Kristine Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Found everything he told me is true, go figure. People on a different messageboard have told me to do a background check on him because he's moving fast and that's worrisome. I guess I'm used to him moving fast now and don't think much about it. Yesterday when we went on our date he mentioned his lease ending and asked me what I wanted him to do, i.e. renew, tell his roommate that it's time to find a place of his own, we could go find a place together, where would I like to live?, etc.? Not exactly sure why he worded it the way he did but that's how he it was said. Now I like him, I'm not sure I'm ready to move in together, because I've been there done that so to speak. However the changeup is my mom likes him so much, she thinks he could move in here with us. I didn't mention that to him, because I don't like the idea but then again it would give me the upper hand. And on top of all this I haven't met any of his friends/family yet, so what is he really saying?
Lakeside_runner Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Um, I'd meet his friends and family before a major step like moving in together... So you haven't met any of his friends yet - that's odd. It's one of the things people do at some point, introduce their partners to friends just to see if they get along etc. I think this comes before moving in...
St. Nick Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Word of advice, give background info on what you're talking about for posters like me who have no clue about yer situation, or what yer talking about. Anyway, if he wants to move it but hasn't shown you the family it's probably that he wants to share time with you before getting you to meet his fam. Some people guys would rather get to know a woman reeeeeaaaal good before they decide to show around the family. That's why I, myself, would rather move in before showing the family. If you do move in sign a six month lease or month to month. He doesn't want you to be real close to his other personal life cuz he's not sure about you yet. Either that or his family embarrasses him.
You'reasian Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Found everything he told me is true, go figure. People on a different messageboard have told me to do a background check on him because he's moving fast and that's worrisome. I guess I'm used to him moving fast now and don't think much about it. Yesterday when we went on our date he mentioned his lease ending and asked me what I wanted him to do, i.e. renew, tell his roommate that it's time to find a place of his own, we could go find a place together, where would I like to live?, etc.? Not exactly sure why he worded it the way he did but that's how he it was said. Now I like him, I'm not sure I'm ready to move in together, because I've been there done that so to speak. However the changeup is my mom likes him so much, she thinks he could move in here with us. I didn't mention that to him, because I don't like the idea but then again it would give me the upper hand. And on top of all this I haven't met any of his friends/family yet, so what is he really saying? Basic criminal and resident history check is sufficient. Good for you. As far as living together, I would take this very, very slowwwly. Best to make it as easy as possible for the two of you - stay in a familiar place. Look over the lease options, God forbid, the two of you break up and decides to leave. We guys prefer to get to know you ladies reall well before we want you to know our families really well. Patience.
Author Kristine Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 (edited) Background info.: We met on match.com January 1, 2010. My son passed Dec 15, 2009 (suicide). People thought it was too soon for me to be dating that I'm trying to fill a void so to speak and I am. We've seen each other 3 to 4 times a week, now it's down to about 2-3 times a week schools in session my free time is limited. He's met some of my friends and family I have bumped into his roommate once. He's told his family about me, but most live in different states, 2 live locally, and friends well I have no clue about how many he has. On a sidenote I still haven't told my brother I'm seeing anyone, so that's the one family member he hasn't met, and a few friends he hasn't really met but my best friend he has and my mom and now daughter. I figure I'll tell my brother next. It wasn't my idea to introduce my daughter to him, it was my mom's and my daughter's interest in meeting my "new boyfriend" that spurred that encounter. Edited February 9, 2010 by Kristine
lurker219 Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Found everything he told me is true, go figure. People on a different messageboard have told me to do a background check on him because he's moving fast and that's worrisome. I guess I'm used to him moving fast now and don't think much about it. Yesterday when we went on our date he mentioned his lease ending and asked me what I wanted him to do, i.e. renew, tell his roommate that it's time to find a place of his own, we could go find a place together, where would I like to live?, etc.? Not exactly sure why he worded it the way he did but that's how he it was said. Now I like him, I'm not sure I'm ready to move in together, because I've been there done that so to speak. However the changeup is my mom likes him so much, she thinks he could move in here with us. I didn't mention that to him, because I don't like the idea but then again it would give me the upper hand. And on top of all this I haven't met any of his friends/family yet, so what is he really saying? So...Did you clean up this issue? Is this the same guy? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t219447/ If it isn't you're a troll or one of the most disfuntional women to roam the earth. I pray you're a troll and not a game playing AW... Which is it?
Author Kristine Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 Must be dysfunctional because I'm definitely not a troll. And well we haven't attempted sex in a while so I can't say if that's resolved.
RobM Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Background info.: We met on match.com January 1, 2010. My son passed Dec 15, 2009 (suicide). People thought it was too soon for me to be dating that I'm trying to fill a void so to speak and I am. I am so sorry to read this, it's way way too soon to move in together. I would think you would need a lot of time to heal and I wouldn't make any major changes so soon.
superchick Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Too soon. You guys will get bored with each other very soon if you move in together. Filling a void after your son's death in such way is not a good idea. You can continue to date your guy but you really need to see a professional to help you move on after your son's tragic death.
You'reasian Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Too soon. You guys will get bored with each other very soon if you move in together. Filling a void after your son's death in such way is not a good idea. You can continue to date your guy but you really need to see a professional to help you move on after your son's tragic death. And what's your super power?
Art_Critic Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 My son passed Dec 15, 2009 (suicide). People thought it was too soon for me to be dating that I'm trying to fill a void so to speak and I am. Kristine.. I'm so sorry...That is terrible news... I would give the moving in thing a rest for a while.. something to remember is that you are vulnerable right now and as someone who is vulnerable you can fall for the wrong guy and make bad choices that can have terrible consequences down the road. Stay strong *** hugs ***
alphamale Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 i don't think you should be in a relationship right now
Leia Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 I'm sorry to hear about your son's suicide. It must be hard for you and your daughter. Moving in is way too soon for you and the guy. I read your other threads and it seems like there is a lot of issues ... that are not resolved? I don't know but I would tread carefully with this one.
superchick Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 And what's your super power? You'll be surprised to find out, but this thread is not a proper place for me show off
lucy9216 Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Kristine-I am really terribly sorry to hear about your son, I do think you are trying to fill a void with dating this guy but that is only a temporary resolution to the healing that you need to go through. I agree with the other posts on seeking counseling and do it as soon as possible. Be careful with this guy, I met someone on match back in november who moved really quick and I ignored all of the red flags because everything else about him fit exactly what I was looking for. This guy ended up being one of the worst decisions I ever made but it did make me a lot more careful when it comes to meeting men. You are gonna do what you want despite what anyone else says on here but just be really careful with this guy and do your best to take care of yourself please
lurker219 Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Must be dysfunctional because I'm definitely not a troll. And well we haven't attempted sex in a while so I can't say if that's resolved. So are you saying the Google dude is the same dude as your previous thread or are you preparing to mind frack a new guy with games, drama and nonsense? IF this is a new guy and you have enough presence of mind to know you're dysfunctional, why stay out here and play the game? Just curious....
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