Wicked Child Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 After hashing things out with this guy I've been seeing, he tells me "If you need someone to be there for you all the time, I can't do that right now, and I understand if you can't do that." Ok, I was appreciative of his honesty, and respected that he was open about his feelings. So the other day he says "I'm taking you out tomorrow." Which would have been Tuesday...Never happened. Then he says "I'm free every day after 5, if you would like to do something another day." That just totally goes against what he's been telling me the whole time. I think I'm about done with this....I mean, I don't think he has any business looking for a relationship if he doesn't have the time or want to make the time for one... That's just retarded. I almost want to call and ask him why he's wasting my time...
xpaperxcutx Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 He's using you as a time filler until he actually finds a girl that he wants to date. If you think he's disrespecting you ( which he is) you would tell him that you're busy and that if you have time, you would give him a call. If anything, make him the backburner as he has done you. Find someone who's more than willing to pursue a relationship with you.
Silver_star Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Im gonna just take a stab at this because i have a guy friend who just 4 months ago got out of his first long term relationship. He told me he was looking for someone so he could just get laid, and that he would be honest with them when the time came that he wasnt wanting to be anything more and that he wasnt emotionally available. So he went out and met a girl at a party, and they ended up talking all night and hooking up. He told me he told her that he was not looking for more, and she was "okay" with that. But since that night he has been texting her and wanting to take her out, and she is wishy washy because of the mixed signals. My conclusion is maybe this guy was in a messed relationship prior and he wasnt sure if he was completely over it, but is now liking the feeling of communicating with you. Im not saying he is now over whatever the issues he had in the past were...but maybe hes seeing where it goes. You can always try being direct with him and asking him if he is changing his mind about things. He might just be shredding water to see how it feels to be with you.
Author Wicked Child Posted February 11, 2010 Author Posted February 11, 2010 I've been trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I'm really just starting to lose interest. It's been over a month since I've seen him, and I 'm not really ok with that. Not to mention, he hasn't made the effort to come see me at all...And it's not like we live far from each other... I think he's just a cassanova, really. Guys like these make me want to get real arrogant about myself...I don't have a problem finding a date at all, and I'll usually collect a couple unwarranted numbers when I 'm out..I just have a problem finding the type of date I want. And I told him that I could get a date with no problems, so if I'm gonna limit myself to him, he has to make it worth my time... Anyways, I have a date with a much more promising (and better looking) individual on Saturday. And it's not at a BAR! Besides, when I bring up the fact that he doesn't come out here, and put in the same effort I do, he just kinda dismisses it....Which my ex did alot, so I've already kinda put him in a box.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Im gonna just take a stab at this because i have a guy friend who just 4 months ago got out of his first long term relationship. He told me he was looking for someone so he could just get laid, and that he would be honest with them when the time came that he wasnt wanting to be anything more and that he wasnt emotionally available. So he went out and met a girl at a party, and they ended up talking all night and hooking up. He told me he told her that he was not looking for more, and she was "okay" with that. But since that night he has been texting her and wanting to take her out, and she is wishy washy because of the mixed signals. My conclusion is maybe this guy was in a messed relationship prior and he wasnt sure if he was completely over it, but is now liking the feeling of communicating with you. Im not saying he is now over whatever the issues he had in the past were...but maybe hes seeing where it goes. You can always try being direct with him and asking him if he is changing his mind about things. He might just be shredding water to see how it feels to be with you. The bolded could be possible but since the guy is honest to the OP, I doubt the OP would want to stick around to " change" his mind.
A O Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 It's been over a month since I've seen him, and I 'm not really ok with that. Clearly you're not over him which is a shame because he's definitely over you. .
Author Wicked Child Posted February 11, 2010 Author Posted February 11, 2010 Over it, but just kinda like wtf? Why is it so hard for people to place their actions and words together, yanno? Better yet, why BS me when there is clearly no need?
A O Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Why is it so hard for people to place their actions and words together, yanno? At a guess, I'd say you were the "good for now" person, a convenience to be kept on tap until something better comes along. Better yet, why BS me when there is clearly no need?This happens to a lot of people, if not all of us at some point in time. You know the magic elixir - actions speak louder than words - now live by em. And try not to be that person yourself! .
Author Wicked Child Posted February 11, 2010 Author Posted February 11, 2010 Yeah, I know. I guess I'm just ticked that no matter how honest and up front I am, people are still deceiving... I can handle alot, and I don't get mad or offended easily. When I'm straightforward, people either don't take me seriously, or they get offended...As for me, I let my actions do the talking all the time, and reciprocity is few and far between. Wish me luck with the next one here...we seem to share the same ideals about that.
A O Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 When I'm straightforward, people either don't take me seriously, or they get offended. I think you're walking in the wrong circles or otherwise putting out some sort of vibe that negates what is otherwise an attractive trait to most people. Wish me luck with the next one here...we seem to share the same ideals about that.Know what you want in a person and be prepared to compromise or drop them according to how important each want is. A person who basically talks trash is more of a sign to walk away than something that should annoy you. .
Silver_star Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 If you dont want to stick around to find out and your tired of waiting. Then dont wait, dont stick around. From what i understand you are in no obligation to, so if you want to move on adn away from him...do it. If he texts you again in the future ignore it. But if you like him, and your not in a big hurry for a relationship either, whats the big deal? Are you in a big hurry to be in a relationship?
D-Lish Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 We all know that when someone is really into us, they will move mountains to spend time with us. This guy just isn't giving you enough. He certainly isn't giving you the kind of attention and respect you deserve. His words and his actions are not indicative of someone that is ready to get serious. He's basically said he's available to give you scraps, and no one should settle for that. I'm glad you are getting out there and dating others.
bac Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 He is using a seduction technique called 'No more nice guy'.
meerkat stew Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Sorry you have had to deal with this. He's not quality, move on from this one or he will end up driving you crazy. Nothing is worth spending precious time with contradictory, inconsistent people.
counterman Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 He is using a seduction technique called 'No more nice guy'. Is that what it's called? Yes, just don't bother with this guy. You definitely do not want scraps from him or anyone for that matter.
Author Wicked Child Posted February 14, 2010 Author Posted February 14, 2010 yeah, I'm just letting that whole thing fizzle out on its own...haven't contacted him or responded to his texts....He's just not worth my time. On a brighter note, I had an extremely successful first date last night...So much so, that we are going out again tonight. The reciprocity is so refreshing...he even offered to hop the El out here to see me... This one's a keeper for sure!
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