Author curiousnycgirl Posted February 12, 2010 Author Posted February 12, 2010 Well, at least you got that dog! Hugs. Indeed I did - handsome fella isn't he?
Ariadne Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Indeed I did - handsome fella isn't he? Gorgeous
GrayClouds Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 I remain hopeful and hopelessly in love. OY the painful web we weave! hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....
Author curiousnycgirl Posted February 12, 2010 Author Posted February 12, 2010 hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... Not to worry GrayClouds I am not going to do anything stupid. My ex may remain the man he became, in which case I am not in love with him, but a memory of him. Sort of like the fact that I am still very much in love wtih my fiance who died before the weddign 25 years ago - I will always ALWAYS love him. If my ex chooses to continue the way things were, then in effect he killed the man I love and I will maintain NC and eventually move on.
GrayClouds Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 but I have to admit that I remain hopeful and hopelessly in love. It may sound like semantics but your sentence says your acquiescing your future, even if it is on some very small level, to your EX and the decisions he will make. Why do choose to do that? Hope that does not inspire positive action is worthless at it's best and destructive at it's worst. Your next relationship should inspire you not be be hopelessly in love but hopeful in love. Hopelessly is passive, hopeful should be active. As Bubbe would tell the sisters, "The men who will give you all his love will never hurt you, the men who will give you a little of his love, will never stop hurting you." You made great gains, and will continue to CNYCG.
Author curiousnycgirl Posted February 12, 2010 Author Posted February 12, 2010 It may sound like semantics but your sentence says your acquiescing your future, even if it is on some very small level, to your EX and the decisions he will make. Why do choose to do that? Hope that does not inspire positive action is worthless at it's best and destructive at it's worst. Your next relationship should inspire you not be be hopelessly in love but hopeful in love. Hopelessly is passive, hopeful should be active. As Bubbe would tell the sisters, "The men who will give you all his love will never hurt you, the men who will give you a little of his love, will never stop hurting you." You made great gains, and will continue to CNYCG. good points as usual - at the moment I feel it is hopelessly in love, perhaps with a man who is gone forever. Maybe it will morph into something else with him, and for that I can hope (but to be realistic I don't really see it happening). Interesting point about all vs. a little of his love - do they same about women?
abdellost Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 it sucks that i am not able to personal message anyone in this forum yet lol, alot of people seem to know alot and how to help others. (PSST, no one has replied to all 4 of my threads of me asking for help haha). Anyways to be honest, your story made me feel a LITTLE better. Its been 15 days that the love of my life (shes the one that came up to me and told me i was her love of her life first time) left me after 5 years of great love. She just left me,even though 2 days before that she was holding my arm, kissing my shoulders (shes short) and crying telling me never to hate her and never be mad at her,and then send a text the night before the break up asking me hold her tight and never let her go. Next day she breaks up with me,after a small argument, saying shes not herself and shes not who she thought she would grow up to be and that she been lying to herself for 2 years saying everything will work out. (her parents are *******s, and she was always stressed out and always wanted to keep me happy). Your post made me feel a little better because, she has not contact me since the break up and its been killing me. How the hell did she let us go so easily? we had code names for everything. we both had our very first kiss with each other, we did a lot of stuff to each other (we tend not to do anything until marriage, in our society, and she thought we would last together till she dies). but here it goes, valentines coming up. we had a lot of things planned, she had the greatest surprise for me. first time im going to be alone for valentines in 5 years. But shes not writing me back, she hasnt emailed me back ( i emailed her one last time for closure, to let me go because till now i dont get how a girl is crying and begging me to hold her and never let her go and the next day she breaks up with me and CHANGES her number..how the hell did this happen). I was just crying my heart out and i am a very strong person. shes making me go crazy. No there was nobody else. We had a huge fight a week before the small argument and she ran to me and hugged me begging me never to hate her cuz i had this look in my eye that i was getting sick of all her Bull****. so i dont know what happened. Her friends are being really mean to me (all 4 of her best friends never fell in love or even hold a guys hand) and telling me its over and she never wants to get back with me (lol they never really been with us when we hang out, we cant even hold hands infront of them or they would have un-friend her. yes weird country). anyways thanks for sharing your thoughts. and to be honest, hes not going to write back until you do and tell him how u feel ( i dont know why u guys broke up, you seem to want to work everything out). I wrote her one email since the break up and she hasnt logged online yet.i dont think she will any time soon. i stopped trying to contact her and text her ( thought she did change her number, makes me wonder why. how else does she want me to contact her lol).
Author curiousnycgirl Posted February 12, 2010 Author Posted February 12, 2010 Thank you abdellost I'm sorry no one has been rsonding to your posts, I'm not sure why although I can tell you your english is a little difficult to understand - that could be the reason, but I doubt it since folks around here tend to go above and beyond to help. While I appreciate yoru point of view, I do not agree that I should reach out to my ex. I've already poured my heart out to him, in an email to which he did not respond. The email I sent him is in a much earlier post of mine. If there is even a smidgen of hope my ex needs to initiate communication, it is that simple. In your situation where your ex went so far as to change her number - I think there is more going on, or more that went on then you are telling us. Most people will not change their number just because they broke up with someoone. Just my two cents.
GrayClouds Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 good points as usual - at the moment I feel it is hopelessly in love, perhaps with a man who is gone forever. Maybe it will morph into something else with him, and for that I can hope (but to be realistic I don't really see it happening). THEN BE REALISTIC and stop being a sacrificing part of yourself for a hopeless outcome, that perhaps, maybe happen. Choose to give that part of yourself to a future you know you can have by going back and giving your all to healing. NYCgirl, you already been here you do not need to go site seeing through these woods again. As you said you took a step back, now start stepping forward. Interesting point about all vs. a little of his love - do they same about women? yes both women and men when they only give you some of their love you are always wanting more. And wanting (like hope) for what you can not get is continually painful.
Author curiousnycgirl Posted February 12, 2010 Author Posted February 12, 2010 THEN BE REALISTIC and stop being a sacrificing part of yourself for a hopeless outcome, that perhaps, maybe happen. Choose to give that part of yourself to a future you know you can have by going back and giving your all to healing. NYCgirl, you already been here you do not need to go site seeing through these woods again. As you said you took a step back, now start stepping forward. I'm trying, I really am. But if he does actually reach out, I will listen and G-d willing I will be strong and protect myself. I'm not going to lie and deny that. I would prefer to be prepared. And yes I am still in love with him, but I am healing and I certainly hope I will be less accepting of the BS. I certainly know I deserve more and frankly if I am not going to get it, I will not stick around.
Star Gazer Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 I hurt for you, CNYCG. I wish I could wave a wand and make all this torment disappear.
Author curiousnycgirl Posted February 13, 2010 Author Posted February 13, 2010 Thanks Star I appreciate it. It's actually a catch 22 - I was crying my eyes out when his friend told me he was going to send this email. The hope that bit of news gave me at least got me to stop crying. So the big question is, did this bit of hope stop my healing process? I'm hoping not because since I heard there was to be an email I've been trying to make sure I remain strong and don't just collapse into his arms (figuratively speaking of course). I will say one thing is for certain, I am a loooong way away from being ready to start this whole crappy process again with anyone new!
GrayClouds Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 I will say one thing is for certain, I am a loooong way away from being ready to start this whole crappy process again with anyone new! Then I would suggest that your also a looong way away from being ready to restart this whole crappy process with anyone old either.
Author curiousnycgirl Posted February 13, 2010 Author Posted February 13, 2010 Then I would suggest that your also a looong way away from being ready to restart this whole crappy process with anyone old either. Touche GrayClouds
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