squeaky Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 i guess this is somewhat of an update on this post: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t218642/ my ex and i are still very close. we are now hanging out twice a week, and still talking on average 2 or 3 times a day. he has given me even more signs that he might still have feelings for me. today i got an email from one of my best friends from high school. he is getting married in june and he really wants me to come to the wedding. i would love to see him, but i am apprehensive about going. for one thing, it's on the other side of the country. for another, the only people who i would know there are classmates from high school. i haven't seen them in 10 years, and i'm not on the best terms with some of them because of something that happened in high school. my ex called me on his lunch break and i mentioned the wedding invite in passing. he asked me if i planned to go, and i said i would like to, but it was unlikely, because it's far away and i won't know many people there. as soon as i said that he said, "what if i went with you?" it hadn't occurred to me to ask him, and i was surprised that he would offer. him coming with me would mean that he would have to take off work, buy a plane ticket, fly across the country, and spend the weekend with me in a hotel room. does this sound like a best friend thing to do? i could be wrong, but i feel like that's a boyfriend-type thing. we have never taken a trip like that before, including when we were dating. he still hasn't said that he has romantic feelings for me. i have finally told my best friends that i am still in love with him, and they think that i should give him more time, but if he takes too long to open up, i will need to tell him my true feelings at some point. i wish i knew what he was thinking. any advice or insight? what's with the wedding thing? is he just being a good friend?
alphamale Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 is he just being a good friend? yes i'm afraid so...you shouldn't really stay in contact with an ex lover
Author squeaky Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 yes i'm afraid so...you shouldn't really stay in contact with an ex lover in your opinion, should exes never get back together under any circumstances? i'm just curious. we did not break up on bad terms; the issue was that neither of us were ready for a serious relationship at the time (for various reasons). i've remained friends with all of my exes, but i definitely have not experienced anything like this. with other ex-boyfriends, maybe there was lingering jealousy right after the breakup, but we got over that fairly quickly. but like, in this case, my ex has requested that i not ever talk about other guys i might be dating, and he has made it clear that he isn't interested in dating anyone else. he has also become increasingly affectionate in the way he talks to me. for example, every time we hang out now he tells me i look pretty (he did this when we dated, but stopped after we broke up and didn't start up again until a few weeks ago). he also just looks at me and smiles a lot, or says that things that i do are cute or sweet, or he goes on about how smart or funny i am. he would do this on occasion over the past few months since we broke up, but to me it seemed like he would just accidentally slip up sometimes and call me "sweetie" or "honey". he has also been going out of his way to do favors for me lately: buying me special tea because it helps me sleep, surprising me by bringing dinner when we hang out, giving me my own copy of his favorite book. i understand that he broke up with me in the first place because he was afraid of getting attached to someone else. but if you still have feelings for someone when you break up with her, and then you still talk to her everyday for 5 months after breaking up, how do you become less attached? i think he needs more time, and i'm basically just focusing on my own life, regardless of what he does. i just don't know what to make of some of his behavior. some people have said that i should stop speaking to him, but that seems manipulative to me and it's just not my style.
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