Template Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 Wait... so let me get this straight, if a guy or girl is a bad kisser, that's a deal breaker for some of you? I mean come on, there's nothing to counter that? A strong enough emotional connection maybe? I don't know. Seems almost shallow to me (I know we all have our shallow tendancies). How would this be different from saying, well if there feet isn't size blah, or they have bodyfat over a certain percentage. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm a good kisser - I've never been self conscious about it, but was told many times. But do you all tell your prospective dates up front, if you are a bad kisser, the deals off? But I'm just jaded I guess.
You'reasian Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 Wait... so let me get this straight, if a guy or girl is a bad kisser, that's a deal breaker for some of you? I mean come on, there's nothing to counter that? A strong enough emotional connection maybe? I don't know. Seems almost shallow to me (I know we all have our shallow tendancies). How would this be different from saying, well if there feet isn't size blah, or they have bodyfat over a certain percentage. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm a good kisser - I've never been self conscious about it, but was told many times. But do you all tell your prospective dates up front, if you are a bad kisser, the deals off? But I'm just jaded I guess. I see your point. Are relationships easy? Because if bad kissing is a dealbreaker, someone's in for a suprise for what relationships are really like...
Ruby Slippers Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 Seems almost shallow to me (I know we all have our shallow tendancies). How would this be different from saying, well if there feet isn't size blah, or they have bodyfat over a certain percentage. I already said up there I wouldn't dismiss a good guy for so-so kissing -- provided he improved over time -- but that good kissing from the get-go is highly desirable. Kissing is not rocket science. Some people are just naturally good at it. It's kind of like hugging. Some people give crappy hugs, and some people just intuitively know and feel how to give a GREAT hug. Same with handshakes. And conversation. Are you going for it, or are you giving a limp, halfhearted, going-through-the-motions effort? Because the latter is pretty much a waste of my time. I give great hugs and kisses, and I would prefer that my man be able to do the same. As Mae West said, "A man's kiss is his signature." I TOTALLY agree! The ex of mine who kissed me like a freight train going 90 miles an hour also took me to bed that way, and had fun with me that way, and did EVERYTHING that way. The one who was careful and polite with his kisses was careful and polite in bed, careful and polite in life, careful and polite in his career -- everything. No surprise that we were not compatible. *snore* The one who would spend an hour making out with me, and devoted serious time to learning exactly how to drive me wild with his kisses was rock-like in every other way -- he committed fully to everything he did, and did not half-ass anything. You can tell a LOT about a person by the way they kiss.
You'reasian Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 The one who was careful and polite with his kisses was careful and polite in bed, careful and polite in life, careful and polite in his career -- everything. No surprise that we were not compatible. *snore* The one who would spend an hour making out with me, and devoted serious time to learning exactly how to drive me wild with his kisses was rock-like in every other way -- he committed fully to everything he did, and did not half-ass anything. You can tell a LOT about a person by the way they kiss. So it is subjective LOL You like kissing to be like a freight train going 90mph, which is different than our other poster who likes it more gentle, which is different than a girl who prefers deep tongue action and the girl who says screw the kissing, lets get it on !
Template Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 Then like as Asian said, it's subjective, and I can live with that. They way they kiss, is just not compatible on how YOU (or WE) liked to be kissed. to label someone as a bad kisser seems so finite, and definitive. Maybe they are deemed good by someone else, maybe they deem or us bad kissers. It's kinda similar to an episode I watched of the Millionaire matchmaker. Some dude had a bad date, and made it a point to tell the lady she was horrible, and nuts, etc (probably because they didn't share the same ideals). The matchmaker got mad saying, "You don't have to degrade anyone, just be a gentleman and say that the woman is just not for you... show some class." I'm not saying someone is a bad kisser, is in the same class of insult (no means), but I think it just proves the point of subjectivity.
You'reasian Posted February 19, 2010 Posted February 19, 2010 Then like as Asian said, it's subjective, and I can live with that. They way they kiss, is just not compatible on how YOU (or WE) liked to be kissed. to label someone as a bad kisser seems so finite, and definitive. Maybe they are deemed good by someone else, maybe they deem or us bad kissers. It's kinda similar to an episode I watched of the Millionaire matchmaker. Some dude had a bad date, and made it a point to tell the lady she was horrible, and nuts, etc (probably because they didn't share the same ideals). The matchmaker got mad saying, "You don't have to degrade anyone, just be a gentleman and say that the woman is just not for you... show some class." I'm not saying someone is a bad kisser, is in the same class of insult (no means), but I think it just proves the point of subjectivity. It is subjective. If your kissing is making your girlfriend excited, leads to spoonin and other fine activities then you're probably doing ok - enjoy and keep on pleasin' her
Author paddington bear Posted February 19, 2010 Author Posted February 19, 2010 oh God yeah, it's totally subjective, I agree. I don't agree that it's an equivalent to dismissing someone due to foot size. I really get turned on by kisses, I don't get turned on or off by foot size in general. So, someone who doesn't make me want to kiss them further is a bigger deal than if they have big or small feet. However, it being subjective and all, perhaps it means to this particular guy that I posted about, that I was a bad kisser, because we had different kissing styles. dunno though...I've been told on numerous occassions that I'm a good kisser...and this has never involved licking someone repeatedly around the general mouth area
Ruby Slippers Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 dunno though...I've been told on numerous occassions that I'm a good kisser...and this has never involved licking someone repeatedly around the general mouth area Yes, I agree there are some nearly universal BADS in kissing.
