Rulebreaker Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 Up til I have never really been single since I entered the working world and I don't really know how to do it. I need practice. Is going to bars alone a good idea or does it make me look like a loser? I did this tonight with inconclusive results.
You'reasian Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 Up til I have never really been single since I entered the working world and I don't really know how to do it. I need practice. Is going to bars alone a good idea or does it make me look like a loser? I did this tonight with inconclusive results. For guys, its ok. Guys go, grab a drink, watch sports networks and maybe socialize or stay in their bubble. For women, don't know?
counterman Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 Watching sports at a bar and having a drink is awesome.
USMCHokie Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 I assume you're female? If that's the case, you need to appear approachable. Chat with the bartender or those that are sitting near you at the bar. If someone come up next to you to order a drink and look at you, look back and smile. By showing others that you are willing to talk to people, they will be more apt to talk to you. Going to bars solo doesn't necessarily make you a loser...and it's MUCH easier when you become a regular at certain establishments...where the bartenders and other regulars know you...it makes it a lot easier to make new friends and meet new people every time you go out...the bar will soon become a huge social network for you...but it will obviously take some time and effort to develop that network...
Author Rulebreaker Posted February 10, 2010 Author Posted February 10, 2010 Yes, I'm a girl. I would love to become a "regular" somewhere, but I am not a heavy drinker, and a lot of places are too smoky. I feel awkward just sitting there. I didn't really feel like anyone came up and looked at me tonight other than the one guy sitting next to me. It is possible that I give off an unapproachable vibe, but I'm not sure because it was "salsa night" and most people seemed paired up or in friend groups.
USMCHokie Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 Yes, I'm a girl. I would love to become a "regular" somewhere, but I am not a heavy drinker, and a lot of places are too smoky. I feel awkward just sitting there. I didn't really feel like anyone came up and looked at me tonight other than the one guy sitting next to me. It is possible that I give off an unapproachable vibe, but I'm not sure because it was "salsa night" and most people seemed paired up or in friend groups. Well maybe bars are not the best place for you...it often isn't the best place for a lot of people...oftentimes guys are either creepers or too timid to approach you because they're afraid that you don't want to be bothered... Try joining some social groups in your area,clubs, or even intramural sports...these are much more casual environments where you get to meet people that share a common interest with you... Heck, take some salsa dance classes...
D-Lish Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 I went to a bar alone while on vacation alone last x-mas- but it was during the day, and poolside. Getting hit on by creeps seemed to be a never ending theme. Luckily, I was befriended by the wait staff and had companions for the duration of my trip. When I first moved back to my parents house after losing my business, I found myself in a small boring town, and I went to a local pub one evening and sat at the bar. I met a couple people that night and we're still friends to this day. You have to go where there is a game on, so you have something to watch/focus on. Somehow, it doesn't feel so awkward when there is a giant TV to stare at.
You'reasian Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 Yes, I'm a girl. I would love to become a "regular" somewhere, but I am not a heavy drinker, and a lot of places are too smoky. I feel awkward just sitting there. I didn't really feel like anyone came up and looked at me tonight other than the one guy sitting next to me. It is possible that I give off an unapproachable vibe, but I'm not sure because it was "salsa night" and most people seemed paired up or in friend groups. Salsa nights are the best....if you can do it. Just tap someone on the shoulder and ask them to dance; 9 times out of 10 - they'll let you. If you can't do it, you'll be back on the sidelines fast though.
Barky Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 To really throw guys for a loop at a bar, come in, have a drink, and bring a book by the Marquis de Sade.
Author Rulebreaker Posted February 10, 2010 Author Posted February 10, 2010 Not allowed to ask people to dance for the next five and a half months due to my experiment applying the "Rules" I took dance lessons awhile back that included a very rudimentary salsa but I doubt I'd pass muster after doing something so bold as to ask a guy to dance.
sid3 Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 Do yourself a huge favor and ditch the rules crap. Live your life using common sense instead of some poorly conceived rules written by an idiot.
CarrieT Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 Not allowed to ask people to dance for the next five and a half months due to my experiment applying the "Rules" I took dance lessons awhile back that included a very rudimentary salsa but I doubt I'd pass muster after doing something so bold as to ask a guy to dance. What the heck are the "Rules" that you are applying and WHY? I'm a middle-aged woman and I'm not a heavy drinker so I avoid the bars completely. But I'm thinking about taking dance lessons as well...
Barky Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 Do yourself a huge favor and ditch the rules crap. Live your life using common sense instead of some poorly conceived rules written by an idiot. If you read her blog you'll realize that she doesn't actually want a date for the next 6 months. The Rules will assure her that she gets her desire
Ms. Joolie Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 I went to a bar/club solo once, and made friends with the staff there. I had a good time, so I returned the next week. I met the manager and eventually I started serving drinks and making tips. haha. It was fun. Met lots of people, and a lot of guys, too, of course. So when you do go solo to a bar, you either wait until you are approached by someone, or you begin to mingle. It's a great scene to mingle and have a good time, but mingling and enjoying yourself can be done at any social scene.
Author Rulebreaker Posted February 10, 2010 Author Posted February 10, 2010 What the heck are the "Rules" that you are applying and WHY? I'm a middle-aged woman and I'm not a heavy drinker so I avoid the bars completely. But I'm thinking about taking dance lessons as well... See my blog if you're interested in that. It's sort of an experiment for me. I'm trying to apply them strictly for 6 months and then after that I'll sort of consider what I liked about them and what I didn't. It's very interesting so far.
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