greatgirlfriend Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Women are often told that if a guy says he'll never marry that he'll sometimes change his mind. I personally know someone who told his girlfriend on their first date he'd never marry her, and he's going to propose. Another couple lived together for a year, same thing. They've been married 25 years. A college classmate told many women he dated he'd never marry but he did marry ten years later. I'd suspect many guys say it in early relationships/dating to send away those women desperate to marry. Now after several years of dating and someone says he'll never marry I'd be inclined to believe him.
quankanne Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 when I first met my husband, he'd been divorced from wife #2 about a year or so, and was VERY down on marriage. Said he was never going to marry again, that if he were ever stupid enough to do it, he'd insist on a pre-nup (she cleared out their bank account to the tune of about $30K, which he'd been building up for years, they were married about 9 months, if that long). I understood where he was coming from, he'd been burned badly, and I could agree looking at it from that viewpoint. we'll be married 18 years come June, and together about 20 total ... never say never – when someone who is adamantly opposed to marriage finds the right partner, all of that changes because they realize this person is what his/her life's been leading up to
Author greatgirlfriend Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 when I first met my husband, he'd been divorced from wife #2 about a year or so, and was VERY down on marriage. Said he was never going to marry again, that if he were ever stupid enough to do it, he'd insist on a pre-nup (she cleared out their bank account to the tune of about $30K, which he'd been building up for years, they were married about 9 months, if that long). I understood where he was coming from, he'd been burned badly, and I could agree looking at it from that viewpoint. we'll be married 18 years come June, and together about 20 total ... never say never – when someone who is adamantly opposed to marriage finds the right partner, all of that changes because they realize this person is what his/her life's been leading up to That's partly why I don't always believe a guy when he says he'll never marry early in the relationship because many times he changes his mind. I myself tell guys now I don't want to marry because I don't want to marry now (actually I just say whatever happens is out of my control). Guys don't think of the first few months usually as when they want to consider marriage. Women shouldn't either, but many do tell guys they plan on marrying him after a first date which is silly.
Pleco Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 My boyfriend said when we first started dating (before we were even "official") that he didn't want to get married, but now almost a year later he brings up marriage about every other week. So I guess he wasn't serious. I told him back then that I had never really thought about marriage and I'd be perfectly happy remaining happily unmarried to him forever. I was being honest. But now that we've talked more about it I can see the benefits, and he seems to really want to so that's cool. But I was never adamant that I'd never get married.
melodymatters Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Depends on the age of the guy in question. I can think of 4 guys off the top of my head from ages 35-50 who said that and not one of them has taken the plunge yet !
quankanne Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Guys don't think of the first few months usually as when they want to consider marriage. Women shouldn't either, but many do tell guys they plan on marrying him after a first date which is silly. interesting – reminds me of something i'd heard once: Men don't think of relationships in terms of potential marriage the way women often do. He gets married because he realizes it's time to get married, and the chick he's with at that point becomes wifey material.
make me believe Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 I agree with melody, sometimes it depends on the age of the guy. If a 21 year old guy says that he'll never get married, it's probably safe to assume he'll change his mind when he gets older & meets the right woman. However, if a guy in his 30s+ says it, then I'd believe him. Also, if you've been in a relationship with the guy for over a year and he's still saying that, then I'd leave if your end goal is marriage. (Regardless of his age.)
Author greatgirlfriend Posted February 11, 2010 Author Posted February 11, 2010 I agree with melody, sometimes it depends on the age of the guy. If a 21 year old guy says that he'll never get married, it's probably safe to assume he'll change his mind when he gets older & meets the right woman. However, if a guy in his 30s+ says it, then I'd believe him. Also, if you've been in a relationship with the guy for over a year and he's still saying that, then I'd leave if your end goal is marriage. (Regardless of his age.) In my case I have just started seeing someone who insists that, but then he changes his mind. Previously he has said he wants to be married. He has a trust issue he has to work out first. I'm not thinking of marriage yet, but if it goes many months and he still says that then that may be different. Like I said, I know people (men and women) who insisted they'd never marry, even told people that, then changed their mind. And no, I'm not dating him for the idea of marriage. It's too early for that. If by chance he's still like this months from now, and I really want marriage, then I'd dump him.
Barky Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 I wouldn't put my money on someone changing. Not saying it doesn't happen, but I wouldn't put my money on it.
Ilovecake Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Several men I dated said they would never under any circumstances get married and then they married the girl they were dating after we broke up. I think people who are so adamant about not getting married just say that because they haven’t met the person they want to marry, as in they don’t want to marry the person they're dating at the time.
Tnerforireyeh Posted March 17, 2010 Posted March 17, 2010 I personally know someone who told his girlfriend on their first date he'd never marry her Wow what a great pickup line, gotta remember that one.
Recommended Posts