charasbb Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 It's only been 4 days since I found out he cheated on me and I know it's going to be tons of ups and down, I've been through break ups before but this is the first time I've been cheated on.It's a really strange feeling because despite what he did to me, I still love him, but intellectually I know I can't be with him. I feel like I should hate him and a lot of people who found out what happened between us bash him and it makes me upset. We dated 2 years and he cheated on me once one drunken night with a girl that I had been paranoid about. I'm angry at myself for not listening to my intuition and also at him for telling me nothing was happening between them, but I still love him, crave contact with him. It's just weird. How have you dealt with a break up with a cheating ex?
bruce wayne Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 dealing with it now. i have moments of being angry, moments i miss her and moments i dont care. i hope that the latter becomes more prevalent as time goes by. just know your not alone and it is natural to miss someone u love/loved even if they did something as hurtful as cheating.
GrayClouds Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 It's only been 4 days since I found out he cheated on me and I know it's going to be tons of ups and down, I've been through break ups before but this is the first time I've been cheated on.It's a really strange feeling because despite what he did to me, I still love him, but intellectually I know I can't be with him. I feel like I should hate him and a lot of people who found out what happened between us bash him and it makes me upset. We dated 2 years and he cheated on me once one drunken night with a girl that I had been paranoid about. I'm angry at myself for not listening to my intuition and also at him for telling me nothing was happening between them, but I still love him, crave contact with him. It's just weird. How have you dealt with a break up with a cheating ex? You deal with it doing all uf the complimentary things of NC. Start exercising, it will make you feel better, hang out with friends and family for support, take that class or start the hobbie you always wanted to try. Adn remember their behavior is a refection of them not you. Take pride tht your smart enough to know despite your feeling he is not good enough for you and you deserve better.
Ingenue Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. I remember feeling the same things when I found out my ex cheated on me (at least emotionally and I suspect physically but have no proof) at the end of our relationship. My circumstances differ from yours in that he never disclosed his cheating. He just dumped me by email and then I didn't find out about the cheating until after 5 months of NC in which he let it slip. This, after dating the man for 5 years. I was still bothered by it after that amount of time. Cheating is a betrayal of your trust. You are understandably upset because you gave your trust to a person who breached it. That is not something that can easily be reclaimed. The only thing I can recommend you do is to realise that the cheating is in no way a reflection of you, or your relationship with your ex. It is on him entirely and it is a reflection of who he is as a person. After I found out, I realised that my ex wasn't a good person and that helped me immensely in moving on. Good luck
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