Sadbutrelieved Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 My so-called BF of 8 years found someone else and didn't even tell me. He's been seeing her for over a month, planning their life together, and meanwhile he was in here as late as Friday having lunch with me and borrowing a few bucks for smokes. I feel like such a fool. I found out on Facebook. The anger phase hit yesterday as he started badgering me about picking up some things he has stored at my house, and he has a surprise coming when he tries to use his printer. I just got a text from him asking me for $80, the leftover from his tax return money that I was holding for him because he's irresponsible and needs to pay a fine with it. He owes me about 10 grand, but has no problem asking for his measly $80. There's a whole laundry list of nasty things he did that I won't go into, and I know that it's best to have him out of my life, but what do I do when the grief sets in? I realize I'm grieving for losing something I never had in the first place, as he has sociopathic tendencies and I think he was using me the whole time, but it's still there. I had feelings for him whether he did for me or not, and I'm not sure I can even hand him his $80 without wanting to slap him across the face. What kind of soulless bastard just finds someone else and doesn't even tell the person who has been with him through bad and good for the last 8 years? How do you handle the anger and grief? I want to act like I don't have a care in the world when he comes to get his money and stuff, but I don't know if I can pull it off. Any hints? Thanks.
Silver_star Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 My so-called BF of 8 years found someone else and didn't even tell me. He's been seeing her for over a month, planning their life together, and meanwhile he was in here as late as Friday having lunch with me and borrowing a few bucks for smokes. I feel like such a fool. I found out on Facebook. The anger phase hit yesterday as he started badgering me about picking up some things he has stored at my house, and he has a surprise coming when he tries to use his printer. I just got a text from him asking me for $80, the leftover from his tax return money that I was holding for him because he's irresponsible and needs to pay a fine with it. He owes me about 10 grand, but has no problem asking for his measly $80. There's a whole laundry list of nasty things he did that I won't go into, and I know that it's best to have him out of my life, but what do I do when the grief sets in? I realize I'm grieving for losing something I never had in the first place, as he has sociopathic tendencies and I think he was using me the whole time, but it's still there. I had feelings for him whether he did for me or not, and I'm not sure I can even hand him his $80 without wanting to slap him across the face. What kind of soulless bastard just finds someone else and doesn't even tell the person who has been with him through bad and good for the last 8 years? How do you handle the anger and grief? I want to act like I don't have a care in the world when he comes to get his money and stuff, but I don't know if I can pull it off. Any hints? Thanks. WOW. he sounds like a selfish *******. He owed you 10 grand right? SO keep the 80 and now he can owe you $9'920. That is ridiculous. HE should not be taking you money. HE already took everything from you. CUT HIM OFF. IF you just want him out of your life, forget about the money. leave your door locked (change the locks if you need) delete him from yuor phone, your facebook and your life because he is not worth your time and energy. HE is a USER!
Author Sadbutrelieved Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 (edited) If I don't give him his $80, he'll probably retaliate in a bad way. I just want it over and done with. He's due here any minute. ETA: he came and went, it was over in about 10 seconds. He didn't say one word, I just handed him the money and turned my back, and he left. I could so mess him over if I wanted to, but I'm trying to hold onto my dignity and take the high road. Edited February 9, 2010 by Sadbutrelieved
Author Sadbutrelieved Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 What a deadbeat he is. I just got an email from his mother asking me if he's really almost homeless and needing $400 for rent by Thursday. Apparently he's in the college library on the computers (where I work for god's sake). I told her I have no idea, ask his new girlfriend and she was shocked. She said she is tired of his incessant requests for money every month and that she's ignored his last few emails because of it and she can't give him anything.
Silver_star Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 What a deadbeat he is. I just got an email from his mother asking me if he's really almost homeless and needing $400 for rent by Thursday. Apparently he's in the college library on the computers (where I work for god's sake). I told her I have no idea, ask his new girlfriend and she was shocked. She said she is tired of his incessant requests for money every month and that she's ignored his last few emails because of it and she can't give him anything. Sounds like ur not the only one he uses for money. Give him the 80 bucks and is he tries to retatliate in a bad way (tell him ur calling the cops and threaten to get other people of authority involved) Maybe get a restraining order? Sounds like hes got other BIG issues. He lies to eveeryone, and this new girl, well its not gonig to be long before he is asking her for money too...real attractive. Hes a loser, be thankful that this happened now, and not another 10G down the road.
Author Sadbutrelieved Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 You're right Silver_Star, better now than later after more money is gone. He'll never be able to pay any of it back, and I'm not going to ask. I want no contact with him. The last tie to break is getting his stuff out of my house. I want friends to be here when he comes to get his stupid crap because I don't trust him at all. The idiot had enough to pay two months' worth of rent just from his tax return...probably blew it all on the new girl. I hope mommy puts him on ignore like she said she was going to. Thank you for your replies today
Silver_star Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 You're right Silver_Star, better now than later after more money is gone. He'll never be able to pay any of it back, and I'm not going to ask. I want no contact with him. The last tie to break is getting his stuff out of my house. I want friends to be here when he comes to get his stupid crap because I don't trust him at all. The idiot had enough to pay two months' worth of rent just from his tax return...probably blew it all on the new girl. I hope mommy puts him on ignore like she said she was going to. Thank you for your replies today Yea..if i were u id put his **** in a box on the front door step. But if ur gonna be nice and let him come get his ****...please do have friends there and watch him like a hawk and make sure he only takes what is his. You may want to gather it all up before he comes, and put any valuables away. Not even kidding. I dont know what hes doing with that money, but who cares..hes out of ur life. Thats worth more than money!
