Latinguy Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Yeah, another one... I have been married for 12 years. Have a 7 year old boy... no weight issues or anything like that. But mi wife do not take sex as a priority in the marriage. We pretty much is about 1x a month. She does not like the Planned sex, So I keep asking almost every day to have sex, and most of the time is no, Do I need to keep begging for sex? and when she agree to have sex, is something like " let do it quick" or not foreplay.. Sometimes when we drop the kid to a paydate and we are alone, I ask for sex, she agrees but then she go to the computer, so other stuffs, so when about 30 minutes o something, she say, ok let do it quick so we can go a pickup up son. One thing, she initiate the sex ( before she did not), but under those circuntances.. She always says the the work, the kid, the weather, her period, tired, sleepy, want to watch TV, tomorrow, saturday. One day, she told me that I am always ready, I told her, because I do not know when you are going to be ready, in a middle of that I told her that I will not ask again. Sometime we have been 6 months without sex, If i do not ask that could be more. Any advise? Do i give her an ultimatum? another one?
whichwayisup Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Let her know it's really important to make time for one another. Being a parent is important, but so is being husband and wife! You two need to be intimate and connect, and it's not just about 'sex', it's about being close and wanting eachother. Make time for one another. Get a sitter and go out for a nice dinner, see a movie, or do something fun as a couple. Woo her! Bring her flowers and make her feel special, loved and cared for. It could be she just doesn't feel sexy anymore, is tired and as much as she loves you, making an effort to be sexual just takes alot out of her. That's wrong ofcourse, but understanding where her frame of mind is, could help sort this out. She has to make you a priority and not be on the backburner. Talk to her, be honest but respectful and considerate. Hopefully she'll respond in a positive way and want to have more intimate time with you.
loveandrockets Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 Sometime we have been 6 months without sex we're going on two years
kardee7 Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 I think sometimes when you go without sex for so long it becomes difficult to start again, almost as if it's awkward to be intimate. Several suggestions: as mentioned above, try sitting down and have an honest discussion about it or if that's not possible, maybe consider going to a counselor. Yes, I know people get nervous about discussing things like this in front of other people but honestly it can surprise you how much better things can be if discussed. One thing I can say is that sometimes when there is no sex or intimacy the emotional part of the relationship can suffer. Having both physical and an emotional connection is the best way not to get bored in a relationship. Good luck!
JackJack Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 I might be wrong, but I was thinking someone else said in another thread you have, that she was seeing some man at her work? If that is so, maybe thats why she isn't interested in sex with you. You also stated you wondered if you should stay for the childs sake and that she will NOT go to counseling. You need to really sit down and think about what you want/need to do. Right now it sounds as if she she isn't willing to work on anything.
asireen Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Your story is pretty much the same as mine. Mercy sex once a month, she is always finding excuses. We have not been intimate now for 4 years. After 10 years of marriage, I threw in the towel. I have had multiple affairs. I think she knows, but looks the other way. I am a good father and provider for our child and my wife. Suits me fine, and I am going to continue this lifestyle. Not preferred, but practical for me. If she asks for divorce, she can have it. Our only child will be 18 this year.
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