shadylove Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 (edited) Yes, I am giving up on my hunt for a new companion or at least, I'm putting my operations on hold. Before I tell why I am giving up, let me rewind a few months back and tell you the whole story. In mid August 2009, I happened to be in France and the Congo on vacation after I graduated from college. Everything was going fine with my girl before I left. But in the final days of my trip, she started acting funny. I had her facebook password and logged into her account one night and caught a conversation of her and this guy. It was very flirty and I could tell something was up. When I talked to her about it, she denied there was anything and she changed her password. The day after, she started telling me that she needs her space and that she doesn't know what she wants. While I was at the airport in Paris, on my way back to New York, I made her promise me that she wouldn't leave me for this guy and she agreed. I get back home in New York City ( she lives in Buffalo, NY by the way ) paralyzed since I couldn't swallow a single thing on the plane. The day after, she dumps me on the phone; telling me that we should break up for now. I tried to reach her family members to save our relationship but they did nothing. 3 days later, I flew to Tallahassee, Florida to attend Florida State University where I was admitted to Graduate School. I didn't know anyone there. I was lonely as **** and spent the majority of my first nights sleepless. I was still talking to my ex since I had no one else to talk to. The funny thing is that whenever I spoke to her on the phone, she cried. I kept on asking myself why she was crying. She's the one who dumped after all. After a few days, I begged her to tell me the truth and she admitted to having slept with the guy she was talking to on facebook. At that point, my situation went from bad to worse. 2 weeks after her confession, her facebook profile pic was displaying a picture of her and that guy. Therefore, I deleted her number, her relatives's numbers, removed her from my facebook, including her relatives and friends, got rid of all our pictures and finally, I blocked on her facebook. The 4 years I spent with that girl were now history. It was the most brutal breakup I ever encountered. I am only 80 % healed and I will explain to you why I cannot get healed at 100 %. I have been searching for a replacement for as long as I remember. FSU is a paradise of women. Honestly speaking, New York girls have nothing on girls down here. The ratio of girls to guys here is phenomenal. When you see a hot chic walking on campus and don't say a word to her, it's no big deal. You know why ? Because the next day, you will see a hotter one and the day after, an even hotter one. It's an ongoing cycle. But all this is becoming frustrating because I just can't get a girl. I consider myself to be quite handsome. But I am not tall. I'm not the shortest guy neither but I have a genuinely good looking face if anything. I'm not skinny. I dress well ( you gotta have swagger being from New York ), I speak well and get along pretty easily with people. It took me about a month or so to make friends here. Anyway, I have tried everything I could to meet a new girl. I've been to parties, bars and clubs. I even joined student groups. I added some girls on facebook and got phone numbers from some of them. The thing is whenever I try to hang out with them, they come up with excuses over and over. I just recently got a car. Last semester I couldn't move around that much because I relied on people for rides. So I kept telling myself that when I get my car, my options will open up. But I was wrong. Nothing has changed. I still can't win. All these girls' phone numbers I got serve for absolutely nothing. One of the girls I was talking to is now dating some ugly fruitcake. I don't even want to think about it. It just makes me mad that my ex is enjoying herself with her new boyfriend ( who's ugly by the way ) and I am struggling down here when I really shouldn't be. This is so unfair. So what do I do ? Is it just a sign to take a break or give up ? Should I just let things happen naturally ? I just don't know what to do anymore. I want a girl. It's all I need to forget about my ex once and for all. Sorry for the long post. I just had to let it out of my chest. I will listen to your advices. Edited February 12, 2010 by shadylove
The Paper Knight Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Sounds like you have had a bad beat and are trying to fill that painful void left in your heart. Relationships that end because of a cheating partner really do pack a big punch. Unfortunately this void cannot be filled and you need time to find and love yourself again. It may take the rest of the year to heal, depending on how deep this void goes. Run with the wolves again, make some more male friends, take up a new sport, hobby or join the gym. Don't worry about all those sexy babes, you are young have plenty of time to find new love and it always comes when you aren't looking. Hang tough and good luck.
Crazy Magnet Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Maybe they are freaked out by your accent! Ha! Hang in there. Summer is coming, which means shorts weather!!! Start taking trips to the beach, doing outdoor activities. Get you NYC pasty butt tan and then see if that improves your luck. Seriously though, the more numbers you ask for, the more you chances of meeting someone who is also interested in you.
Author shadylove Posted February 12, 2010 Author Posted February 12, 2010 Yeah man, I really hope summer time changes my fortunes. As for asking more numbers, I really don't know because whenever I get shut down, my confidence is damaged. It becomes harder for me to ask for a girl's number since I expect her to act funny when I ask her out. But I guess it doesn't kill to try, right ? 5 years ago I had so much game. It's all gone now. This is what happens when you stay with the same girl for too long.
Author shadylove Posted February 12, 2010 Author Posted February 12, 2010 Hey The Paper Knight, you got it all right man. I should really start focusing on other things for now. Even though it's hard to see these gorgeous girls walking around campus, I have to wait for the moment. I'll take your advice by making new friends, getting involved in more activities and allow myself to heal completely ( without the help of a girl ). I know I won't be alone forever. When the time is right, it will happen. I will try to not stress about it anymore. Thanks for the support.
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