Mad BF Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Hi. I have a wonderful gf but lately we have been fighting alot. It was just recently our 5 month anniversary and we decided to go to a public outing. Well we were sitting in some bleachers when she asked for me to move so her friend could sit with us. Well the amount of available room was debatable so i just moved down to sit next to my friend that was there also. My other friends (who are girls) were down there so naturally I was talking to them because we have been friends for probably ten years minimum. In addition to that, while my girlfriend was talking to her friend I tried to get ahold of her attention but she wasnt giving in. After we left the event we got into an arguement. She was saying " you ditched me and you were flirting with other girls!" I didnt ditch her she asked me to move and I was only talking to my long term friend that I had known longer than her! And then after that she said to me, "I seen the way she looked at you." My friend didnt look at me any different than how she looks at every one of her friends. This sounds like an extreme case of jealousy but every time i say that she needs to calm down because shes just jealous she flips out and says im not jealous. How should I deal with this situation. Also, there was an incedent about Facebook. Now first of all I need to explain something. Im not a big social networking kind of guy. The last pictures I put on FB were a year ago and I dont have any of my info or anything. Well my GF just got facefook. All of a sudden she starts attacking me about how I talk to her friend (who is a slut) and how i didnt have my relationship status set as "in a relationship" and how I didnt have any pictures of us on there. Then she continues to talk about her friend. I was tagged in a few photos and one of them was with her friend Emily (the supposed slut). So I caught a hail storm of arguing over that. Can anyone answer why my GF keeps attacking me over things that I didnt do. I mean sure I didnt have my relationship status to "in a relationship" but c mon. I never get on there and I dont even put neww pictures on there but yet I get blamed for all of it. Can someone please tell me or point me in the right direction on how to deal with this. Im starting to think my Gf is a little too jealous and insecure.
BB07 Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 She is jealous and insecure.......and there really isn't anything you can do about it. So you only have one question to answer, can you deal with it?
Malenfant Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 never ceases to amaze me how many arguments arise from FB. She is being unreasonable. Like above poster said, can you deal with it? IME pandering to this type of person only makes them feel they are entitled to more and more from you. If it were me, i'd just put my foot down and tell her she's being stupid. If you cave in and do what she wants and say 'yes dear' you're just setting yourself up for lots more of this in the future.
scorpio4 Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Reading what you have to say reminds me a little of myself! i have to admit here that i am also the raging jelous girlfriend. i do realise this is a bad quality to have,I do however have one thing to say and that is my boyfriend (although drives him crazy sometimes) finds it very endearing. Sometimes, when your girlfriend goes in to one, i think all you can do is reassure her you love her no one else, and that you only desire/want her. it is an insecurity, and some people can deal with it some cant. its up to you whether you chose to or not, but it does tell you one thing and thats that she cares about you alot, and worries mainly what you think about her. She clearly wants to be your centre of attention, and i dont think theres anything wrong with that when it comes to a relationship....dont attack her back for being 'paranoid' she cant help feeling the way she does
Author Mad BF Posted February 12, 2010 Author Posted February 12, 2010 I dont attack her. She continuously attacks me. And she wont quit until i give in. Not to sound full of myself but she seems a little obsessed. Should I break up with her? I mean I love her to death and I would never want to hurt her but sometimes she is out of hand. She doesnt even let me explain when she brings up something and while im trying to explain she just attacks me with something else.
Silver_star Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 I think you should break up with her. You dont really seem too torn over the idea of it. If her insecurities are starting to annoy you then i dont think its love. Im not saying you dont care for her. But if you are more annoyed because of what its doing to you rather than concerned over what it might be doing to her or your relationship then get out now. If you cant talk to her and have a mature conversation about what your relationship means to you and what it means to her and see if you are on the same page...well maybe its time to move on.
Author Mad BF Posted February 13, 2010 Author Posted February 13, 2010 Ok. I just wanted to say that all of your advice has been very helpful in deciding how to handle the situation.
Sazerac Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Sad to say but you may need to reconsider the relationship. Part of her issues seem to be obsessive jealousy and insecurity, but another part sounds like she is very immature. Have you met her family yet? How do they handle confrontations and crises? Understanding that will go a long way toward understanding how she handles confrontations as well. I wish you the best.
D-Lish Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Nothing worse than dealing with an irrational jealous person- ugh. You need to have a serious talk with her and tell her how her jealousy is affecting your opinion of her. If she can't deal with that and make some changes, or she attacks you- ditch her. Your girl is insecure.
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