cartierbenjamin Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 I think I am being blamed for her past situations. I treat with respect and care, but she doesnt want to have anything to do with me. She always says she knows what she wants and knows what she deserves. She says I maker her happy and likes being around me. Everytime we go out I show her a good time, everything is fine, but then says she cant do this anymore and we need to take a break and gets mad at me when I try to kiss her goodbye. It's like an innocent bystander being arrested, becasue some other people robbed the bank. It's not fair at all.
Jesper Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 She's a drama queen. You should have nothing to do with her.
Author cartierbenjamin Posted February 12, 2010 Author Posted February 12, 2010 We've been dealing with each other for about a year, so I think she is/was in to me. I would always do nice things for her like send flowers on a random day, bring her cupcakes to work, buy her things she cherishs like certain shoes that she would appreciate, write encouragement letters about life, plan out different types of date out of the ordinary....she said she knows what she wants and knows what she deserves...but with that phrase more else would you want.
bac Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Did she specify what she wants and deserves? What does she do for you, if she is into you
Author cartierbenjamin Posted February 12, 2010 Author Posted February 12, 2010 She has taken me out a couple of times. Cooked and bought presents. Foreal on the materilistic side she hasnt done much, but emotionally she has been there... Her ex treated her real bad, but he is trying to get back in the picture......maybe thats what she thinks she deserves and wants? Should I just go astray, because the last time I talked to her was not a good situation, she said she need a break from. This is all after going to a play and eating out and drinking...then BOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM?
bac Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 You have right to know what she wants and deserves. You have right to ask her about it. If she wants a break, the best thing is to give her time out. Some people need time out to re-energize themselves especially if they are introverts. She is a girl, so girls are moody all the time because of their hormonal cycles. Sometimes they are depressed, sometimes they are fun.
Author cartierbenjamin Posted February 12, 2010 Author Posted February 12, 2010 You have right to know what she wants and deserves. You have right to ask her about it. If she wants a break, the best thing is to give her time out. Some people need time out to re-energize themselves especially if they are introverts. She is a girl, so girls are moody all the time because of their hormonal cycles. Sometimes they are depressed, sometimes they are fun.[ I always treat her good...She even bragged about it on twitter....She doesn't know I seen it though lol...Since Valentines Days is coming up should I do anything? She seems like she is lonely by some of the stuff she is saying online. Or just go astray...
txsilkysmoothe Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 I think I am being blamed for her past situations. I treat with respect and care, but she doesnt want to have anything to do with me. She always says she knows what she wants and knows what she deserves. She says I maker her happy and likes being around me. Everytime we go out I show her a good time, everything is fine, but then says she cant do this anymore and we need to take a break and gets mad at me when I try to kiss her goodbye. It's like an innocent bystander being arrested, becasue some other people robbed the bank. It's not fair at all. I think she means that she should want you, a good man. But she doesn't. I'm sorry but I don't think she is as interested as she should be after a year. The ex may have something to do with it. He's bad, wrong for her, she knows she deserves better but she wants him.
txsilkysmoothe Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Since Valentines Days is coming up should I do anything? She seems like she is lonely by some of the stuff she is saying online. Or just go astray... She may be lonely but she isn't lonely for YOU! I'm sorry but this girl doesn't have feelings for you. She wanted to and tried which is why she dated you. But she doesn't; that's why she won't let you kiss her and tells you "we can't do this." I suspect the FB stuff she posts is in hopes that the EX will read it. Do not do anything for her on Valentine's day and start looking for someone who will appreciate you and return your feelings.
sagetalk Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 There is one very important thing you must always remember if you want to be a real man. Never treat a women the way she wants to be treated, treat her like you should treat her. If she wants a guy that treats her rotten, then let her go. Many girls love to be abused, lied to, and mistreated by men. They may say they don't like it, but that type of girl just keeps coming back to those types of guys over and over again. All you can do is just walk away. I think what the others have said is right, she doesn't have sexual feelings for you. It's not because you failed, it's more likely because she wants an ex that's bad for her, or likes men that are bad for her in general. It's sad, but it happens all the time. Many women let good men into their lives as friends, but push them away as lovers only to climb into bed with slime. It is a major shortcoming of many women.
paleblue Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 so women just have chips on their shoulders for whatever reason. she obviously has a problem in life. i doubt it is you. i guess the only way you can really deal with that situation is either leave, or be her doormat. but you certainly arent going to be happy trying to change yourself to fit into her expectations - which is more or less equates to you placing your sac in a jar and surrendering your dignity so she can use it to walk all over whenever she is having a bad day. i just had to dump a girl just like yours. she has issues that no one can fix. its what we call "damaged goods" someone in the past burnt her and now she is sour, and now every guy she comes across is suppose to suffer for it. and no amount of respect, treating her nice or pleading with her is going to change that. you just cant change people like this. she gets mad when you try to kiss her?? it shouldnt be like that bro. so do yourself a favor and hit the launch button. you will thank yourself down the road.
bac Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 On Valentines Day, just let her know that you want to get together and that you care for her. Depending on her reaction, do what she wants As a girl, I would love to get together on Valentines Day with a guy because it is fun, gifts and a lot of attention. So, my guess, most girls would want that as well.
