delajoonal Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 just wanted to say HI to everyone..it's been SOOO long..im sorry.. so much going on...divorce court has been taking months and months, frozen assets, etc....good news, my stbxh are actually friends now. he is happy in his new R, with the OW, and well, honestly, i am happy for him...i realized after a year of therapy, he was in love with me for 15 years, but i was NOT in love with him...and well, at some point, he needed to be loved...anyway...he is happy, i am happy for him and i have truly moved on....and IT feels good, i can tell u that. once u let go of the anger, resentment, etc..and just move on...IT feels amazing..and GREAT things begin to happen....like maybe even a NEW love of ur own....tee hee:love: so, i am one of those, that is coming back after a year of intense therapy, divorce groups, etc...to tell you..IT DOES GET BETTER..i used to think HOW, how can IT ever get better, i was dying inside.. but like i said, once u let go and TRULY move on and in ur heart can accept and be happy for your WS....life does get much easier and good things begin to happen. i miss u all...and hope u are all doing well...feel free to email me directly..most of u from 'our' group know my info...so say hi or if u wanna chat too? always.. dela;)
LisaUk Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Hi Dela So good to see you on the boards, been a while! Missed you! Glad to hear things are looking up for you, keep posting!
nobmagnet Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 yes please keep posting you sound you have a lot of very good advice to give. nobby xxxx
hopesndreams Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 just wanted to say HI to everyone..it's been SOOO long..im sorry.. so much going on...divorce court has been taking months and months, frozen assets, etc....good news, my stbxh are actually friends now. he is happy in his new R, with the OW, and well, honestly, i am happy for him...i realized after a year of therapy, he was in love with me for 15 years, but i was NOT in love with him...and well, at some point, he needed to be loved...anyway...he is happy, i am happy for him and i have truly moved on....and IT feels good, i can tell u that. once u let go of the anger, resentment, etc..and just move on...IT feels amazing..and GREAT things begin to happen....like maybe even a NEW love of ur own....tee hee:love: so, i am one of those, that is coming back after a year of intense therapy, divorce groups, etc...to tell you..IT DOES GET BETTER..i used to think HOW, how can IT ever get better, i was dying inside.. but like i said, once u let go and TRULY move on and in ur heart can accept and be happy for your WS....life does get much easier and good things begin to happen. i miss u all...and hope u are all doing well...feel free to email me directly..most of u from 'our' group know my info...so say hi or if u wanna chat too? always.. dela;) Hey, glad things are looking up for you. My question is, did it take you a year of therapy, etc to then find out you never loved him anyway? I don't understand your post. You know, I don't give a rats a** if my stbxh is happy or not after the h*ll he has put me through. I have accepted the M is over but for the life of me, I can't get the SOB outta my head!
tojaz Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 :bunny::bunny:Dela!!!!!!:bunny::bunny: Miss hearing from you and so glad to hear your doing well. Drop me aline when you get a sec and give me an update. Keep smiling Lil' Sis! TOJAZ
Author delajoonal Posted February 12, 2010 Author Posted February 12, 2010 hopesanddreams... how are you? sure hope u r doing OK?.. i can say that yes it took me a year of intense therapy, along with the fact i knew it in my heart all along i loved my stbxh, but NOT in love and LS was an amazing HUGE part of my healing process ...i didn't even let my stbxh make love to me on our wedding night...THAT alone should have been MY RED FLAG...but he was kind and good and i did love him, just NOT in love. not sure what or when it changed this past year, but i started thinking..good for him...to have THOSE butterflies and to be IN LOVE is amazing....stbxh fell OUT of love with me, cause i was NOT giving it back...that took therapy...and a big fat DUH on my part..LOL i AM truly happy for him...we are good friends now..the way IT should have been the past 15 years...i do miss him in my life daily...after so many years...its to be expected... but i can say this too...when i finally LET GO of ALL that anger, resentment and bitterness, i just Prayed alot..ALOT this past year... and anyway, all these great things started happening for me and to me.. i wouldnt' even know where to begin? but i do know once i let go of all that crap in my heart....i felt a huge relief and open for LOVE for myself.. for my friends, long forgotten friends back in my life.. and....... guess what, i found it...wasn't even looking, NEVER saw it coming... the LOVE..the IN LOVE..of my life! and now i finally SEE what being IN LOVE truly means...and what a wedding NIGHT should be like..LOL...although we are not married...but we are serious and commited and i am happy to be in a relationship...and one that i am actually in LOVE in. funny thing is we both were in loveless marriages, the man i am with now, was has been divorced for 5 years now...and he was never in love with his wife and i was not in love with my husband...so now we are happy and giddy like two silly teenagers and it is amazing... we actually have even talked about getting married...LOL..can u believe that, after ALL the crap we have been thru with our X's..LOL i truly TRULY hope that this can happen for you as well.. i KNOW it can..it just takes letting go of ALL the bad in your