xyoungforeternityx Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Okay, quick question; what could 'take things slow' and 'see how things develop' mean in reference to an ex. I ended things after I suspected he wasnt over his ex of 3 years (LDR). He finally admitted he wasnt. It wasnt a bad break up, we kept in contact. He's turned up at my house since, text and called lots. We have been intimate once (a week after the break up) after he turned up at my house and said that he couldnt bear the thought of me finding someone else (we went out that night), I assumed he wanted to get back together. The next day, he seemed confused still so I told him not to contact me til he figures out what he wants. He contacted me the next weekend to ask if I was out at the usual place I go to cos he's be there with his friends and he didn't want to 'ruin my night'. Later on he called to say this week of no contact was hell for him and that he was confused and depressed. He apologised the next day for his behaviour. No contact again til the following thursday - text me saying he knows we havent spoken in a while but Id normally be the first on he'd tell - he spoke about his driving lessons being booked and how he'd bet me a pint that he'd pass before me. I replied back. Then on the friday - it was his first gig without me there, he text me literally everything that was happening, even though I wasnt replying back then asked to meet the next day cos he needed to talk about things. Next day - we met up - was actually like he used when we were together. Touchy feely. calling me by the nickname he used to call me. he asked if we could take things slow and see how things develop. At first I wasnt sure and told him that but later agreed to it. I told him I wanted things to work out and if this was a way to do it, then I'd see how things go. He said he felt the same. Nothing until wednesday when he text about the football. I didnt reply because I was still unsure about the take things slow thing. He text on saturday saying he missed not talking to me, and telling me about how his driving lesson went. I replied because I felt bad not replying back again. We had a conversation. This continued every day since up until thursday. He asked what I was doing at the weekend and that he had nothing planned and if I wanted to meet up for a drink then he'd like that. I went out on friday with friends so I didnt reply til sat. When I asked about the drink, he made a comment saying that was the longest d taken to reply. We met up, everything was like how it used to be. The conversation flowed as usual, we kissed after a while and soon held hands and became all coupley. We went cinema and cuddled etc. He made a remark about the food he'd bought being my valentine's day gift as it was at the place where we first met. He asked about staying at mine to which I said i didnt think it was a good idea. He said he just wanted to fall asleep with me and wake up with me. I gave in and we went to his. And thats just what we did. The next day, his mum came round and his brother was there and everything was okay. They spoke to me like normal. When I went home, he kissed me goodbye at the train station. And last night text saying 'hope you got home okay, thanks for a great night ' Im not sure what to make of all this? Or what I should do? That night he called me a 'mate' when talking about me in a story he was telling me. But my friends say that could be cos he doesnt know what we are now. As I was leaving he said 'have a nice week' which my friends says could be him not wanting to come on too strong after him asking for us to take things slow. And he said about me taking ages to reply which my friends say shows how much he cares, and how he remarked at me not inviting him out with my friends the ngiht before which my friends have said that means he misses me and is worried I'll find someone else. But they are my friends and I know they'll probably just say that to make me happy and because they get on with him. What do you think about this situation? Is it worth it? Am I being used or just expecting the worst?
sean1 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 hello sounds like a different story to the rest of us. most people on here are looking for that stage that your at. basically back dating your ex answergin the "what if" questions. you need to still sit down and talk though. it may be hard but you need to know exactly what this is. you cant just think your back together. because none of you havemade commitments to each other again. its like you are both friends and possibly just being friends with benefits eventually. if you really want to give it another go then ask him if its what he wants. make sure you know what your getting in to! the fact you have both been going out andnot mentioned the break up is good. it means you have both left the past behind and aremostlikely rekindling your love for each other. now ive typed that im tempted tosay dont mention anything and just take things slow...but he could have eyes for someone else to. you and another girl. he may be testing to see which would work best. this is why you need to establish asap if you are 100% both committed togiving it another go...or if you are going to move on. if i was him. i would be praying for you toturn arond and say will you be my boyfriend again? BUT you need to make sure he is 100% serious about being with you! this is time youcould use to be moving on and finding someone else. maybe he just rebounded really fast and hes just running back to you until he meets someone new? all options are still open untilyoupop that question! hope it helps!
Author xyoungforeternityx Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 hello sounds like a different story to the rest of us. most people on here are looking for that stage that your at. basically back dating your ex answergin the "what if" questions. you need to still sit down and talk though. it may be hard but you need to know exactly what this is. you cant just think your back together. because none of you havemade commitments to each other again. its like you are both friends and possibly just being friends with benefits eventually. if you really want to give it another go then ask him if its what he wants. make sure you know what your getting in to! the fact you have both been going out andnot mentioned the break up is good. it means you have both left the past behind and aremostlikely rekindling your love for each other. now ive typed that im tempted tosay dont mention anything and just take things slow...but he could have eyes for someone else to. you and another girl. he may be testing to see which would work best. this is why you need to establish asap if you are 100% both committed togiving it another go...or if you are going to move on. if i was him. i would be praying for you toturn arond and say will you be my boyfriend again? BUT you need to make sure he is 100% serious about being with you! this is time youcould use to be moving on and finding someone else. maybe he just rebounded really fast and hes just running back to you until he meets someone new? all options are still open untilyoupop that question! hope it helps! Thanks for your reply. I really appreciate it. all these options are running around in my mind. I don't know if its just me being the pessimist I am or he's being honest and genuine. I mean why would he make so much effort? Unless its the last option you listed. I don't think there's another girl. (at least I hope not). Hasn't he got enough on his plate what with me and his ex? He isnt the player type anyway, he is quite reserved. I just don't want to wait around and prolong the hurt if nothing comes from this. Ive told him already I couldnt be just friends with him. I don't normally do the whole 'casual' thing cos I don't really believe in it. If you like someone, why not just go for it? I suppose I'll see how things go for a while, it's so confusing and frustrating though. He already knows how I feel about him and he says the same things about me, we never had any other issues. Just this one, but then again, this isnt one that can be just brushed under the carpet.
sean1 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 I mean why would he make so much effort? I don't think there's another girl. (at least I hope not). Hasn't he got enough on his plate what with me and his ex? He isnt the player type anyway, he is quite reserved. I just don't want to wait around and prolong the hurt if nothing comes from this. Ive told him already I couldnt be just friends with him. I don't normally do the whole 'casual' thing cos I don't really believe in it. If you like someone, why not just go for it? I suppose I'll see how things go for a while, it's so confusing and frustrating though. He already knows how I feel about him and he says the same things about me, we never had any other issues. Just this one, but then again, this isnt one that can be just brushed under the carpet. i think you already established you want to get back together. i am not the player type either. i dont see the point in just having someone forone night it has to be special. however when my exbroke up with me. i wasmissing something. i just needed someone to have and hold. 2 nyts later i was with another girl. but i did not go allthe way. she wanted to but i couldnt. but it just shows. my emotons got me all the way to her house in her room and past kissing! its so easy to rebound after you have been finished. men are softcreatures we liked to be loved to! my best advice would be to talkto him face to face and really establish what is coming from all this. what is the point in stilgoing out places if your not together? being friends wont workif you love him. you need to stop yourself getting hurt. and him to. the sooner you know the answer the better. either you can both 100% recommit to each other. or you begin n/c andmove on with your life
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