freestyle Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 OP. I know other posters have mentioned this in a blanket way, I'm going to be very specific......... If you choose to pursue relations with this MM, and you get caught,not only will you and his family suffer terribly, but it could very well break up your mother's friendship with his mother. Are you willing to gamble with your mom's happiness aswell?
cassiecharlie Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 wow! My friend calls herself my, Forbidden Love and she jumped my bones! We ve been having a great time with each other for 4 months,she has a boyfriend and Im her other man. BUT!!!! theres always a but! Emotions and feelings are now involved and it kills me when I cant see her or smell her perfume!!
Impudent Oyster Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 Beats the he!! out of me. It ticks me off too Steph. It's COMPLETELY unfair. What's unfair? What's the big deal? So what, a MM flirts with you, all men flirt, married, single, young, old, what's the problem? You either flirt back or shut them down, and if you flirt back, so what? Just keep it harmless flirting and go no further. I honestly don't know why people get so offended if someone flirts with them, and I really don't get what the big deal is. Some people are just charming, maybe their manner is being misinterpreted? Just because someone flirts with you doesn't mean you have to go to bed with them, for crying out loud.
Impudent Oyster Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 There's a guaranteed way to nip this in the bud. Simply tell him you feel uncomfortable with his flirting and ask him to stop (you must stop reciprocating also). Then you tell him that if it happens one more time, you will inform your mutual friends, family, and his wife about his flirtations. That will probably make him turn green and run a mile. If it doesn't, then you have to go ahead and inform everyone. That will then *guarantee* you can't have an affair - his wife will have him on a tight leash and no one else will let him near you. Exposure is the best way to kill affairs. Good advice, and very true.
fooled once Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Norajane (and many others) gave you some excellent advice. But I guess I have to ask .... do you really think it is acceptable to have sex with a married guy? Do you really even have to ask "should I or shouldn't I". I get that you are young, probably naive and immature -- but really? You have to ask if you should or shouldn't? Why? What wasn't it an automatic NO, this is not right. What is it with the generation of 20-30 year olds and their need for instant gratification, their seeming lack of boundaries, lack of knowing basic right and wrong and their inability to see past themselves? Did it ever really occur to you that he has a wife and children? Did it ever enter occur to you the damage it could do to them if you did decide to screw her husband/those kids' dad? Or was it all about your needs/desires/wants? I realize there are lots of older adults who have the same thought pattern as you and I find that sad too. But what happened to basic right and wrong? I also agree with the posters who said ask your mom if it is a good idea. I would love to hear her reaction. I am sure she would wonder where did she go wrong with raising you that you would even have to ask. I also agree with others that men flirt -- just as much as women. Flirting doesn't equal cheating to me. Just like I can go to a bar, but that doesn't mean I have to drink alcohol. We all possess the ability to say yes or no. And we all hopefully learn to own our decisions and our mistakes.
Author Steph1245 Posted February 12, 2010 Author Posted February 12, 2010 Great Advice..Thanks everyone....I got so wrapped up in this infactuation it was driving me nuts. Iactually havent seen this guy in a while i dont intend to be mean but im sure he has caught my drift to leave me alone.... To answer some of you guys questions:..The MAIN REASON..SOME single women get upset when attached and MM Flirt is because...There is a fine line between innocent flirting and "I want to get to know you"flirting And i am a very smart woman and i know the differnce.. The problem is MM seem to NEVER get held accountable for their ****...And the other woman gets called every name in the book...And im not saying its right...But MM who Flirt intensley need to be put on a leash... Even if you ignore and avoid a MM that will just make him pursue you even more...
norajane Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 The problem is MM seem to NEVER get held accountable for their ****. It doesn't matter what other people hold them accountable for or not. YOU can hold them accountable and refuse to play the game. Don't be all coy and smiley and flirty back. If they get in your face, tell them you don't have any respect for MM who flirt.
Trimmer Posted February 13, 2010 Posted February 13, 2010 It doesn't matter what other people hold them accountable for or not. YOU can hold them accountable and refuse to play the game. Don't be all coy and smiley and flirty back. If they get in your face, tell them you don't have any respect for MM who flirt. I agree completely. The problem is MM seem to NEVER get held accountable for their ****...And the other woman gets called every name in the book... You don't become the "OW" until you choose to become an active participant, and yes, at the point that the OW has willfully joined the relationship, she will be judged harshly, as the MM also deserves to be. But bottom line: as Norajane points out - you hold them accountable to the degree that they affect your life by not participating and calling them out on it. Simple enough.
Billie63 Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 I think too much is being read into this guy's actions. Some lingering looks and some hugs? Big deal. Steph he hasn't cornered you behind the pot plant or slipped you his phone number - he actually hasn't done anything to suggest he wants to cheat on his wife. You could make a move on him and he could be one of those guys who would run a mile. Most men like to eye up a young pretty woman, not all of them want to take it further. Steph you have given too much thought to this guy and let your mind run wild because you desire him - that doesn't mean he feels the same way. Keep your distance by all means but don't second guess what this guy is thinking - not all men are f**k machines and go after everything in a skirt.
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