sorry if that is how a person measures their self worth by the job. Jobs can come and go, even the achievements made, but ones self worth cannot be measured by the career alone. ...There has got to be other elements for a man to measure his worth by. PLease don't get coy with some physical comment this isn't about that matter. May I ask you follow members, is this guys accessment True or is he missing the mark? If so, what does determine ones self worth? This reminds me of an audio mp3 I listened to once. I didn't check the rules to see if links were allowed, so forgive me: http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/insights.htm It's the top free mp3 audio, 'not feeling good enough'. However for me personally to answer this question - Yes I think it's sad if a guy only measures his self worth via a job...It makes for a very fragile self esteem, one that can be easily destroyed by situations beyond our control. I openly admit to feeling this way in the past, I wished for success, or anything which would make me feel superior so that I could tell myself 'See! You are worth something...' It was a desperate attempt to allow myself to feel good about myself, because I certainly didn't by default. However now, I do not judge myself. We all go through good times and bad times, I admire the guy who has a job as a cleaner, but is content more than the guy who is rich/successful but is always searching for more validity of his worth. The simple solution is to have no judge of self worth. Simply don't judge at all. Do you think an animal sits around trying to analyze it's self worth? We'll never know, but I doubt it, they just get on with life. We all have potential roles, some require more talent, brains or skill, but all are needed. And if you're not doing anything or contributing anything to society, it doesn't mean you have to sit there feeling inferior. Just be at peace.
threebyfate Posted February 21, 2010 Posted February 21, 2010 I think basing a portion of your self-worth on your career is a good thing. It's much better than being fueled by other people, since your career is defined by you. It should be something you enjoy, are intensely interested in, are passionate about and also, are good at. Achievement and accomplishment are excellent ways to bump up your confidence level. Career is all within your personal control, hence all your own responsibility about how well you do or not. And what better way to achieve and accomplish, while making a decent wage, so it greases the way to a better and more fun lifestyle, where finance isn't a stressor in your life. Looking to other people to value you for who you are, is a losing proposition, since people aren't altruistic. MOST people do things for their own benefit, for personal gain in some way, if only to feel good about themselves.
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