PA1123 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Ok everyone, She broke up with me about 2 years ago. We did the whole NC thing for about 8 months and she broke that rule and started texting me again. (How she started the text was saying that she wanted to text another person but she put my name in the inbox by mistake.) You know the usual how is your life text and everything... I told her that I was dating another girl and she started interrigating me about the new girl. (now I knew that she was maybe distrssed by a new girl in my life) and we ended the conversation nicely and i did not hear from her for a while. Until recently when she "saw something that reminded her of me and decided to text me. We talked about basically the same thing life and how I was excelling in life and she was also. I told her that if she was ever in town that we should get dinner or coffee and she agreed. Now I deleted her phone number on my cell phone after the first conversation because I thought that I was done with her. BUt apparently I was not. Here are my questions. Why would she have my phone number still in her phone after 2 years of a breakup? Was it a good idea to set up a meeting with her? I am pretty sure that she is just trying to use different things to start a conversation with me. Thanks everyone for your input
bananaboat11 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Ok everyone, She broke up with me about 2 years ago. We did the whole NC thing for about 8 months and she broke that rule and started texting me again. (How she started the text was saying that she wanted to text another person but she put my name in the inbox by mistake.) You know the usual how is your life text and everything... I told her that I was dating another girl and she started interrigating me about the new girl. (now I knew that she was maybe distrssed by a new girl in my life) and we ended the conversation nicely and i did not hear from her for a while. Until recently when she "saw something that reminded her of me and decided to text me. We talked about basically the same thing life and how I was excelling in life and she was also. I told her that if she was ever in town that we should get dinner or coffee and she agreed. Now I deleted her phone number on my cell phone after the first conversation because I thought that I was done with her. BUt apparently I was not. Here are my questions. Why would she have my phone number still in her phone after 2 years of a breakup? Was it a good idea to set up a meeting with her? I am pretty sure that she is just trying to use different things to start a conversation with me. Thanks everyone for your input She isn't 100% over you. She'd like to know that you're still there... either because she's come to her senses and has too much pride to exclaim she wants you back... or she's seeing if you're still on her backburner... regardless... if YOU can do the 100% friendship without any feelings and she can... if you're for a friendship, do it up. If you can't... NC. Good luck OP
Author PA1123 Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 Yea I thought that those excuses for contacting me sounded fake... I am all for a friendship with her, but from the looks of it it seems she wants something else
sean1 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 my test is simple. imagine your ex stood in front of you kissing another guy very passionatly. now imagine her having an intimate night with that guy. feel anything? if so. its n.c. if you dont feelanything whatsoever like its just a normal friend then your ok to be friends
DustySaltus Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 First off, you need to figure out what you want. I'm assuming you posted here because you want to give things another shot. With that being said a second chance will not work unless the problems that led to initial breakup are resolved, she admits that she made a mistake and is willing to do whatever it takes to make things work....anything else is unacceptable. I also think because she broke up with you, that the ball is in her court to show you she is serious. Why did you break up anyway? 8 months is a long time. What was it that she saw that reminded her of you? Was she involved with someone else but things didn't work out? Is she truly interested in pursuing things or just seeing this as a backup plan until something else comes along. I don't know her, she might have a sent a text to you as a "feeler" because she didn't want to look like a fool if you totally ignored her. But if she came back for the right reasons, she'll do whatever it takes. Just be yourself at the meeting but ask her what her intentions are. If you are ok with being friends with her, then you have nothing to worry about. But if you want to get back with her, this will be one of the biggest questions you'll ask in a while. Let us know how it goes. Good luck. DS
DenverBachelor Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 if YOU can do the 100% friendship without any feelings and she can... if you're for a friendship, do it up. If you can't... NC. Yeah, right. Any time two ex's get together (ok, 95% of the time), there's going to be some feelings on some side of the table. I mean you don't share a long intimate relationship with anyone and just shut those feelings off. Maybe for awhile, but sooner or later, it is going to creep up on you when you least expect it. Maybe just for one day, but that might be the day he or she pulls the cell phone out and thinks, "why not, what do I have to lose?" But yeah, two years is a damn long time. People change a lot in just a year, not to mention two.
Author PA1123 Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 Im sorry but Denver what are you trying to imply? Its probably a no brainer but please clarify. Thanks man
DenverBachelor Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 (edited) Im sorry but Denver what are you trying to imply? Its probably a no brainer but please clarify. Thanks man Alright, I'll tell it to you as it is -- she still very much loves you in some way or another. People don't look up old ex's unless there is some underlying depth to some love lost -- or some decision regretted. I wouldn't do it. Would you? Why would you look up an old love? Nostalgia? What's nostalgia except for a fling of thing's gone, but thing's perhaps never lost. Edited February 9, 2010 by DenverBachelor
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