kalena9488 Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 So, I found out after I was heavily involved that my BF smokes pot and probably does other things. I am very much against drugs of any kind for many reasons. One of which is the fact that I'm retired from the Military and was raised being drug tested. Another is the fact that my oldest son had a hard time with them. So, I've told him I don't want to be with anyone that does them and of course he swears to me he has stopped. Though there are times when I think he might be high but it's hard to tell. Well tonite we went to dinner with his brother and his brother asked me to drive us home because he had to much to drink. On the way to take him home he said "You know I smoke, right. I said yes. He said so who's coming in to smoke with me and I said I'm not. I left it open to see what my BF said. It took my BF a few minutes and his brother said what about you and then my BF said I'll smoke a cig with you." well, in my opinion right there that told me that he is still smoking and doing possibly whatever else. Because he has hung out with his brother enough sinch I told him how I feel that I know smoking pot has come up and if he was in fact not smoking it any more his brother would have either not have asked either of us (not even brought it up) or at least not sounded so surprised when my BF said he'd smoke a cig with him. I know my BF thinks I'm ridiculous for feeling the way I do about this but it's something I truly believe in and I don't want to compromise on it what so ever. When we got home and I told him I was pissed (though he's been drinking) he denied it but didn't seem to upset about it. He probably figures he'll just talk his way out of it again. Do you think I'm right in my believeing that he's still doing this? and am I wrong for feeling as strongly as I do?
USMCHokie Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Nope, you are not strange at all for feeling the way you do. I feel exactly the same way. It's an instant dealbreaker. I wouldn't even get involved with someone who was a user or used for a long period of time in the past. You shouldn't have to compromise on it, and if you have doubts about him and his honesty in the matter, you may just want to save yourself the trouble and LAUNCH. He can't be that awesome that his qualities would offset the drug use or potential for drug use.
Author kalena9488 Posted July 2, 2010 Author Posted July 2, 2010 and we've had at least one incident since the February conversation. The last time I found a roach of course he denied it then the next day me, my adult daughter and him were in his truck picking up furniture. I was in the back seat, we stopped to get gas and I found a roach in a cig pack in the back seat. He of course had an excuse for that too. I told him then the next time I found anything at all in/around the house or in his vehicle I didn't care about hearing excuses any more. That we would be finished. Well, my gut instinct was working last night and when I got up this morning I found a roach in the garage. He of course denies it but I'm sticking to what I told him earlier. I love him, but I love myself and my family more and I don't want to be in a relationship with someon who does this and also lies. When I confronted him about being in the garage so long last night he said he was on the phone out of the rain. Well, I looked online at the phone and the last call was made at 8:00pm and it wasn't someone he was talking to so I know he's lying. I hope I make it through this and stick to the way I feel and I don't let him sway me.
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