Author SilkRose Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 Also, my ex is so charming, I can't even begin to explain it. And he works in Sports, so his body is going to be... This may sound shallow but its not, when you love someone for who they are and they are this attractive, but you know that they will hurt your feelings. That is a tough place to be. I'm glad that I contacted him because after reading his email several times over I realised that he misses the sex, simple as that. And I want and deserve so much more than that, especially in light of our previous relationship. I just saw his motives so clearly and feel free because of it. I don't want to go back and repeat the same old behaviours and get hurt over and over by him. I am free and single, able to do and live as I want to so I am going to enjoy that and move on with my life. I am going out with friends this weekend and just moving forward with my studies and work and everything. It's not easy but I'm in a much better place now. I'm glad that I didn't try to start a relationship with anyone or get drunk a do something stupid. I just really tried to get over him and I'm not 100%, but I feel so much better.
kickintheaz Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I'm glad that I contacted him because after reading his email several times over I realised that he misses the sex, simple as that. And I want and deserve so much more than that, especially in light of our previous relationship. I just saw his motives so clearly and feel free because of it. I don't want to go back and repeat the same old behaviours and get hurt over and over by him. I am free and single, able to do and live as I want to so I am going to enjoy that and move on with my life. I am going out with friends this weekend and just moving forward with my studies and work and everything. It's not easy but I'm in a much better place now. I'm glad that I didn't try to start a relationship with anyone or get drunk a do something stupid. I just really tried to get over him and I'm not 100%, but I feel so much better. Silk.. just read your posts here from 7.03am to the one above.. see that change in you? keep at it.. you're doing good... now at the same time, see how much time you spent on this thread, wondering, commenting, talking bout ex, wavering from wanting to contact him, to contacting him to realising what he misses.... thats time ya can't get back.. you need to channel that energy and focus elsewhere.. Mr Wonderful is a great distraction for you, imagine if you put as much time, energy and thought into him? Ex is gone, its tough I know, but the more you pine over him the longer it takes to heal.. go with what feels right with new boy, no pressure and please Silk.,.. PLEASE stop thinking that you are unworthy, that you are not g/f material, all those bad things.. sit down and REALLY think what you have good in your life.. think of who you were when dumbass ex met you and I call him dumbass ex cos he let you go so he is!!! ok, we've all been rejected to some degree, but ya know what, its THEIR loss, not ours.. yeah we feel hurt and pain and I hope they do too... do I think ex is thinking about me and misses me? I sure do, and I really hope she does, but at the same time I don't have to worry bout her feelings now.. her loss, plain and simple... I have a couple of dates lined up, guilt free on my behalf, these people wanna spend time with me and get to know me so I am gonna be that guy that Ex met 4 years ago.. but a slightly improved in a 'i know what i want and i know how not to fck it up' kinda way. keep going silk, you're well on the way to recovery now.. ya just need to clear those last few thoughts of ex, and when he appears in your head, merge Mr Wonderful in front of him and I betcha ya start feeling good at that instant!!
Author SilkRose Posted February 23, 2010 Author Posted February 23, 2010 (edited) Silk.. just read your posts here from 7.03am to the one above.. see that change in you? keep at it.. you're doing good... now at the same time, see how much time you spent on this thread, wondering, commenting, talking bout ex, wavering from wanting to contact him, to contacting him to realising what he misses.... thats time ya can't get back.. you need to channel that energy and focus elsewhere.. Mr Wonderful is a great distraction for you, imagine if you put as much time, energy and thought into him? Ex is gone, its tough I know, but the more you pine over him the longer it takes to heal.. go with what feels right with new boy, no pressure and please Silk.,.. PLEASE stop thinking that you are unworthy, that you are not g/f material, all those bad things.. sit down and REALLY think what you have good in your life.. think of who you were when dumbass ex met you and I call him dumbass ex cos he let you go so he is!!! ok, we've all been rejected to some degree, but ya know what, its THEIR loss, not ours.. yeah we feel hurt and pain and I hope they do too... do I think ex is thinking about me and misses me? I sure do, and I really hope she does, but at the same time I don't have to worry bout her feelings now.. her loss, plain and simple... I have a couple of dates lined up, guilt free on my behalf, these people wanna spend time with me and get to know me so I am gonna be that guy that Ex met 4 years ago.. but a slightly improved in a 'i know what i want and i know how not to fck it up' kinda way. keep going silk, you're well on the way to recovery now.. ya just need to clear those last few thoughts of ex, and when he appears in your head, merge Mr Wonderful in front of him and I betcha ya start feeling good at that instant!! Thanks Kick! Your funny and sweet post was just what I needed to read. I know I deserve better and Mr Wonderful is great, treats me so well. I know I'm not ready for something full on but he's just treating me in a friendly and respectful way which is great. Whether or not he's right for me, only time will tell, but like you said, it's about improving, learning from the past and trying to keep a positive attitude. It's not easy but it feels a lot better than feeling rejected, unappreciated and sad. It feels a whole lot better than that. I used to have so much fun, socialise with friends, find it easier to get good grades. And this situation has made me so sad. I wasn't perfect when I met my ex, but I was happier and I think that's I'm getting back to that, and feeling better about myself. Edited February 23, 2010 by SilkRose Incomplete post.
aroll32 Posted February 25, 2010 Posted February 25, 2010 Silk you sound like you're doing real well. I'm glad to see that you are done with getting mistreated like that. We should all learn from our mistakes. And I think that you are at that point, to not wanting to be around your ex anymore, even though you may still love and care about him. It's better for both of you to just be friends, nothing else. Since you truly care about him, it would make sense just to leave him alone, and it shows you have really good self esteem. Also, neither one of you has a chance to get hurt if you leave him alone. I am happy to see you headed in this direction, and hopefully something good will come out of this new guy?
Author SilkRose Posted February 26, 2010 Author Posted February 26, 2010 Silk you sound like you're doing real well. I'm glad to see that you are done with getting mistreated like that. We should all learn from our mistakes. And I think that you are at that point, to not wanting to be around your ex anymore, even though you may still love and care about him. It's better for both of you to just be friends, nothing else. Since you truly care about him, it would make sense just to leave him alone, and it shows you have really good self esteem. Also, neither one of you has a chance to get hurt if you leave him alone. I am happy to see you headed in this direction, and hopefully something good will come out of this new guy? Thanks I am trying to heal. The message he sent me, it was so unfair, it's like he expects me to just have sex with him when he comes back, on his terms. It really upset me. Because we had agreed to be friends and now he's flirting and expecting me to be grateful that he wants to see me....WTF? He knows how much I'm hurting and that's all he's thinking about. It really upset me but I know that I deserve better. I admit that I miss being intimate with him but I know that in time I can get over that and just feel even better about myself. Guys do ask me out, even his friends are interested, I wouldn't do anything with them but I have options and he acts like I don't. He doesn't know I went out with the other guy, I didn't want to tell him and hurt his feelings. I don't want to jump into another relationship and start a rebound thing either. This celibacy thing is really helping me out right now.
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