Author cartierbenjamin Posted February 12, 2010 Author Posted February 12, 2010 so women just have chips on their shoulders for whatever reason. she obviously has a problem in life. i doubt it is you. i guess the only way you can really deal with that situation is either leave, or be her doormat. but you certainly arent going to be happy trying to change yourself to fit into her expectations - which is more or less equates to you placing your sac in a jar and surrendering your dignity so she can use it to walk all over whenever she is having a bad day. i just had to dump a girl just like yours. she has issues that no one can fix. its what we call "damaged goods" someone in the past burnt her and now she is sour, and now every guy she comes across is suppose to suffer for it. and no amount of respect, treating her nice or pleading with her is going to change that. you just cant change people like this. she gets mad when you try to kiss her?? it shouldnt be like that bro. so do yourself a favor and hit the launch button. you will thank yourself down the road. True....I've been dealing with her for about a year. It was just the last interaction with her is when she didnt want to kiss me. We would always kiss each other goodbye. Even the day before we did. We went out, got drinks and enjoyed ourselves. She asked wher have I been lately. I told her I was being considerate of her time in school and her two jobs she has. We started making out...then I went downstairs to get my clothes we came back upstair making out once again and then she said we cant do this anymore. She seemed furious. I left trying to give her a hug and she gave me a friendly hug:/.....so I tried to give her a kiss goodbye and she said "dont do that" and then "please dont do that"(still furious)....when I heard those words I just walked away...I was so mad, I just had to turn my back and leave. Havent talked to her since.
Author cartierbenjamin Posted February 12, 2010 Author Posted February 12, 2010 After going out after the play and drinks.....she said she liked me a lot and she has been so confused to the point where her mind changes every 5 minutes if she want to be with me or if we should be friends...then she just flipped out for no reason.....
Author cartierbenjamin Posted February 12, 2010 Author Posted February 12, 2010 Watching the Love Jones and basically the same situation, but over a years time
paleblue Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 This just proves my point that it is not you. there is something wrong with her brain. And you can not fix this. you are a gentlemen to her, respectful, treat her the way you would want to be treated and stillll one minute - lets make out, the next - I cant do this –don’t do that. I bet that stung to hear….. feel that sinking feeling welling up??? that is unhappiness. these are all huge red flags. you just cant be happy with someone like this. You are wasting your time. She will never ever come around and I doubt you even have a shot at 50/50. Your life with her is going to be just like it is now and things will not improve. She will not wake up one day and be a different person. I am telling you. liiisten to meeee. I know its hard giving it up. as a guy I totally understand that. girls are cute. We want them. They satisfy better than any candy bar. Its built into us to go after them. I myself know in the past I have put up with wayyyy more than I should have ever let myself put up with - just for that. We’ve all done it. But there comes a point where the ridiculousness of “her” out weights the benefit. Id start looking for a replacement asap. Then dump her. you either dump her, or she is going to dump you at some point.
paddington bear Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 This is a sad story. And she does sound unbalanced and she's not being fair on you. In my experience when people say they are 'confused' about their feelings for you, their brains and hearts are concerned with someone else, in her case I imagine that it's the ex that treated her badly. Generally this type of behaviour doesn't happen just because she's dissatisfied, if that was the case there wouldn't be the confusion, she would straight out tell you why she's unhappy or what you're doing wrong etc. Another point is that no matter how many times I've heard people talk about how their ex treated them badly, many of them either go back to that ex, or find someone else who treats them the same way. Logically, you would think that as someone who treats her well, that you would come out a winner, but some people are addicted to being abused, and if not that, well then 'solving' whatever issues were in that relationship, 'maybe now he's changed' type of thinking. Addicted to being treated badly. But treating you badly while 'deciding'. Maybe I'm an idiot but I'd never start saying 'hum haw can't make my mind up whether I want you as a friend or not' - it's basically saying, 'please hang around treating me well, while I treat you badly and hurt you while I make my mind up, with no guarantees that I'll choose you in the end'. After the not taking the kiss incident, I would not shower her with Valentine's gifts. She doesn't deserve any more decent, normal behaviour from you, if she can't behave appropriately with you within a relationship.
Author cartierbenjamin Posted February 13, 2010 Author Posted February 13, 2010 This is a sad story. And she does sound unbalanced and she's not being fair on you. In my experience when people say they are 'confused' about their feelings for you, their brains and hearts are concerned with someone else, in her case I imagine that it's the ex that treated her badly. Generally this type of behaviour doesn't happen just because she's dissatisfied, if that was the case there wouldn't be the confusion, she would straight out tell you why she's unhappy or what you're doing wrong etc. Another point is that no matter how many times I've heard people talk about how their ex treated them badly, many of them either go back to that ex, or find someone else who treats them the same way. Logically, you would think that as someone who treats her well, that you would come out a winner, but some people are addicted to being abused, and if not that, well then 'solving' whatever issues were in that relationship, 'maybe now he's changed' type of thinking. Addicted to being treated badly. But treating you badly while 'deciding'. Maybe I'm an idiot but I'd never start saying 'hum haw can't make my mind up whether I want you as a friend or not' - it's basically saying, 'please hang around treating me well, while I treat you badly and hurt you while I make my mind up, with no guarantees that I'll choose you in the end'. After the not taking the kiss incident, I would not shower her with Valentine's gifts. She doesn't deserve any more decent, normal behaviour from you, if she can't behave appropriately with you within a relationship. Yea and the sad thing about it is she told me before....You cant hold your past situations onto you currents. Also what made me angry inside, but I kept my composure was when she said with all my ex's we are always arguing, but with you everything is so fine... Like for me to hear that, but your acting a certain way...is crazy...then you say to the world you know what you want and know what you deserve. I hope the time away that she has thrown me away a genuniely good guy will make her realize what she left.
Author cartierbenjamin Posted February 13, 2010 Author Posted February 13, 2010 Responses with her saying her nonexistent valentine would be happy, but maybe next year.....thats crazy too me.....In thought Im like you dont see who has been here for you since the day he met you. Always try to make situtations easier for you if he could and always wanted to see you smile...that right there is messed up. What was I doing these things for. The title of a Valentine doesnt mean anything to me...moreso not getting the noriety if I mean anything to you.
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