Twenty-ten Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 Personally, I agree with your technique... but I've heard of women who like deep tongue penetration in their mouth while kissing - which is exactly the opposite of what you're talking about. So if you're used to kissing someone like you, then much later end up kissing someone who likes alot of tongue - will be like "stop playing around and *&*(#&$ kiss me deeply" I've noticed that darker skinned women like more tongue...but that could be a generalization. Kissing is subjective. No you misunderstood or I wasn't clear enough, I like a lot of tongue but you have to build to it. It's all in the buildup. If go in for the slobber on a first go it's too much I think, but I love tongue how could you have a passionate kiss without tongue??? Once you've kissed a few times and you match styles then you can go for whatever you want. We are after all talking about the first kiss. It boils down to first impressions. It's like touch you want touch and you don't want to disregard other non-erogenous parts of the body, but eventually you want to go for the gold.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 It's all in the buildup. Yeah, this proves it's subjective. Possibly the best first kiss I've had was full-on tongue thrashing from the get-go. I was kind of shocked at how intensely he laid it on me. It was like a charging bull let out of the gate. BUT we had been friends and music buddies for years, always in other relationships, and we let the intensity build up for a WHILE before we got physical. So, by that point, we were both about ready to explode. To me, it all comes down to energy. What is the energy between us, and does that play out sizzlingly in the kiss? Even a first, sweet kiss can be smoldering hot, if the energy is good and you're responding to what the other is giving.
You'reasian Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 No you misunderstood or I wasn't clear enough, I like a lot of tongue but you have to build to it. It's all in the buildup. If go in for the slobber on a first go it's too much I think, but I love tongue how could you have a passionate kiss without tongue??? Once you've kissed a few times and you match styles then you can go for whatever you want. We are after all talking about the first kiss. It boils down to first impressions. It's like touch you want touch and you don't want to disregard other non-erogenous parts of the body, but eventually you want to go for the gold. I completely agree with the technique you were describing earlier - that's the best!
Twenty-ten Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 Yeah, this proves it's subjective. Possibly the best first kiss I've had was full-on tongue thrashing from the get-go. I was kind of shocked at how intensely he laid it on me. It was like a charging bull let out of the gate. You know it depends, it depends on how much tension you had building up til the kiss actually happens. I've had those too and they are great, but then again if it is a good date and the sexual build up is not as crazy because you don't really know each other that much I would think it's safer to go for the build up. Naturally if you have all this bottled up sexual tension it's good to go in for the kill. Truth be told I would rather a full on tongue kiss even though I am not expecting it yet then a puckering dry one that leaves you wondering where the heck the lips went, like I explained earlier. That's terrible for me. I guess I can agree it's subjecting but bad is still bad we all know when we experience it.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 Truth be told I would rather a full on tongue kiss even though I am not expecting it yet then a puckering dry one that leaves you wondering where the heck the lips went, like I explained earlier. That's terrible for me. YEESSS. A tentative, DRY kiss is so bad. It just... makes you sad. Put some oomph into it! Too much excitement is definitely better than not enough.
tami-chan Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 The problem came when we shared a few kisses. Kissing is really important to me. Good kissing is really important to me. He kind of basically, well...just licked me repeatedly to the point where I was constantly wiping spit off my mouth area. oh god..nooooooooo..this is just nasty...i wont be able to handle this.... What should I do? Can people change their kissing style? Is it totally insulting to try to train someone to kiss (at least sometimes) the way you like it? Or is it an unchangeable thing that will remain this way forever? I will cut my losses and move on....
MalachiX Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 I never really thought about this. How do you know if you're a bad kisser? I've occasionally wondered how to be better in bed but never really thought a lot about just kissing. Especially since first kisses tend to be awkward since you're not sure how sexual they should be. I guess the question is, are you attracted to this guy? If you are, then you'll be fine. Any physical fumbles I've had with a woman are cured pretty quickly as long as I find her attractive. If you're not attracted to this guy then this may be indicative of a larger issue. Assuming he does turn you on though, just level with him and tell him you want him to hold totally still while you experiment with his mouth. I would certainly enjoy that.
SadandConfusedWA Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 On the subject of kisses what do you think of a first kiss that kind of simulates sex (as in tongue in and out at a varied pace)? I found this kind of weird and I had it with a guy I went to high school with after he admitted he had a crush on me all through the high school. Then he kissed me....like that. I was a bit WTF?
MalachiX Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 On the subject of kisses what do you think of a first kiss that kind of simulates sex (as in tongue in and out at a varied pace)? I found this kind of weird and I had it with a guy I went to high school with after he admitted he had a crush on me all through the high school. Then he kissed me....like that. I was a bit WTF? Unless it's a spur-of-the-moment hook-up, I think it's kind of odd to start tonguing on the first kiss. Tongue always felt to me like something you should save when you're getting kind of hot and heavy. I'd feel creepy doing it if we weren't already getting pretty physical.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 (edited) I am amused by this thread. I once wrote up some kissing tips for a male friend of mine who asked. Once he became my boyfriend, he used them on me. So awesome. I'll bet he still has those. I'll have to ask him. haha Edited February 20, 2010 by Ruby Slippers
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