nes9 Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Per usual, the evenings are taking their tole on me as they are the times when I feel most depressed. I'm having suuuuuuch a hard time keeping no contact. I ALMOST called her today, then ALMOST instant messaged her, but I somehow resisted. I know its normal to feel like this but it's near impossible for me to accept the realization that my ex is not THE best girl in the world, and that there are plenty of other girls out there as good as her. Every girl that I see, I can't help but judge them and think things like, my ex is probably cooler/smarter/nicer/more trustworthy than her..... and I don't even know them! I just have the awful feeling that any girl I meet will always be a step or two below my ex. Please tell me other people recently broken up with feel the same way! Any support will be greatly appreciated!
paleblue Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 the feelings you are having are def normal. i used to feel that my girl was it! and that no other woman could compare, but i was wrong. i dont know if this is your first girl, but if not think about your past girls. you had prob felt the same way about them in their day. and it passed. that is what i keep reminding myself. im sitting around tonight going wtf to myself. i just had to break it off yesterday with a new girl i was kinda seeing for the last few months. it wasnt going anywhere. but yet now i kinda miss her. i know it will pass. and so will yours. we dont have time for this. we gotta get our self ready for the next.
bruce wayne Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 it is natural to fell that way. i mean you were in relationship so u "programmed" yourself to think ur girl is the best and only one u need...thats y u stayed faithful. it'll pass..don't fight how u feel. allow it to take its course and just deal.
Author nes9 Posted February 11, 2010 Author Posted February 11, 2010 the feelings you are having are def normal. i used to feel that my girl was it! and that no other woman could compare, but i was wrong. i dont know if this is your first girl, but if not think about your past girls. you had prob felt the same way about them in their day. and it passed. that is what i keep reminding myself. im sitting around tonight going wtf to myself. i just had to break it off yesterday with a new girl i was kinda seeing for the last few months. it wasnt going anywhere. but yet now i kinda miss her. i know it will pass. and so will yours. we dont have time for this. we gotta get our self ready for the next. This was my second GF. My first one I broke up with and yeah, I missed her for a little but it was nothing like this. I think the difference is that I was legitimately in love with this girlfriend, whereas my first GF, I think I dated her just because I wanted to experience a girlfriend. This is the second time this particular girl has broken up with me, it sucks. I always wonder peoples ages on this board. I'm 23, how old are you?
paleblue Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 im 37, and i can tell you it isnt any easier now than when i was 23. just a heads up in life.
skydiveaddict Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 [quote name= Please tell me other people recently broken up with feel the same way! Any support will be greatly appreciated! [/quote] Yes I feel EXACTLT the same way. Don't contact her though. If you do its right back to square one
Author nes9 Posted February 11, 2010 Author Posted February 11, 2010 Yes I feel EXACTLT the same way. Don't contact her though. If you do its right back to square one Ugh I knowwww. So hard to keep NC.
GrayClouds Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Per usual, the evenings are taking their tole on me as they are the times when I feel most depressed. I'm having suuuuuuch a hard time keeping no contact. I ALMOST called her today, then ALMOST instant messaged her, but I somehow resisted. I know its normal to feel like this but it's near impossible for me to accept the realization that my ex is not THE best girl in the world, and that there are plenty of other girls out there as good as her. Every girl that I see, I can't help but judge them and think things like, my ex is probably cooler/smarter/nicer/more trustworthy than her..... and I don't even know them! I just have the awful feeling that any girl I meet will always be a step or two below my ex. Please tell me other people recently broken up with feel the same way! Any support will be greatly appreciated! Every girl you see is not good enough at the movement because your not over your ex and you have not healed. Try writing a list of all the things you did not like or would have changed about your EX. Nothing is too big or too small, from the she pick her nose to that one part of her body that was not perfect. And everytime you are thinking she is the best add to it. It is hard right now but it will get easier. Focus on doing some self-improvement, hit the gym, start a class or hobbie, hang with family and friends. The good news is it had been tuff but you resisted contacting her, it says you can talk care of your self. Keep it up. IT get easier.
LostInLimbo Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Every girl you see is not good enough at the movement because your not over your ex and you have not healed. Try writing a list of all the things you did not like or would have changed about your EX. Nothing is too big or too small, from the she pick her nose to that one part of her body that was not perfect. And everytime you are thinking she is the best add to it. It is hard right now but it will get easier. Focus on doing some self-improvement, hit the gym, start a class or hobbie, hang with family and friends. The good news is it had been tuff but you resisted contacting her, it says you can talk care of your self. Keep it up. IT get easier. I agree with GC although it may look so far away, It gets easier and believe me as well on that one.... LiL
skydiveaddict Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Ugh I knowwww. So hard to keep NC. Hang tough! you can do it.
skydiveaddict Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 One more thing dude , start hitting the gym HARD! Everyday! You will feel better mentally, and end up looking cut and toned for the next woman you meet!
