iwanttolive Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Dear LS, I'm feeling really overwhelmed right now. Basically, for the past 4 months, I've been working like a slave, more than 12 hours a day and sometimes weekends too. As a result, I became depressed as I had no time for other activities. To keep my sanity, I quitted my job without another job lined-up. My bf has been asking me to move in for months and i finally agreed because we are more steady now and we could save on rents. I was still really busy at work when I moved over, so I was really really exhausted. Within the same week I also went for a vacation which I have planned with my friends half a year ago. All that drained me of my energy and I totally had no mood for s*x. I did not want to just go through the motion with him, so I always declined him for the past 4 months during weekdays. On weekends, we are okay. He's upset with me because I declined him this morning. He said he felt really hurt and I did not understand his feeling. He threatened to sleep in the living room. I've been asking if we could just have a tight hug because I was really tired. He always asked me around 6 am in the morning and I had to get up for work at 7 am. I felt that he's the one who doesn't understand me because I start work at 8.30 while he starts at 12 noon. I had to travel 1.5 hour to work while his office is within walking distance from his house. He works 7 hours a day, while I work on average 9 hours a day. When he wants to be intimate with me, I feel like I'm a s*x slave because I was so tired. It's like everyone wants a piece of me and I have nothing left for myself!!! I don't know how to reconcile with him. I love him but I can't just be going through the motion of being intimate with him
BobSacamento Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Sounds like a relationship is a little too much for you handle. Time to GTFO and let him have a fun life.
counterman Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 I think explaining it to him is the best way to go, and reassuring him that you do still love him but it's just that your job takes its toll on you and you need to have time to rest and time for yourself. When guys go in for something intimate and they get rejected, it does hurt. It is like going in for a kiss and you shifting your face away to not let him. I am not blaming you or anything, just explaining how it feels. Just tell him how you feel and, when you are not feeling so drained, initiate it.
Kamille Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 He's upset with me because I declined him this morning. He said he felt really hurt and I did not understand his feeling. He threatened to sleep in the living room. The fact is that right now, you're both right. You don't understand how being rejected by the woman he loves hurts him and he has no way of really knowing what a number stress and depression can do on someone's libido. So be patient with each other. it sounds like you're still working even though you said you quit your job. When exactly does it end? Can you promise yourself you will take at least a week before you launch into job-search mode? Take the time for you, to relax, work out, find your balance. Right now he probably feels his needs fall way down on your list of priorities. I know you are tired and you wish he could just understand and be patient, but it's a two way street. I'm not saying to have sex with him even though you're not in the mood. What I'm saying is that you both need to put things in perspective. You are making the right decisions for you well-being by quitting your job. You are striving to find your balance. It will get easier.
You'reasian Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Dear LS, I'm feeling really overwhelmed right now. Basically, for the past 4 months, I've been working like a slave, more than 12 hours a day and sometimes weekends too. As a result, I became depressed as I had no time for other activities. To keep my sanity, I quitted my job without another job lined-up. My bf has been asking me to move in for months and i finally agreed because we are more steady now and we could save on rents. I was still really busy at work when I moved over, so I was really really exhausted. Within the same week I also went for a vacation which I have planned with my friends half a year ago. All that drained me of my energy and I totally had no mood for s*x. I did not want to just go through the motion with him, so I always declined him for the past 4 months during weekdays. On weekends, we are okay. He's upset with me because I declined him this morning. He said he felt really hurt and I did not understand his feeling. He threatened to sleep in the living room. I've been asking if we could just have a tight hug because I was really tired. He always asked me around 6 am in the morning and I had to get up for work at 7 am. I felt that he's the one who doesn't understand me because I start work at 8.30 while he starts at 12 noon. I had to travel 1.5 hour to work while his office is within walking distance from his house. He works 7 hours a day, while I work on average 9 hours a day. When he wants to be intimate with me, I feel like I'm a s*x slave because I was so tired. It's like everyone wants a piece of me and I have nothing left for myself!!! I don't know how to reconcile with him. I love him but I can't just be going through the motion of being intimate with him You quitted your job.... Sorry had to catch you on that one. After all these years, same grammar...jk, I don't know you. And the 8.30 thing, very European. Cool. Well, if you want to expand your relationship, keep the sex time during the late evening or early morning hours and commit time toward doing nice things together like seeing movies, going for a walk, hanging out etc.
Barky Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Sounds like a relationship is a little too much for you handle. Time to GTFO and let him have a fun life. I would agree with this statement. Concentrate on other things and let the poor boy get what he wants elsewhere.
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