How do I stay positive and not annoyed by other people's remarks because I'm single?

[CarmenSandiego]

I've been officially single for just over 2 yrs. I was in a 4 year, committed relationship, living with my ex boyfriend and looking at engagement rings. Then I decided I wanted to prioritize MY needs and make my life exactly how I wanted it (the old cliche, "find myself), so I left him. I never regretted it.

 

After he reacted like a maniac to the breakup and threatened me with suicide for months, I was finally able to date again. However, it's been working out with no one.

 

On top of that, I got a full-time job I hated, so I decided for more college--full-time night classes, which leaves me very little recreation time on week days.

 

Since I am very busy, made career first, and I am being careful that my next boyfriend is someone that I definitely want to dedicate time, energy, and attention to (rather than lead on SIMPLY to say I have a boyfriend), it's been kind of hard to find one!

 

Alas, people pass constant judgement on me. I get pitiful looks from people when they find out I'm single, I get excluded from couples outings because I'm not a couple, I get hooked up with guys I would never have a smidgen of interest in (because I must be lonely), and people speculate about what must be "wrong" with me, because I am not steadily with someone, engaged, or hitched. (And, I do not broadcast to people about my hookups and very NOT serious men because I think it's kind of trashy).

 

I have to admit, this brings me down! A lot of people think there must be something "wrong" with me if I'm single, but there are so many factors involved!

 

How do I stay positive and not take people's relentless judging and pity to heart until I can finally find another good guy?!

[counterman]

Why do you care what people think? They do not know your situation or the experiences you have had. They are free to judge from what they see or think but, otherwise, their words are meaningless. Even if it is your friends who think that way about you, who cares!

 

You chose to focus on your career and to study again, which is brilliant. Once you take care of yourself first, you will be able to meet someone you can dedicate time to. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Just remember you are doing the right thing here and that other people's opinions do not matter.

[You'reasian]

Being single can be a blessing.

 

Approximately 50% of marriages end in divorce, which shows that people who are (or were) married are constantly faced with relationship challenges - that being said, there's nothing wrong with working on yourself until you are ready to find someone else who wants to be above that 50% that stay married.

 

It might get lonely, but as a friend of mine tells me an owner of a lonely heart, is much better than an owner of a broken heart.

[greatgirlfriend]

I've gotten that myself. I guess now my family just assumes I'll never marry then if it happens, they'll all pass out. Besides, most of the people I knew who were married and like that are all divorced.

[You'reasian]

my family just assumes I'll never marry then if it happens, they'll all pass out.

 

This has more to do with your excellent choice of booze at the wedding...

 

 

they don't call you greatgirlfriend for nuthin. Continue...