Author nes9 Posted February 11, 2010 Author Posted February 11, 2010 One more thing dude , start hitting the gym HARD! Everyday! You will feel better mentally, and end up looking cut and toned for the next woman you meet! Yeah I've always been in to the gym. I've wanted to get into the best shape I've ever been in but did not have the time when I was in my relationship. I'm gonna make it my number one hobby/means of filling dead time.
You'reasian Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Per usual, the evenings are taking their tole on me as they are the times when I feel most depressed. I'm having suuuuuuch a hard time keeping no contact. I ALMOST called her today, then ALMOST instant messaged her, but I somehow resisted. I know its normal to feel like this but it's near impossible for me to accept the realization that my ex is not THE best girl in the world, and that there are plenty of other girls out there as good as her. Every girl that I see, I can't help but judge them and think things like, my ex is probably cooler/smarter/nicer/more trustworthy than her..... and I don't even know them! I just have the awful feeling that any girl I meet will always be a step or two below my ex. Please tell me other people recently broken up with feel the same way! Any support will be greatly appreciated! I can offer great support with my manly, strong arms. Is that good enough? jk You'll be fine. Time heals all.
skydiveaddict Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Yeah I've always been in to the gym. I've wanted to get into the best shape I've ever been in but did not have the time when I was in my relationship. I'm gonna make it my number one hobby/means of filling dead time.[/quote --------NICE!-------
Beeotch Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Per usual, the evenings are taking their tole on me as they are the times when I feel most depressed. I'm having suuuuuuch a hard time keeping no contact. I ALMOST called her today, then ALMOST instant messaged her, but I somehow resisted. I know its normal to feel like this but it's near impossible for me to accept the realization that my ex is not THE best girl in the world, and that there are plenty of other girls out there as good as her. Every girl that I see, I can't help but judge them and think things like, my ex is probably cooler/smarter/nicer/more trustworthy than her..... and I don't even know them! I just have the awful feeling that any girl I meet will always be a step or two below my ex. Please tell me other people recently broken up with feel the same way! Any support will be greatly appreciated! Yea those are normal feelings and if you guys are not meant to be: they will definitely fade and you WILL eventually come to find someone better. I went through it before and can tell you, it does happen. The best thing right now is to ride through this storm of emotions, understand their irrationality and their falseness and keep holding on until it passes. That's the biggest thing....some of what we feel and think are illusions and have no basis in reality or logic. I kind of think of them as hallucinations, they seem real, true and tempting to believe, but if you just realize they are NOT and hold out from acting on them and truly believing them...they eventually go away and you realize "Wow...how could I have believed that".
Author nes9 Posted February 11, 2010 Author Posted February 11, 2010 Yea those are normal feelings and if you guys are not meant to be: they will definitely fade and you WILL eventually come to find someone better. I went through it before and can tell you, it does happen. The best thing right now is to ride through this storm of emotions, understand their irrationality and their falseness and keep holding on until it passes. That's the biggest thing....some of what we feel and think are illusions and have no basis in reality or logic. I kind of think of them as hallucinations, they seem real, true and tempting to believe, but if you just realize they are NOT and hold out from acting on them and truly believing them...they eventually go away and you realize "Wow...how could I have believed that". Very good advice. I'll try to keep that in mind. Thank you.
CaliforniaSunshine Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Me and my ex are doing NC also. I cant stop thinking about him. Today was supposed to be day 2 and I broke down. Sent the worst desperate voice mail. He called and said we will see each other again, have faith---but just give him space. He was nice but he is starting to say I am pushing him away. NC is the toughest thing I am going to have to do. Tomorrow I have to keep reminding myself that if I do talk to him or contact him in anway--we start ALL over. He says if I can just do ONE week--it may be all he needs. I feel like such a loser for not even being able to give one week....but I HAVE to. Good luck with your situation as well!
skydiveaddict Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Me and my ex are doing NC also. I cant stop thinking about him. Today was supposed to be day 2 and I broke down. Sent the worst desperate voice mail. He called and said we will see each other again, have faith---but just give him space. He was nice but he is starting to say I am pushing him away. NC is the toughest thing I am going to have to do. Tomorrow I have to keep reminding myself that if I do talk to him or contact him in anway--we start ALL over. He says if I can just do ONE week--it may be all he needs. I feel like such a loser for not even being able to give one week....but I HAVE to. Good luck with your situation as well! You're not a loser . you love him . No fault of yours that's just life. NC is just to help YOU heal. Just do the best you can. BTW, dont buy the "next week" thing. Make sure he comes back to YOU. Not the other way around. Get rid df his cell#, email, fb' all that stuff. Move on with your life regardless of what he says. Actions speak louder than words ever will. Make HIM do the work for a change. If he wants to contact you, he will find a way. In the meantime, go skydiving. Plenty of nice looking , single, availabe guys.
