Shocklink Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Hello people. As you may have noticed I have just recently joined your fourms in search for not another person, but for knowledge and peace of mind. I am brand new to this and I don't know the "informal" rules like most fourms have so please... Bare with me as I have suffered enough as it is... You see, I have been dating this girl for 11 months... Those 11 months I must say, were the best we could ever have shared. I would enjoy just staring into her eyes and want to just hold her hand like if I was never going to let go... We were so happyand full of love... But all of a sudden... She just stopped, told me "look, can we start over?" or "can we be just friends?" I was heart broken... I didn't know what to do and I did what most people told me not to do, beg her back. I begged and asked why she left me and she gave me 2 reasons where one of them were "I felt like this relationship was becoming a sexual one" and the other was "I just don't have that spark we use to have"... It hurts me every morning to imagin and think now that she is my friend yet it's easier, why? Because she dumped me before... 5 months before it lasted 24 days (I counted) where we were "friends" and to me, that was like living in hell. Last time it was my fault for being "to clingy". Now... Now she's just saying "I don't see us comming back together" and "I don't have a spark" sort stuff... I can't believe after 11 months she just suddenly "lost" the spark in a 1 week span... I can't believe that... Now I am friends with her yet I BARLY talk to her. I dont message her, she dosnt message me, no texts or phone calls, at times she text but just about information she didn't get cause she didn't go to school last time. I have been friends with her since Jan 25 and it's been 16 days since we were friends... Yet it hurts me... Idk what to do... Our first date was on Feb 20 and we began going out on March 1... I'm not expecting something to happen before that but... I need help... People say just be friends... Others say not to... Idk what to do... I have all the patience cause I'm going no where.. I just need a fool proof plan... P.S. *She said she still wana go to Prom and stuff with me as friends... I don't see how she can say that...
Satisfaction Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 I'm sorry to say this to you but perhaps the spark was not there to begin with for her? People occasionally do stupid things like that. I'm not sure why she would wait 11 months to tell you that though. I'm not sure what she means by the sex thing and you begged for her back and she still did not return(the reason people tell you not to do that by the way is because if she wants to come back and you ask, she will normally return. When you start to move and acknowledge the break up you will look back with serious regret about the begging.) You're keeping in contact leaving an avenue of communication open but she isn't using it to communicate her feelings to you. I think you should back away from this lady. Start thinking about how you will continue your life without her. And it will hurt for a while so keep your friends close and try and do stuff to keep yourself distracted and happy as much as possible.
Author Shocklink Posted February 11, 2010 Author Posted February 11, 2010 I don't see how she didn't have that spark in the first place when she would say she loved me and we have done so much... You know when somebody says "I love you" and you can tell it's not a simple gesture... Also the sexual part was the fact that she didn't want our relationship to become a sexual one yet she was the one that even wanted to lose her virginity with me... So u suggest I don't be her friend at all...
Satisfaction Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Well if you feel it's genuine then what is the reason for her behaviour? I don't think you treat people who love the way she is treating you now. Did something happen? I think if you are friends with her in the hope that she will get back with you then everyday and every moment that you are hope and it doesn't happen, you will hurt. I think distance would do you some good.
phineas Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Take someone else to Prom or don't go at all. You will look back & wonder what the hell you were thinking if you take her. It will be sheer hell for you.
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