Ann-meri Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 I've been dating this guy for two years now. He is perfect in so many ways, and i love him. My only problem his his best friend: GIovanna. now let me tell you the whole story....before i started dating him, he use to live with his ex Giovanna. His ex was bisexual, and fell for this girl. And he confessed to me that at some point, he thought that he also had feelings for her. During the time that Giovanna was living with them, her boyfriend cheated on her and..well...my bf and his ex ended up having a "beginning" of a threesome with that girl. Now, he told me that he only when down on her, he didn't even kiss her? Don't wanna get into details. N-e ways...After all of this, He broke up with his ex and Giovanna when back with her boyfriend. AND my boyfriend stayed friends with her. Obviously, after telling me this story, I didn't want to meet the girl. It took about a year to finally accept meeting her. because..."honey she means so much to me" And so I did. I don't like her. She seems nice, but when i saw both of them together, I just couldn't stop thinking about what they did. It pisses me off that he is still friends with her. and that he sees her sometimes...and now that he is very affectionate with her. last time they went brunch that lasted the whole day. or so he says. I asked him what Giovanna's boyfriend thinks of this situation...and seems like that guy is ok with it because "they already explored those feelings " my question is...can a man, that has already had some sexual history with a woman, can ONLY be friendS?
RedDevil66 Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 YEP, my best friend for the last 27 yrs was my first BF who I was with for 6 yrs. We remained friends and are like brother and sister. His wife and GF's (after his marriage) were all cool with it and my ex and bf's were all cool with it. depends on the dynamics though. We were kids when we dated (Me 16, him 19) so maybe that's why we stayed friends.
abouttoloseit Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 I don't think it's a black and white answer. My current g/f is apparently "best friends" with her ex. Although he lives in a another country and what I would call a "best friend" doesn't really match up to what I see with them. Anyway, besides the point. I haven't stayed friends with any of my ex's. Simply because I find this weird and would be a little uncomfortable. But also, I don't see the point. In my view, nothing productive comes from it. And instead of moving forward, being friends with an ex is kinda like holding on to the past. Grow some and move on. I've told my current g/f I am not exactly over the moon about this. I mean what does she want me to to say? "AWESOME! You still hang out with a guy you used to f*ck and consider him your closest friend. Great, what's my role again?". But, I was raised to comprimise. See how things go. However, I think it is NOT wrong that you feel this way. But I wouldn't say it's wrong that he is best friends with her. But what matters is how YOU feel. I think ultimately, you will either have to talk/confront him and if it bothers you, its you or her. Not both. Or, if you feel you can trust her, which you probably won't...maybe you can resolve it? Some people stay friends with ex's. This Im ok with. Sometimes you have to if your friends are friends with said ex. But calling an ex a "best friend" I'd treat as suspicious. If they are the "best friend"...what chance do you have? My $0.2
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