GrayClouds Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Long time no new thread which is a good thing, I would say. Been working hard at the old turn that frown upside down, with a touch of getting stronger now like Rocky Balboa, and trying to tackle the whole zen of Taramere living in the moment crap. Have to say the light at the end of the tunnel is not always a train a comin'. It can be honest to goodness good old rays of light signaling sunnier days ahead. But, and there is always a but for this is the coping section not the yeppidy yeppidy ya section, I am tired. And not happy to say when I am tired the demons of doubt takes a residency without offering to pay rent. I want to sleep but I am not sleeping so well. I go to work looking to distract myself from myself only to find I am trying to distract myself from work. I guess it could be a crises of faith. Even if the sun shining, I will not feel it's warmth. That all the effort did not help me get to the other side but just keep me from falling back down the hill. I have gain clarity about the past without gaining any credence towards the future. I could blame my bent two too many Super Bowl barley pops but that would only excuse last night and how can two be two too many. I could just say I just need a good night sleep, but I been trying to marginalize this mood with that mantra for over week now. As this little lament illustrates, that allowance is no longer holding much water. I guess I am on a downward slide, but I seen the other side, really can't ask for more. I been here long enough that to know, sooner or later, ups follows downs.. 1
thepulse27 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 I know how you feel. Tiredness kills. And not just on the roads. All of my little 'relapses' into the dark seem to coincide with being seriously drained, but, as I too am not sleeping well either as yet, these can come a little more regularly than I'd hope. But I take comfort in the fact that you know yourself well enough to see this as a passing phase. I'm here (always, as I'm clearly not asleep) to try and pull you up the hill if you ever want it, though I'll have to climb up to you first. Hope tomorrow is one of the better days.
HeavenOrHell Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 I'm not sleeping well either, and tiredness makes everything seem worse. Remember it's just the rollercoaster and it will stop in time ((((((hugs))))))
sean1 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 grayclouds. i feelfor you. its always hard. really do try this technique below! STEP 1: Feel whatever it is you are feeling and notice how and where you feel it. For example many people feel emotional hurt in their chest or heart (that is why it is called heart break). But, that may or may not be true for you. Now just focus on your feeling and ask yourself silently or aloud the following: Can I allow this feeling? And then answer. It doesn’t matter if it is a Yes or No. STEP 2: Ask "Could I let this feeling go?" Again, a Yes or No is acceptable. STEP 3 Ask "Would I let this feeling go?" STEP 4 Ask "When?" STEP 5 Now examine the feeling again. Does it feel different? Did you feel a shift? The shift is different for everyone, but is a sign of small healing. You want to feel how your feeling has changed and repeat steps 1 thru 5. hope it helps. i do it everyday if i feeldown!
counterman Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 GrayClouds, I had always thought you were sort of like a moderator here, an expert who offered support to those who posted threads in the "Coping" and "Breaking Up" section. You have always provided great words and you have challenged the thinking of others so that they, all of whom usually do not have their motions in check, can feel empowered to get over this hurt. Your efforts here is exceptional and I hope I can be forgiven for not thinking that you were one of us feeling the way we feel. I personally never got to thank you for all you have done for me. If I had found out about this forum earlier, I would have learnt a lot more but I am content with things now. Looking back a couple of months ago, I see improvements in me that I would have never expected, most noticeably my confidence. You have been a big part of that, even at times I was stubborn and would almost put myself in dangerous situations. Thank you so much for that. Tiredness makes things so much worse. When you get decent sleep, see how you feel after that. Take positives from what you have achieved and I think you yourself know that the words you speak to so many others are plausible and they're real. Hope you are taking care of yourself, mate.
