Author BookerT Posted February 12, 2010 Author Posted February 12, 2010 (edited) Can I just remind everyone that the OP said her response was : 'What?' Er...not sure how this means chivalry is dead. If you were getting a cab home anyway, and people happen to be on your way, what's wrong with paying the whole bill (which you would have paid anyway). She's not his GF, just a friend. No it wasn't "what?" It was "What?!" Notice the exclaimation mark. She raised her voice like I offended her. But no, I wasn't romantically interested! I was just being nice to some girl I just met. I didn't flirt with her at all, all night. Also, come on I didn't bitch or rant in front of her. I just said "ok cool, thanks! Was nice to meet you" and got out the cab. I'm just having a civil discussion here with you guys. Amazing you're started to add stuff to the story like I liked her without me saying anything in the OP. haha. Edited February 12, 2010 by BookerT
silverfish Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 No it wasn't "what?" It was "What?!" Notice the exclaimation mark. She raised her voice like I offended her. But no, I wasn't romantically interested! I was just being nice to some girl I just met. Well she already got across that she was paying it, when your friend got out of the cab. So maybe she was just being nice to some boy, and was offended because you tried to turn it into something more, instead of just saying 'thanks'. I'm assuming you thanked her?
Author BookerT Posted February 12, 2010 Author Posted February 12, 2010 Well she already got across that she was paying it, when your friend got out of the cab. So maybe she was just being nice to some boy, and was offended because you tried to turn it into something more, instead of just saying 'thanks'. I'm assuming you thanked her? Read my edit.......
silverfish Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Read my edit....... Well good on you for thanking her, but I don't understand why you think chivalry is dead then, sounds then like you are both sensible people (barring your rant here of course), and she's not the kind of person that you would need to read so much into...seems pretty straightforward to me
Twenty-ten Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Well good on you for thanking her, but I don't understand why you think chivalry is dead then, sounds then like you are both sensible people (barring your rant here of course), and she's not the kind of person that you would need to read so much into...seems pretty straightforward to me He is saying chivalry is dead because of her reaction, it was a bit much considering what the "offense" was.
silverfish Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 He is saying chivalry is dead because of her reaction, it was a bit much considering what the "offense" was. What was she supposed to do then, considering in her mind, she'd already said she was picking up the cab bill. I don't see how it was chivalrous, actually, to put her in the position again of politely refusing, again (how dull) a contribution that she'd already refused from his friend, and then adding the stuff about it making him feel bad, that's bad manners. The OP is the only one making an 'offence' out of this by then declaring that chivalry is dead.... I doubt she's losing sleep over this.
Twenty-ten Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Did we even read the same OP Silverfish? Now you are just twisting things around. The OP had JUST met this girl that night, his guy friend who KNEW the girl got out first and offered to pay and she said no don't be silly to him (they knew each other they have a built rapport already) what was the OP supposed to do act as if he assumed she would also pay for his part of the cab fare? That would SO tacky! He did the right thing ANYONE with manners would do, he offered to pay and said you shouldn't have to pay for everyone. What does the insecure little girl do? She gets offended rather than saying naaah don't worry about it, I got it nice meeting you (smile) How is this a poor act on the OP's part? If I was in a cab with a semi stranger I would offer to pay too I don't care if they said to my mutual friend no it's ok I would still offer my way. He shouldn't have to pay for me just because he paid for my girl friend who also happens to know him, that is a HUGE assumption on my part from a guy who is not even a romantic interest. Now THAT would be rude. She isn't losing any sleep over this but it is situations like these, that are making our society more confused and miserable.