Author Sadbutrelieved Posted February 10, 2010 Author Posted February 10, 2010 That's what I plan to do. I already have a friend of mine (who mamasboy hates) lined up to be here, and we're going to put everything in the kitchen where he can just take it right out through the sliding door without coming any further into the house. I don't trust him a bit. He's the type who'd snag a quarter if I left one on the floor lol I'd like to throw it all out in the snow, or take it to Goodwill and tell him he'll find it all on aisle 6, but I won't. It's fun to think about though.
You'reasian Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 (edited) My so-called BF of 8 years found someone else and didn't even tell me. He's been seeing her for over a month, planning their life together, and meanwhile he was in here as late as Friday having lunch with me and borrowing a few bucks for smokes. I feel like such a fool. I found out on Facebook. The anger phase hit yesterday as he started badgering me about picking up some things he has stored at my house, and he has a surprise coming when he tries to use his printer. I just got a text from him asking me for $80, the leftover from his tax return money that I was holding for him because he's irresponsible and needs to pay a fine with it. He owes me about 10 grand, but has no problem asking for his measly $80. There's a whole laundry list of nasty things he did that I won't go into, and I know that it's best to have him out of my life, but what do I do when the grief sets in? I realize I'm grieving for losing something I never had in the first place, as he has sociopathic tendencies and I think he was using me the whole time, but it's still there. I had feelings for him whether he did for me or not, and I'm not sure I can even hand him his $80 without wanting to slap him across the face. What kind of soulless bastard just finds someone else and doesn't even tell the person who has been with him through bad and good for the last 8 years? How do you handle the anger and grief? I want to act like I don't have a care in the world when he comes to get his money and stuff, but I don't know if I can pull it off. Any hints? Thanks. Tough. I am very sorry to hear this Sadbutrelieved. Tell him that you need to talk to him about it all for his own good! He owes you 10 grand? Take him to court. Contract involved? Edited February 10, 2010 by You'reasian
Author Sadbutrelieved Posted February 10, 2010 Author Posted February 10, 2010 It wouldn't do any good to take him to court. He's unemployed and likely to remain that way because of his laziness. He feels entitled to have someone else take care of him. I don't need the drama that would result from trying to collect anything from him. I'd rather just let it and him go and get my life back. Talking to him won't do any good either. He doesn't have the capacity to understand that he's the one in the wrong, ever. The blame always goes to someone else. I really think he's a sociopath; at least, he has almost all of the symptoms of being one. Even though it was a hard way to find out that we are broken up, I really do feel relieved that he's gone because he is like a parasite with both money and emotions. It took so much energy to deal with his dramas. I'd rather focus that energy back on myself now and let him go.
Beeotch Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 My so-called BF of 8 years found someone else and didn't even tell me. He's been seeing her for over a month, planning their life together, and meanwhile he was in here as late as Friday having lunch with me and borrowing a few bucks for smokes. I feel like such a fool. I found out on Facebook. The anger phase hit yesterday as he started badgering me about picking up some things he has stored at my house, and he has a surprise coming when he tries to use his printer. I just got a text from him asking me for $80, the leftover from his tax return money that I was holding for him because he's irresponsible and needs to pay a fine with it. He owes me about 10 grand, but has no problem asking for his measly $80. There's a whole laundry list of nasty things he did that I won't go into, and I know that it's best to have him out of my life, but what do I do when the grief sets in? I realize I'm grieving for losing something I never had in the first place, as he has sociopathic tendencies and I think he was using me the whole time, but it's still there. I had feelings for him whether he did for me or not, and I'm not sure I can even hand him his $80 without wanting to slap him across the face. What kind of soulless bastard just finds someone else and doesn't even tell the person who has been with him through bad and good for the last 8 years? How do you handle the anger and grief? I want to act like I don't have a care in the world when he comes to get his money and stuff, but I don't know if I can pull it off. Any hints? Thanks. Awww....I'm sorry for what you're going through. I think most of us know that feeling of anger, grief and relief then the cycle starts again. It is really hard and emotionally draining and confusing when your ex has done a lot and proven that they're not the one for you and you still have feelings for them. You tell yourself all kinds of things as the facts stare you in the face but the feelings don't disappear. It's really tough but what I've learned is that the feelings are transient and they go away. The ANNOYING part is that for a while you're going to be on the rollercoaster. I HATED that. Where one day you feel fine and empowered and the next lonely, upset, hurt. I hated that feeling of thinking im finally going to start feeling better and then it's like SIKE! But then eventually you hit a plateau where you get off the rollercoaster and start feeling better. There may be one or two days you may still feel bad but it will be nowhere like before and last even shorter.That's where I'm at now 11 months post break up. So just remember that you're going to have those feelings but still try to use your head. I would probably just mail the money to him or something so I would not have to see him....
You'reasian Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 It wouldn't do any good to take him to court. He's unemployed and likely to remain that way because of his laziness. He feels entitled to have someone else take care of him. I don't need the drama that would result from trying to collect anything from him. I'd rather just let it and him go and get my life back. Talking to him won't do any good either. He doesn't have the capacity to understand that he's the one in the wrong, ever. The blame always goes to someone else. I really think he's a sociopath; at least, he has almost all of the symptoms of being one. Even though it was a hard way to find out that we are broken up, I really do feel relieved that he's gone because he is like a parasite with both money and emotions. It took so much energy to deal with his dramas. I'd rather focus that energy back on myself now and let him go. How does he owe you 10G? That's alot of money...
Author Sadbutrelieved Posted February 10, 2010 Author Posted February 10, 2010 How does he owe you 10G? That's alot of money... It added up over the years. I'd rather kiss it off than see him again. He doesn't even work, so it's not like he could pay me back.
Recommended Posts