Types of men and Flowers

[Jesper]

Mostly this is a question for men, but of course women can answer also based on their experiences.

 

I'm wondering how often men give their SOs (not dates, but people they are in relationships with) flowers, and under what circumstances they do this.

 

Also wondering if women think certain types of men are more likely to give flowers to their SOs than other types?

 

Thinking back on some of my relationships:

• Current SO, dating about 2 years: has gotten me flowers once, as a thank you
  
• Another bf, dating nearly 5 years: got me flowers ALL THE TIME: for bdays, Valentine's, apologies, just because, sympathy flowers when my dog died, every time we had a "special" date, anniversaries, etc.
  
• Another bf, dating 9 months: got me flowers once, as a "just because I'm thinking about you"
  
• One bf, dating 1 year: Valentine's, and apologies
  

 

I could definitely reflect on what "type" of guy each of these bfs were, but am going to wait to see if other people respond first.

[Star Gazer]

BF gives/sends me flowers for special occasions (birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine's) as well as a couple "just because" times (like, when he goes away on a trip, he'll send me flowers while he's gone).

 

He's never sent me apology flowers, but then again, he hasn't had to.

[CLC2008]

Mostly this is a question for men, but of course women can answer also based on their experiences.

 

I'm wondering how often men give their SOs (not dates, but people they are in relationships with) flowers, and under what circumstances they do this.

 

Also wondering if women think certain types of men are more likely to give flowers to their SOs than other types?

 

 

Thinking back on some of my relationships:

• Current SO, dating about 2 years: has gotten me flowers once, as a thank you
  
• Another bf, dating nearly 5 years: got me flowers ALL THE TIME: for bdays, Valentine's, apologies, just because, sympathy flowers when my dog died, every time we had a "special" date, anniversaries, etc.
  
• Another bf, dating 9 months: got me flowers once, as a "just because I'm thinking about you"
  
• One bf, dating 1 year: Valentine's, and apologies
  

I could definitely reflect on what "type" of guy each of these bfs were, but am going to wait to see if other people respond first.

 

This is interesting. Ex used to send me flowers ALL the time...That no good bum, it all makes perfect sense now.

[OnlyJake]

In general, the men I've dated who got me flowers for things such as:

• special occasions (birthdays, Valentine's anniversaries)
  
• apologies
  
• "Just because"
  
• on dates
  
• in other words, fairly regularly
  

were pretty traditional, had excellent manners, etc.

 

The men I've dated who rarely or never got me flowers; or rarely got me flowers, and on the one or few occasion(s) he did get me flowers wasn't a traditional time (for example, Valentine's Day) were generally self-absorbed, and "lazy" daters. Not to say that they didn't have other good qualities.

 

At least one of the men I dated who was "traditional" and regularly gave me flowers definitely had a lot of flaws to make up for.

[Jesper]

BF gives/sends me flowers for special occasions (birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine's) as well as a couple "just because" times (like, when he goes away on a trip, he'll send me flowers while he's gone).

 

He's never sent me apology flowers, but then again, he hasn't had to.

Any comments on what type of guy your bf is? (He sounds like a good one.)

This is interesting. Ex used to send me flowers ALL the time...That no good bum, it all makes perfect sense now.

What do you mean!!?? What kind of guy was he/what did he do? Sending flowers was a way of making up for something?

[Eeyore79]

If you want flowers more often, convince your boyfriend that you really like the cheaper varieties. For example "I don't know why carnations get such a bad rap - I know they're inexpensive but they're really pretty, they're my favourite". Et voila, you will be drowning in bunches of carnations! If, on the other hand, he thinks you like more expensive flowers such as roses, be prepared to only receive them on special occasions.

[Jesper]

If you want flowers more often, convince your boyfriend that you really like the cheaper varieties. For example "I don't know why carnations get such a bad rap - I know they're inexpensive but they're really pretty, they're my favourite". Et voila, you will be drowning in bunches of carnations! If, on the other hand, he thinks you like more expensive flowers such as roses, be prepared to only receive them on special occasions.