Ms. Joolie Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 GrayClouds, The depth of your mind is such, that I imagine the darkness that is possible in those realms to be one of great discomfort. From the clouds that hover on your horizon, I can see that the sun is indeed there for you, but you insist on being in such a manner that you lay in these clouds, quite situated in the environment they provide you. Perhaps these dark clouds bring challenges, but perhaps they are opportunities as well. The sun still shines everyday, and it really is up to us to make the most of it... GrayClouds and all. Sincerely, Ms. Joolie
DagnyT Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 Your expression of it is beautiful, GrayClouds. Yes, tiredness happens to all of us. It sucks us in, the abyss showing no end. The fact that you know it, makes you immune to the depth. Just let things flow. I am sure you are going to touch the skies soon, again. Pearly white clouds this time
TaraMaiden Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 When you're tired, and you can't sleep, (Forget Bing Crosby) get a piece of paper and write it all down. All of it. You might need more than one piece of paper, actually, but get it all out. Express yourself. Then,get your head back down. You may well find this brings the sleep you need, because you've removed it all from *up here* (taps head) and put it all *down there* (points to knee-deep pile of random bits of paper, because it's all you could find at 03.00) Look at them again in the morning. They will either mean something, and still resonate, or you'll just laugh, and shake your head, and wonder what the hell hit you..... if they resonate, put them in a drawer, and pull them out again, in a week, and read them again. That's the point you'll probably laugh, shake your head and wonder what the hell hit you. Oh, and try St John's Wort. It's effective in fighting off the winter blues. And go for a walk. In the sunshine. It's good for you. (It seems Taramere has trumped me as chief of "the whole zen of living in the moment crap"... Good choice. She's far more sensible than I, actually..... )
Author GrayClouds Posted February 11, 2010 Author Posted February 11, 2010 Oh, and try St John's Wort. It's effective in fighting off the winter blues. And go for a walk. In the sunshine. It's good for you. (It seems Taramere has trumped me as chief of "the whole zen of living in the moment crap"... Good choice. She's far more sensible than I, actually..... ) you know I meant you! I am a loyal servent to only one sensei. I think much of my discontent stems from getting ahead of myself, over committing myself to a particular future, marring myself to a specific outcome that on have limited ability to actually control and then building up a frustration when it appears as if may be going a different direction. Heck with the St.John Wart I will my placebo effects form the evil profit from pain pharmaceutical oligopoly products offering better living through chemicals if need be! I will not be high jinked into that homeopathic hoodo hippy crap. Next thing you will be telling me to wear lavender to bed For now, a good run in the woods with the newly fallen snow sparkling the rays of the late afternoon sunlight may do the trick. (thanks for checking in) .
TaraMaiden Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Actually, St John's Wort is so effective, that if taken with standard chemical anti-depressants, it negates their effectiveness. I'm 53 and the menopause is an alien concept, to me....... But you must do what you feel is right for you, my little off-white puff of water vapour.... And a good run in the snow-blanketed woods sounds refreshingly, bracingly invigorating. Beats sitting on a couch with a remote, and a 350-channel TV.... Oooooh yessss.....!
TaraMaiden Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 lavender's good.... Wearing lavender-coloured pyjamas in bed, would be more suspect, though....
Odyssey Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Hey GC... walk it off. with the warmth of the sun on your face and a gentle refreshing breeze. It's as good as medication.
Limbo21 Posted February 11, 2010 Posted February 11, 2010 Be safe in the knowledge you help many people who seek guidance & a reality check (actually that's more you tara lol) but like posters have already commented, you do more for people in a week than most do in a lifetime. That is a great quality & don't loose sight of that Rich
Author GrayClouds Posted February 11, 2010 Author Posted February 11, 2010 Countermen, Jools, Limbo, Od, Dt thanks for the kind words. They do help. And everyone else for the support. Now back to feeling sorry for yourselves to give me something product to do!
mickleb Posted February 14, 2010 Posted February 14, 2010 My dearest GC. I'm so sorry I was not able to offer my support to you, here, earlier this week. I sincerely hope that you are feeling much better. Can I make it up to you by offering my email address, via PM and my personal services for the future, should you feel the need to take a metaphorical hand that may be able to help guide you through any future trials and tribulations? I promise I will do my utmost to ease your woes, as soon as I possibly can. Ingenuously yours, Mickleb x
Author GrayClouds Posted February 15, 2010 Author Posted February 15, 2010 My dearest GC. I'm so sorry I was not able to offer my support to you, here, earlier this week. I sincerely hope that you are feeling much better. Can I make it up to you by offering my email address, via PM and my personal services for the future, should you feel the need to take a metaphorical hand that may be able to help guide you through any future trials and tribulations? I promise I will do my utmost to ease your woes, as soon as I possibly can. Ingenuously yours, Mickleb x That' s mighty kind of you little lady. Though I feel I should repeat some wise words ye ol' Grampa would say or at least I think think this is what he said. It was hard to tell because he always had a soggy cigar in his mouth that made it a bit difficult to completely understand him; If your going to feed a stray dog, then dont be surprised if he follows you home.... Though it could have beebn if you going to read to a gray hog, do not be surprised if he wants to answer the the phone Both wise words but I never could understand what that would mean so I will stick to the one about the dog:laugh:
Author GrayClouds Posted February 16, 2010 Author Posted February 16, 2010 That is touching, it kind of reminds me of good ol' Grampa with his cigars...
Recommended Posts