Relationship ending after 4 yrs

[evilarmy97931]

So all week ive been reading forums and figured id finally make a post and see is anyone can put there thoughts to work and help me figure out the mess.

 

About a week ago my girlfriend of 4yrs decided to break off the relationship. We dated for a year before i moved and then summers id go visit her for 3 months and in the winter she would come here for 2-3 weeks.

 

While apart we usually talked almost daily. Sometimes we would play games, talk on the phone and watch tv, webcam.

 

So December 27th i went to visit her for a week and we had a great time except for one night when we visited some of my old friends and ending up walking in the freezing cold for awhile. Then january 3rd we both returned to where i live. Again a great week we went out and had alot of fun. Not once didn't she mention anything could be wrong at all. January 11th she left to return home and we both cried in the airport as we said good bye like always.

 

When i got home i noticed she left a letter on my desktop for me to read. It was a page long talking about how much she loved me and is going to miss me. She said she couldn't wait til the summer to be in my arms again. The kinda letter you would love to get from your girlfriend.

 

Then 21 days later she broke off the relationship. Saying that she has felt like breaking it off for some time now. This is where it gets kinda confusing for me. There was a lot of other things going on for her at the time.

 

Her step father and mother are fighting constantly and its been tough for her because her mom has talked about getting a divorce. Then her dog which she loved to death passed away which she took really hard.

 

I know she needed to get out of the house and do things to relax and relief all the stress. So she started to go out with her friend mike. I became worried about it because of how things looked from my view. I didnt think it was a problem her texting him over the two weeks we spent together knowing she has few friends. But what started to really alarm me was that she kept losing track of time when hanging out with him.

 

So i tried to talk to her about it and we got into an small argument over it. She said they were just friends. Shortly after she broke up with me but still wanted to be friends.

 

My problem is i'm not sure if i should cut communication with her or still be there for her because i really do love her.

 

The only conclusions i can really come to is that either mike is more than just a friend and is able to be there physically for her or that she really is just having a really rough time and needs space and time for herself. I believe i know her really well at this point. So the 2nd one sounds more like her but i cant help to think the 1st one could be it since she ended the relationship.

 

Sorry about the length of the post i figured more information is going to allow for a better response. I'm just looking for opinions i guess

[abdellost]

This is my story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t219668/

just in case you have any thoughts, its almost the same.

 

4 year and a half and she broke it off. Been 2 weeks and no contact at all. She used to cry if we dont see each other for 2 days and would call me every second shes free. the day before we broke up she was crying so hard that she needed me. We had a small argument, she was always stressed. Then the next day, the day we were supposed to have a blast because her mom was out of town and we could hang out with out worrying if her mom finds out (her mom has a huge problem with our relationship), she snapped and broke it off. saying shes not herelf, the last 2 years she was not who she wants to be. I dunno man, girls have this problem when their really stressed, they want to break free. People told me to give her time. 4 years and every day we talk and message and see each other, and 2 weeks is not enough time? A few months ago i forgot my cell at home, i thought i lost it in the streets so i didnt bother going home to look for it, and i received 430 MISSED CALLS and 21 messages from her. and she suddenly says shes not sure if she loves me? i dont get whats going on.

 

Best thing you can do is to have no contact with her for a few weeks. This mike fellow might be helping her go through the tough times (girls usually like a guy friend to help them ease their pain, dont ask me why). she might end up having a thing for him, or she might end up realizing she misses you. give it time i guess, thats the only advice i get from everyone.

[bluestraps]

My opinion is that she probably needs more from a relationship than you can give her. She wants or needs or probably both more emotional closeness and physical closeness.

 

We all know how women can change their minds and be totaly contradictory at times ,they have many thoughts going all at once its just how it is. Give her some time away from you you'll look better to her after awhile especialy if shes alone or if this other guy is not what she thought .