Thank you, but my question didn't have anything to do with wishing my bf gave me flowers more often

[carhill]

It'll take a helluva woman to get my flower garden planted again. Did it for too many years with zippity do da appreciation for that and other romantic gestures. 'I feel unappreciated' was an apt descriptor of that period. I make arrangements for myself now. The simplest way to describe the dynamic is my stbx asked me to dig up the tree roses and take them to her new house. I did, just to get rid of the memories *plonk*

 

Hope you get more informative answers

[CLC2008]

What do you mean!!?? What kind of guy was he/what did he do? Sending flowers was a way of making up for something?

 

He had a lot of great qualities, but the bad qualities won out in the end. My first clue should have been when I first met him, and he jokingly said "can you go get my shoes".

[Eeyore79]

Thank you, but my question didn't have anything to do with wishing my bf gave me flowers more often

If I only got flowers for Valentines and apologies, I would sure as hell be looking for a way to get them more often

[meerkat stew]

Don't know if there is a type of man associated with flowers, but do know that I love to give flowers, enjoy having living plants and beautiful flowers around the house myself, but rarely give them any more. I found that women either over-respond to them or under- respond and overthink the motives. They are just flowers, not always some massive gesture. Not a manipulation, cover up, power and control, or supplicating method. They don't have to "say" anything, just brighten up the household. Maybe men who women date in the past before we date have conditioned them to respond this way somehow.

 

If I happened to be dating a woman who took them in this simple way, as opposed to there always having to be some ulterior motive or "meaning," I'd give them more. Would love to meet a woman who said, "Thank you very much, they are lovely," and left it at that.

[Eeyore79]

To answer your question: the type of guy who gives flowers most often is either a)the guy with money to burn, or b)the guy who has realised that buying flowers is definitely worth his while. Rewarding your man with... erm... *favours* for bringing you flowers will encourage him to become one of the latter type

[Crazy Magnet]

I hate nothing more than apology flowers. I want to cram them up the guy's BUTT!

 

The guys who did this seemed to think they could gloss over their indiscretion by throwing pretty things at me. It never worked.

 

Disclaimer: Crazy Girl Story

 

I once got "I'm sorry I cheated on you flowers" and I literally opened my door and threw the flowers out in the driveway as soon as he handed them to me. Sorry, no flower is going to make up for that.

 

I prefer the men who randomly bring me flowers which are not tied to any specific day or thing. They are a great way to say "Hey, I'm thinking about you." The current BF seems to be that type as those are the types of flowers I have received.

[alphamale]

flowers are expensive

[Citizen Erased]

My ex rarely got them for me, my last birthday he did which was really sweet. The 5 years we were together I probably got them 5 times?

 

He was lucky I'm not the buy me pretty things or my love is gone type.

[Eeyore79]

flowers are expensive

Carnations aren't expensive, hence why I get flowers all the time, because my favourite flowers are dirt cheap It's worth his while to bring me £5 worth of flowers if he gets laid.

[Jesper]

If I only got flowers for Valentines and apologies, I would sure as hell be looking for a way to get them more often

 

How about the bf of 2 years who only got me flowers once, as a thank you??

[Jesper]

 

I prefer the men who randomly bring me flowers which are not tied to any specific day or thing. They are a great way to say "Hey, I'm thinking about you."

 

I would agree with this. Do you have any comments on what type of guy (or maybe not the guy himself, but how he feels about you) would make this type of gesture?

[Eeyore79]

The guy who genuinely loves you and wants to make you happy brings you flowers for absolutely no reason. Sometimes they just need a poke in the right direction to understand that this is required of them

[Jesper]

I'm not making a comment on which man is/was a better boyfriend, but as a "for example" (and hoping others start chiming in on this topic as well):

 

Boyfriend of 5-ish years (ages 19-24):

• gave flowers for all occasions (special occasions, holidays, sympathy, apology, just because, etc.)
  
• very thoughtful and attentive
  
• often gave small, inexpensive gifts that made him think of me/that he knew I would like/etc.
  
