Latinguy Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 it is ok to stay married just for the sake of the kid? financially I cannot separate right now, also my son is too young ( 6 to 8 year old). what do you think?
blair08 Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 You're gonna get lots of different opinions on this. But, what it all comes down to is, what it is you feel you need to do. So this just my opinion. I think divorce can hurt all involved. However, I think staying, can also hurt kids more in the long run. IMO, I would rather come from a broken home, than to stay in a broken home. And I sure couldn't see doing that to my kids, to just stay for them. I wouldn;'t want them to think thats the way relationships are supposed be. Kids know when things aren't right with their parents. I also understand people stay for lots of different reasons, and while the intensions might be good to stay, the outcome of staying isn't always a good one.
angie2443 Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 it is ok to stay married just for the sake of the kid? financially I cannot separate right now, also my son is too young ( 6 to 8 year old). what do you think? It would help if you gave more info about your situation.
JackJack Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Whats the rest of your story? How bad are things? Have you all tried counseling? Do you want to try and salvage anything or is this a done deal? If you want out bad enough, and money is the issue, I'm sure something can be worked out.
carhill Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 OP, welcome to LS You can do anything you set your mind to. All you need is a plan. Tell me, was your son a planned pregnancy, one where you had every duck in a row before conception was contemplated? MC is far cheaper than divorce. Have you tried it?
loveandrockets Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 I'm in the exact same situation, my son is 7, and we are very close, lots of sports together, and I've spent more time with him than any dad I know has spent with his kids. But my wife is a needy headcase. We socialize separately, and I'm being pushed to the edge trying to keep this thing together.
angie2443 Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 I just remembered your other post. I think if your wife continues her relationship with the man at work, then it is best to divorce. I would see a lawyer and talk to them about your options so you know where you stand. If you choose to work on your marriage, your wife has to end her friendship with the other man and work on the marriage with you. I would definately recommend marriage counselling if you go this route.
Author Latinguy Posted February 10, 2010 Author Posted February 10, 2010 Thanks for the advices, one thing she will no be attending Marriage Counseling, She says is the most ridiculous thing to do, let other give you advice..
JackJack Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 Thanks for the advices, one thing she will no be attending Marriage Counseling, She says is the most ridiculous thing to do, let other give you advice.. Of course she thinks that. She doesn't want to know she has a hand in anything, nor does she want to hear anything that might be the truth. People like that you can not help. It looks like its up to you for your choice on what to do.
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 This is crazy! if she doesnt want to do IC, MC or stop talking to this other man who she is having an EA with right now this minute. Then suggest you go over to the courthouse ASAP see a lawyer and start seperating your property and finances. Thngs wont change unless she sees you are serious about things. The time to sit on your hands is over. IT's time to take action, no more mister nice guy. oh and one last thing alert this guys wife to what he's doing I bet that would throw a wrench in his plans. and if your wife comes home and complains she wants a divorce hand her your lawyers number and tell her to get out! This isnt a marriage, it's a massacre. Time for you to make it come to a head, whether it's her leaving or her commiting 100% to it. No one should go through what your going through. man or woman.
Eve Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 I would leave. Simply take the kid with me and get on with my life. What was described is not a marriage. Dont think that the little one doesnt know something is going on. In my Husbands situation with his ex (the skanky, uneducated, cheap, blonde, slut-marraige wrecker) he gave her two weeks to consider counselling. After that the door closed forever. Life is too short for all that nonsense. It took him one and a half years to recover financially but had his integrity in tact... and remained hott and not all sucked out and miserable. OP, never let someone stay in your life that doesnt want you for who you are, I say. Take care, Eve xx
nddb Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 Don't. You can't fake happiness. And the kids will sense the tension and it will screw them up for life as they have a skewed sense of what a healthy loving relationship is like. Most people who say they stay for the kids end up with kids who grew up and wish their parents had divorced instead of putting them through the childhood hell.
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