Tragedi67 Posted January 4, 2004 Posted January 4, 2004 Hello all, hope your christmas wasn't as screwed as mine was. Well first of all my divorce is final, and a guy i had been seeing/being intimate with since sept decided to break up with me the day before Xmas eve. So I spend xmas alone....a couple days later I went to his house to hang out, I asked him why he hadn't called me and he says he wasn't trying to be rude when he has guests at his house. I again thought it was all talked out until New Years....i hadn't heard from him since new years eve.....i had been calling him about a dozen times and leaving text msgs on his phone. when i finally saw him on yahoo im.... he said he'd lost his phone. and that we needed to talk. Well the talk in not so many words was him saying that i should go out be single, go clubbing and just have fun. He couldn't see why i liked him so much. He did everything for my self-esteem as far as complimenting me and such. I miss him soo much. I went to his apt unannounced last night to get aring that i had bought for him, he just looked at me like he didn't even care and said you know how i feel about people just showing up.....so he gives me the ring walks me out to my car and hugs me goodbye.....I cried and told him please don't let this go.....i also emailed him.....I'm just so bummed cause now i've been hurt twice in the past year.........
DerangedAngel Posted January 4, 2004 Posted January 4, 2004 You failed to mention why he was breaking up with you. Did he even say? I know this is probably not what you want to hear, but it looks like he has lost interest in your relationship, at least for the time being. I know it hurts to let go of those we care about. However, if you love him and respect his wishes, you will let him be. It seems you have made it clear that you still want to be with him. Its up to him now. The more you call, email, text, etc... the more you will push him away. For now, do as he suggested. Go out and have some fun. -Deranged
Author Tragedi67 Posted January 4, 2004 Author Posted January 4, 2004 My bf left me because I have alot of male friends and a couple asked me to go out with them sometime just a a friendly get together. When I asked my bf he got all pissed and said "go, go to the club with your little bfs". Then he sat and let himself dwell on it. His ex left him cause she cheated on him with another guy who she said was just a friend, so I think he has this insecurity about women having male friends. Plus he said you haven't had enough time to get over your ex husband yet. I signed divorce papers a month ago. But I really cared for this guy and now I guess I'll never hear from him again.......
DerangedAngel Posted January 4, 2004 Posted January 4, 2004 But I really cared for this guy and now I guess I'll never hear from him again....... You don't know this for sure. If I were you, I would make one last attempt to contact him (maybe a letter?) and tell him how you feel. Also, you could maybe apologize for going out with male friends when he wasn't around and making him feel hurt and uncomfortable - that is, if you're sorry about it. If he wants to be with you after that, he'll make the effort. Otherwise, leave him alone. -Deranged
dyermaker Posted January 4, 2004 Posted January 4, 2004 Just to keep it short and sweet, your boyfriend broke up with you so that HE could be single, you being single was a byproduct of that.
UCFKevin Posted January 4, 2004 Posted January 4, 2004 Guys, well that is some guys, including me, have a problem with girls having a lot of guy friends. See, here's how it is. Straight up. Plain and simple. The God's honest truth. No matter WHAT the guy friend says to her, they do NOT want to be platonic. They want to be with the girl. They want to have sex with the girl. Guys can't be JUST FRIENDS with girls. It's impossible. It's in When Harry Met Sally. Girls can be JUST FRIENDS with guys, but not vice versa. As guys, we know this. Therefore, it's hard to trust a girl with a lot of platonic guy friends, ESPECIALLY if there's any kind of history between them. I lost my ex and she immediately started going out with a guy who she told me was JUST a friend and was totally platonic and she wasn't attracted to him at all. That clearly changed, either that or she lied. When the girl goes out with the group of guys, how the hell can we not think bad things? Regardless of how much we trust the girl? Because we DONT trust the guys.
befuddled11 Posted January 5, 2004 Posted January 5, 2004 I'm just curious...this guy breaks up with you 2 days before Xmas....and you end up having to spend Xmas alone, so then why did you show up at his house (uninvited) a couple of days later to "hang out"? I don't mean to be blunt but when someone breaks up with you, it appears kind of desperate and clingy if you invite yourself over to their house shortly after they've broken up with you. And why all the phone calls and emails and text msg's? you don't want him to think you're psycho, do you? Nobody likes to be chased. Nobody likes an ex to just come over to their house unannounced/uninvited. How long were you with him? What are your ages? Why the rush to be involved with someone new when your divorce papers are barely signed?
Girlie Posted January 5, 2004 Posted January 5, 2004 Hon, I wouldn't even try contacting him again. It sounds like you were going through a rough time and found someone who made you feel good and clung to him. But you don't need someone else to make you feel good. You've got to make yourself feel good or that "feeling good" will never last. As for why he broke up with you, I don't want to sound harsh, but it sounds like pathetic excuses to me. You do not need to be with someone who would leave you by yourself during the holidays.Ugh. I know it's hard to move on, doll, but that's what I would try to do. Constantly emailing and or calling is probably not going to win him back at this point, and you dont' need to do that. Hang in there!!
XNemesisX Posted January 13, 2004 Posted January 13, 2004 I think that he is being sarcastic and showing his resentment toward your having male friends by saying these things. Like in other words "since you can't seem to quit hanging out with other guys then why don't you just be single!" Maybe his way of "punishing" you or seeing if you will agree to stop hanging out with these other guys without actually coming right out and saying it.
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