silverfish Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Did we even read the same OP Silverfish? Now you are just twisting things around. The OP had JUST met this girl that night, his guy friend who KNEW the girl got out first and offered to pay and she said no don't be silly to him (they knew each other they have a built rapport already) what was the OP supposed to do act as if he assumed she would also pay for his part of the cab fare? That would SO tacky! He did the right thing ANYONE with manners would do, he offered to pay and said you shouldn't have to pay for everyone. What does the insecure little girl do? She gets offended rather than saying naaah don't worry about it, I got it nice meeting you (smile) How is this a poor act on the OP's part? If I was in a cab with a semi stranger I would offer to pay too I don't care if they said to my mutual friend no it's ok I would still offer my way. He shouldn't have to pay for me just because he paid for my girl friend who also happens to know him, that is a HUGE assumption on my part from a guy who is not even a romantic interest. Now THAT would be rude. She isn't losing any sleep over this but it is situations like these, that are making our society more confused and miserable. Grrrrrrr.......As we're making up our own agendas here, I'll add my own. He said you shouldn't have to pay for the men, because you're the little princess, and I want to big myself up by patronising you with my five bucks, even though I don't know you at all / never met you before, and you've already offered to pay once...I'll just push the point once again to prove that I'm the man here, in case you didn't notice that I am a man and that's WHAT WE DO..... Sorry OP, sure you're not as bad as this, and please don't lose your manners or capacity for kindness to other people as a result of this minor incident with an aquaintance who happened to be female
txsilkysmoothe Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Yes but the point being women complain men no longer do kind things that are blatantly things men used to do for women. Like open doors for a woman. What? Is the woman crippled? Of course not, she can open the door herself. But it's meant to be or used to mean a gesture of respect coming from a gentleman. Now you even bring up stuff like that and some women flip out, whilst other women complain men are a holes now. So really, what do women want? It's like some feminism related insecurity. I love when men open doors for me and where I live it is still quite common. I always express my appreciation. It's a good way for a guy to get a woman's attention, too. I open doors for the elderly or anyone who appears to need assistance. It's a great way to spread kindness.
Author BookerT Posted February 12, 2010 Author Posted February 12, 2010 Err, I was just trying to start a civil debate. Please everyone calm down. In my own defense however I wouldn't say what I wrote was a rant, and it's not like I'm calling this girl up in the middle of the night telling her what I think.
counterman Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 I think what you did was fine. You were being a gentleman. I opened the door once for a girl friend of mine, as I would for anyone else, and she said to me "it's okay - it's not like I cannot open the door for myself". It was only that one time as well! That has not stopped me from doing it.
soulm8 Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 I actually get a real kick out of holding doors open for guys. I'll hold doors for anyone - if I'm there first or someone has something in their hands... I just view it as having frickin manners. However, almost any time I do this to a man (not elderly), he looks completely surprised and as if I've made his day! Are women really *that* obnoxious these days that being polite and smiling is a shock?!
Woggle Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 : Are women really *that* obnoxious these days that being polite and smiling is a shock?! Pretty much. When a woman in nice to me I wonder what her motive is and what she wants from me.
Barky Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Then I said "Oh come on, it's not right for a girl to pick up the tab for two guys......" Way to set back men a generation! Yeesh, why pay when she'll pay? I love it when women pay for me, I'm no sugar daddy.
Els Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 I agree this is definitely part of the problem of what has killed chivalry, women reacting just as you described in the OP. Women acting like you had called their mother some horrible name or something. It is typically insecure women who react like this, they feel they need to overtly assert their independence. I sat at a nice restaurant once and a man went to pull the seat for a woman to sit down (they seemed like they were on a first date) and she totally snapped "I am not handicapped I can do this myself thanks" What a classless LOSER! Oh well, thank goodness there are still guys out there who don't let this get to them. Next time don't insist, if she wants to pay for a whole cab when three people are sharing then let her, no skin off your back right? I totally agree with this post. The girl was just rude - unless what she really said was 'What?! *laughs*' and the OP completely misconstrued it. A decent response is 'Nah it's fine, really', or anything along those lines.
Trojan John Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 I think what you did was fine. You were being a gentleman. I opened the door once for a girl friend of mine, as I would for anyone else, and she said to me "it's okay - it's not like I cannot open the door for myself". It was only that one time as well! That has not stopped me from doing it. Right. You don't stop doing chivalrous acts because one person doesn't appreciate it, you just stop doing it for that one person.
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