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My intuition was right - Fully letting go

summerautumn

By summerautumn
in Infidelity

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summerautumn Member

summerautumn

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Wow, I just found out that my ex boyfriend from a few years ago cheated on me in the last month of our relationship. The way I found out was through a woman I met and became friends with, who is the woman he cheated with. She didn't know about me either!

 

I have felt that I still needed something to let this relationship go completely. It has been 2 years since that time, and I still find this person really messed up yet I check up on his social networking site once in a while. What is this fascination I've had with this person? Now I feel that I am beginning to understand. Thankfully it is for my healing.

 

I wanted to break up with him that month, my intuition was screaming at me to do it, yet I didn't because his dad was in the hospital and it was a challenging time for him. I truly feel that I was meant to help him through that time, yet I can't help but feel that it messed with me emotionally. I was crying after every phone conversation with him. But that is not to mean that the entire experience isn't exactly as it should be. I am one to own things 100%, so this feeling is completely incongruent with the peace I desire to feel.

 

He is a new relationship now and I truly wish him to heal whatever emotional wounds he has so he can find peace, love and fulfillment. I realize that people in our lives only reflect who we are. When he heals, I will heal as well.

Edited by summerautumn
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Jeff1962 Established Member

Jeff1962

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I think it's normal to be a little curious about your ex.

freestyle Established Member

freestyle

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It seems like you're in a good place in many ways. It's nice that you're wishing him well.However, I'm surprised that you're not expressing more anger at discovering that he cheated. Even though it's after the fact, it can still cause pain.

 

I found out my first LTR cheated on me ten years after we'd split up, and I got really upset and angry. Not because I wanted him back, but being the last to know is what set me off.Funny how it can still upset us years after a breakup.........

 

"When he heals, I will heal as well."...............This sounds good, but I wonder if it's really a healthy attitude for you to have.You can only control your own healing.........

whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

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He is a new relationship now and I truly wish him to heal whatever emotional wounds he has so he can find peace, love and fulfillment. I realize that people in our lives only reflect who we are. When he heals, I will heal as well.

 

Focus on you. It's been 2 years, he's moved on and is in a new relationship. Assume he is happy and at peace. Why would you think otherwise since it's been 2 years since you've been with him? Heal yourself and honestly, don't be too concerned about him.

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summerautumn Member

summerautumn

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It seems like you're in a good place in many ways. It's nice that you're wishing him well.However, I'm surprised that you're not expressing more anger at discovering that he cheated. Even though it's after the fact, it can still cause pain.

 

Thanks, I am actually in a great place!!! Anger? I've had latent anger towards this person for almost two years. No amount of therapy or healing could shift that fully. One of my friends once said that she didn't see anyone as broken, and then took that back, she said her ex was an exception. My litmus test for self healing is if I truly wish someone much happiness and fully mean it. With this person that eluded me for the longest time. Yesterday I finally felt it! What a relief, I am celebrating today.:)

 

My anger was only my anger at myself for overriding my intuition projected onto him. On some level I Knew that my decision to continue to stay in the relationship with him was hurtful to me, yet I didn't leave. That's lack of self-love. And for all this time I couldn't own that projection. Now real healing has taken place!:)

Edited by summerautumn
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