wheelwright Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 How did you get out out of the twighlight? Or do you reconcile to that? Was there an epiphany when you realised your M was the be all and end all? Did you settle? Is settling bad? Is M twighlight phenonema? And what of the beast in a MP? How to overcome? I always thought that I would never have to deal with this kind of moral dilemma. So what if I am married and I fall in love with another?
imagine Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 And what of the beast in a MP? How to overcome? I always thought that I would never have to deal with this kind of moral dilemma. So what if I am married and I fall in love with another? You are geared to fall for another. However marriage is a decision. Despite the existing marital problems it is our undertaking to forgive. Improving both sides of the partnership should be our passion. Trust me, it is sometimes very hard work. Marriage is a great blessing. I married when I was nearly forty. I had established my independence. many friends had determined that I would be a bachelor forever. There are a couple of times that I may regret it, but not for long. I'm married 15 years.
jennie-jennie Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 And there is no hope of reconnecting with the MM? It seems obvious to me that you have moved on emotionally from your marriage and are still in love with your MM. I could be wrong of course.
Spark1111 Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Wheelwright.....your affair is now over? Is your marriage over also? It very well could be. I have felt pain, anger, sadness, relief, joy, passion. But not twilight. There is a stage in the recovery process described as the "level pain of emotional flatness," where you are basically numb and feel...nothing; no lows and no great highs, either. That is normal. Is this where you are now? Could be. Are you in MC or IC yet?
Author wheelwright Posted February 14, 2010 Author Posted February 14, 2010 So few replies, but they said it all. Thank you. I felt understood. I haven't moved on from the original post, but I realise I have to at some point. I am sad right now because of this feeling. I don't know how to move on. Perhaps I have to end the M, which I have clearly found hard to do. I am flat and numb. Find it hard to believe it will go. I have been 7 months NC and all that has changed is the denial bit about xMM coming back has stopped - and that I question my own sanity about having an A in the first place. And that I see my BS as a human being again - and attendant remorse.
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