Sassygirl2 Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 Me and my ex are doing NC also. I cant stop thinking about him. Today was supposed to be day 2 and I broke down. Sent the worst desperate voice mail. He called and said we will see each other again, have faith---but just give him space. He was nice but he is starting to say I am pushing him away. NC is the toughest thing I am going to have to do. Tomorrow I have to keep reminding myself that if I do talk to him or contact him in anway--we start ALL over. He says if I can just do ONE week--it may be all he needs. I feel like such a loser for not even being able to give one week....but I HAVE to. Good luck with your situation as well! I am wondering how you are holding up? I hope you are hanging in there....
EYECANDY000 Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 I am trying so hard not to contact my ex. So far, so good. It has been 6 days now. and I cracked at day 5 and almost called. I got so wound up and hysterical that all I wanted to do was call and let him know that I hurt and therefore he should be hurting too. but I called a friend. and she stopped me. this is her conversation to me. She told me : I need to resist the urge. time heals all wounds. allow that man to miss you. because he is so use to you running to him and jumping at him that you dont give him a chance to miss you. She said " you dont think he is over there thinking about you as much as you are thinking about him? Be strong.. stop sitting at home sulking. you think he is home feeling bad? No! hes out enjoying life and you should too. you gone call him and say what? you miss him? yes, he knows that.. that you love him? yes, he knows that too... so call him nagging and crying.. because then hes gone know he has power over you!So whatever you do dont call..
sparky26m Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 seriously dont contact your ex....you will hand them the balance of power,,i was doing well,,into gym etc, but then she contacted me over some mail of mine and i was back to square 1!!!!!!!!!!! annoying i know but know im feeling ok again and havent a clue if she will ever contact me,,she has a new bf( well an ex from 7 years ago!) so she has moved on so i have to now also if you contct you hand them the power ,and i know what ur gonna say,,no my ex is too sweet for games like that,,yeah so was mine and i was the boss in the relationship ,,i ended it last year,,she went through wanting what she couldnt have and i got back with her,,,then at xmas i wasnt putting effort and pushed her away and eventually she had enough,,, now i want what i cant have( i didnt really ever think id be like i have) and i handed her the power and she revelled in it a little,,when the tables are turned its crazy to ur mind my point is dont let her have the power and weaken your hand,,dont say u will always be there,,move on and see what happens,,she wont want a needy beaten up you,,she might one day want to contact you but as with my ex i dont really want her to right now as i know i have to heal and improve my life and so should you,,dont let her think your desp 4 her to come back,,,show her you are strong and stay nc,,,its tough but things like gym and these great posts on here help you through!!!
richardcruz Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Don't call them because people like me read posts from people like you to try to gain strength to proceed with NC :-) Seriously, I look at these type of posts as motivation to keep from giving in. I too feel like calling my ex, especially at nights. That's the hardest time for me. What Eyecandie's friend said is dead on. Our Exes already know that we love them and miss them. Us reminding them once more isn't going to make things 180 (unfortunately). We need to stick it out and get through the storm. We are in the thick of it and every time we give in, we put ourselves right back to were we started, thus prolonging the process. Please keep staying NC..its what is best for you...and me. I guess we just have to take things a day at a time. I miss my ex a lot, but she left me when I had told her that I wanted to work things out so I did my part. At least we can move forward with a free conscious knowing that we put every ounce of effort that we could in our relationships and it is now out of our hands. If our Exes want to call us, they know where to find us. Life isn't over because of this little hiccup. Things will work out the way they are intended to. There is this audio file called "let them go" on a site titled airjesus.com. It's really popular among LS'ers. I don't know your stance on religion, but there are some very good points made in the sermon that can even be appreciated at a secular level. I always hear it when I feel like giving in. Anyways, there is a part in the sermon when the pastor says " In order to get the new car in the garage, you have to get the old one out." In other words, sometimes we keep our true destiny from happening the way that it supposed to by keeping the wrong things around in our lives. We can't meet the right person if we keep on trying to keep these people in our lives despite the fact that they were willing to walk away from us. Sometimes we just have to LET THEM GO. Stay strong...for you, me, and the rest of the LSers going through heartbreak.
Recommended Posts