• excellent manners in every way (opened the car door, helped me walk in heels, walked on the street side, in addition to other types of manners, like table manners)
  
• asked me out on dates, more traditional/typical "dating" pattern
  

 

Boyfriend of 2-ish years (ages 31-33):

• gave me flowers once (as a thank you) so far
  
• very forgetful, not detail-oriented, not attentive
  
• never gives small gifts, and only gives gifts on Christmas; my birthday is just another day (his birthday he views quite differently)
  
• doesn't have good manners (walks ahead of me, not with me, has opened a car door once ever for me, texts on dates when we're going to dinner or at the movies, orders before me at dinner, etc.)
  
• never asked me out on a date; we "hung out" and hooked up and partied a lot instead
  

 

Of course the first bf had bad qualities and the second bf has good qualities not mentioned.

[Stung]

My husband only EVER gets me 'just because' flowers, as he is against buying flowers because he feels he has to on principle . He usually gets me experiences for things like my birthday, like weekends away or a wine tasting tour or salsa lessons, which is awesome in my book and way better than flowers. He tends to get me flowers maybe five or six times a year usually if I'm feeling a bit down or if he's in a great mood. He got me my favorite flowers on the day I told him for sure I was pregnant, now that was memorable and I truly loved that .

 

My H doesn't really believe in Valentine's day and I've never been a huge stickler by it either but we do tend to go out to dinner or something on the day, this year we're going away for the weekend but he didn't realize it was Valentine's weekend until it was already booked .

 

I would hate it if he got me apology flowers, I think.

[Stung]

How about the bf of 2 years who only got me flowers once, as a thank you??

 

I once had a bf who gave me the dried dead flowers he still had in his garage that his exgf had given him once, for my Valentines Day gift! :lmao:

 

What a maroon!

[Eeyore79]

I'm not making a comment on which man is/was a better boyfriend, but as a "for example" (and hoping others start chiming in on this topic as well):

 

Boyfriend of 5-ish years (ages 19-24):

• gave flowers for all occasions (special occasions, holidays, sympathy, apology, just because, etc.)
  
• very thoughtful and attentive
  
• often gave small, inexpensive gifts that made him think of me/that he knew I would like/etc.
  
• excellent manners in every way (opened the car door, helped me walk in heels, walked on the street side, in addition to other types of manners, like table manners)
  
• asked me out on dates, more traditional/typical "dating" pattern
  

 

Boyfriend of 2-ish years (ages 31-33):

• gave me flowers once (as a thank you) so far
  
• very forgetful, not detail-oriented, not attentive
  
• never gives small gifts, and only gives gifts on Christmas; my birthday is just another day (his birthday he views quite differently)
  
• doesn't have good manners (walks ahead of me, not with me, has opened a car door once ever for me, texts on dates when we're going to dinner or at the movies, orders before me at dinner, etc.)
  
• never asked me out on a date; we "hung out" and hooked up and partied a lot instead
  

 

Of course the first bf had bad qualities and the second bf has good qualities not mentioned.

 

My immediate assumption would be that Boyfriend #1 was the better boyfriend, simply because he was more thoughtful and well mannered. Boyfriend #2 sounds like a bit of an inconsiderate jerk. Even worse is the fact that Boyfriend #1 was with you at a younger age yet he still treated you better, while Boyfriend #2 was with you at an age by which he really should have learned how to treat women properly and be able to afford flowers, and yet he still acted like a jerk.

[Eeyore79]

I once had a bf who gave me the dried dead flowers he still had in his garage that his exgf had given him once, for my Valentines Day gift! :lmao:

 

What a maroon!

 

OMG

I assume he told you where the flowers came from too? He must have done! What a rubbish boyfriend! That is the worst V-Day story I ever heard

[Crazy Magnet]

I would agree with this. Do you have any comments on what type of guy (or maybe not the guy himself, but how he feels about you) would make this type of gesture?

 

The guy who randomly brings me a flower are usually the kind of guys who don't want cookie for treating a woman the right way. They actually respect their girlfriends and treat them as they ought to be treated and don't expect some sort of prize in return.