minutebyminute Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Okay folks if you're not into the lengthy versions this is not for you... I contacted the OM after HE contacted me a week ago. We had a conversation a week ago, which he initiated, I called him back, got a lot of crap from LS for doing so, which is fine, then I decided to call him again. I called after thinking about it for a long period of time with what I had to say. He is "never available" when I call, so I figured all nothing was lost if he didn't answer. He answered. This is how it unfolded to begin with verbatim anD then I will move forward quickly: "Hello, in a disturbed voice". "Hi, G it's me, C," Oh, OOOH, Hi" "You never called me back," "Yeah, My boss called me away, I got busy, blah blah." Silence for acknowledged reasons. "How are the girls!!!" "They are really really great, and since you asked me, I need you to know something about A***, she never really understood what happened. You said you loved them, but left and never kept in touch with them. She wanted to know why and why you weren't friends anymore." I then said, "I told her things in life turn and people leave and blah blah", giving her the best explanation I could as an adult shielding her as much I could. I then proceeded to tell him this: "I need to tell you something. . . I am in love with you. Things have not changed for me in seven month, I feel the same for you as I did when we left each other. I don't know where I will be in one year, I probably won't be here, I may not even be married anymore, I do not know, but what I do know is I need to grow up, I need to get my **** together and I need to own what is going on and I think, No, I KNOW, the only way possible is to say goodbye to you." On the other end was breathing noises and a few buts I don't know but I kept on going. I have talked this thru for seven months, I knew everything I had to say, and I did. This will be lengthy because I need it to be. . . He told me the problem was my H and sneaking around, it went against all principals, then I reminded him I told my entire family, including my H and children(children not privileged to some material) that I loved G and wanted to leave my H and be with (OM) G. Then I reminded him that it was not just my H. He did not want my children, thank you fallen angel. I said to him, what kind of a person would ask a mother to leave her children behind. You knowing me and what kind of a mother I am would never, could never do this. He said to me, I would never ask you to do this, and I responded, "you used it as a card in the pocket, knowing what kind of a person I was, it was your get out of free relationship card." He said nothing, but continued to listen. I told him, the only thing I have ever done, or have I ever done anything to you? I couldn't understand him at this point because I think I was starting to loose him, but I did hear him say I was the only one in his life that nurtured him, I really don't know what that means. When I moved, I stayed in contact with him, mutual agreement, but things changed, just like it did with my "friends." I called him one night, I have no idea what he was doing, it pissed me off and I told him so. He hung up on me. During this conversation, I told him how this devastated me to block me out like I was nothing. The next conversation I had with him, he was with a new woman and traveling "cross country" with her. I told him this: "You jumped into that relationship so quickly after us, that I don't feel you ever loved me." He replied, "Yes, that happened very quickly between us." I never gave him an opportunity to go on because I couldn't listen to the gory details as given to me before. I told him this during the conversation. Something triggered L his new love, I asked him again if he loved her, he said , I think I could be in love, I said WTF you either are or you aren't. Then he started with some problems they are having. Of course being the STUPID, DUMBASS, WORK ON IT, THUG, that I am just had to put my advise out there, but I maintained my dignity, told him what I thought. I told him the truth. let it be know that we all hate things about one another, be is a body part of the one you love or a family member. The only reason I am confessing this to LS is he has made a mistake, I wanted to relish, dance, but I honestly love this person, I don't bestowe any hate towards him. In all honesty I wish I could get my girls off to college and pick up a relationship with him, that is 10 plus years off, that is a fantasy and yes I have relaid this fantasy to G. He is selfish, self centered, an opportunist, a weak link, but I love this man. I will move on, I know I can, but I think this person is my warrior, my true love, my mirror. The End.
pureinheart Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Hey MBM, You know, it is all just hard...oh and yes the selfishness is hard to deal with ...I really like what you said about the playing the getting out of relationship card, not exact words, although I love that....and ohhhhh how true that is....the way I see it, is you want an open door you got it and don't let it hit you on the way out (not saying "you" in all of the you's...but in general whoever). I'd love to sit here and tell you it will be better, although how can a person that has known not much else but hurt, well from me have to say that I really hope it gets better. It is much like a withdrawl
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