heart..and believe me, i SO NOW how hard that process can be... i'll tell you, i NEVER would have believed this a year ago..oh i was angry and bitter.. i was literally spinning out of control daily...i remember reading other posts of BS's that came back a year or 2 later and said how happy they were and found true love after being in a cruddy marriage for so long..what were they so angry and upset about when their WS's left...they did them a favor, etc. etc... well, i am now a believer..i am even sewing again, which is MY FIRST love and had not been able to for 13 months now..NOT even to fix a ripped hem..LOL.. ...this man, whom by the by, i have known for 35 years...funny right, we grew up one block from each other and went to school together our whole lives...but agreed, UNTIL NOW, we never would have made it...sometimes it just takes the right person at the right time... ... thsi man gave me hope and the dreams and aspirations i had before i let my loveless marriage destroy what was in my heart...i love to sew again and create and listen to all kinds of music and i can even listen to my wedding song and smile and sing along with out ONE tear...just smile and am thankful for the time i did have with my XH...he was good to me...until he cheated on me...but it was coming, i was just ignoring it all.. anyway i am rambling..sorry.. please feel free to message me anytime. tojaz...big bro..how are you? miss our chats ALOT... email me sometime huh?.. i sure hope U R WELL ??? love u all truly..i couldn't have done any of this with out any single one of you on this board...that is from my heart...LS and all u members were my salvation and hope...and i thank you again so much! i will continue to post and read as much as i can, now that i am working again...time is hard to get these days..LOL also, who knows where my NEW relationship will go?..i could end up on the other side again...i Pray i don't...but i am just enjoying each day i have right now...:love:
PWSX3 Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 WOW!!!!!! I'm so happy for you, good to see things are turning around.... Good to hear from you again as well..... I really do believe if we use this time in our life to "REALLY" do the work to better ourselves, that God will do wonderful things for us.....
skywriter Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Hi dela, I had to reply when I saw you'd posted. I believe it was around the Christmas Holidays when I last replied to any of your post. You were sounding a bit depressed then. So, it's nice to hear that you are healing emotionally and in good spirits now. I understand what you are describing abt healing, accepting and moving on. It is odd but wonderful to get to that place and be ok again. To be friends with your ex-H and wish only good things for them. Foe myself it was empowering, especially knowing that I was going to be alright. I've read many of your replies to others on LS and it'll be very nice to see you around here. I have alot of respect for you and feel you have alot to offer others. Take care.
Gunny376 Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 You'd never know by looking We were ever more than strangers But, we're celebrating ten years Of wedded bliss She made the rounds as usual While, I sit here stoned, as usual Lord, I can't believe we survived Ten years of this! Ten years together A million nights alone Whose mistake is it? What do we blame it on? If someone else would tell me What I already know in my mind I'm afraid I'd start talking With my fists But, I know.. I'm lieing What ain't dead, by now is dying What in hell kept us together For ten years of this? Ten years together A million nights alone! Whose mistake is it? What do we blame it on? Maybe you start cheating Because you married so young Whatever it is, I cain't go home I know, I cain't take it Too long, I've had to fake it I just don't think we can make it Through ten more years of this...! Your ahead of the game!
Author delajoonal Posted February 12, 2010 Author Posted February 12, 2010 wow! Gunny..that was amazing!! did u pen that poem it is beautiful and heart wrenching all at the same time. how are you..i sure MISS ALL of u so much... so glad to have found my way back:D skywriter...another huge WOW! thank you:) what an amazing gift u gave me today....to know that my words and experiences and pain was not all for nothing...that IT all has been read and is helping others... as did SOOO many other posts like mine...i read theirs and really learned alot about myself, marriage, relationships, life period... LS is the most blessed place on earth..and to those who have not found IT yet...i pray they ALL do;) thank you again for such kind words. PWX...how are you friend? i miss ur messages and posts too.. u have and had sooo many sprititually lifting and enlightening things to say and also some tough love when needed.... i knew if i kept working on my prayers, keeping the faith that God will take me in the direction i am needed to be in...life would all come together. i just finally let go of all that anger and hurt and you know the drill..LOL and like i said, so many nice things began to happen... not just finding a new love..this man i adore....but my love for sewing again, being here for my friends, whom are always in a crisis..LOL...so, i needed to put my own crap aside and start being around for the people i love.. anyway...i will keep checking back..and please all my LS friends...always feel free to email or PM me, if u wanna chat privately... again, i am so glad i found my way back...i sure missed u all so much.. and also i realized, just because my life is going so well, i STILL need LS and therapy and God.... have a FABULOUS weekend!! lv, dela:love:
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