greatgirlfriend Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 The guy I really like got burnt in a previous relationship. As a result he told me he needs to slow things down. We aren't sleeping together yet (he wants us to wait a few months until we are officially monogamous though neither one of us really want to date others). After posting in the other thread about things we did wrong, it made me wonder. Right away I kissed him and we both talked about the future. He accused me of things I never said (which was odd) but the other things I wonder about. Has things ever gotten too fast too soon then you felt you needed to slow things down? What was the result? Are you intimidated when a woman kisses you first?
boogieboy Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Nope, Never. If he wants to slow things down, he either isnt that into you, or hasnt fully recovered from his ex yet. You already see red flags with him accusing you.... I dont think you should go down this road if he isnt over his ex. OR, maybe he is playing the "slkow down" card to make you jump him physically, seems to be working. he wont have to wait months when its on HIS terms...
Author greatgirlfriend Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 I'm sure he's over his ex, but got screwed over financially from her and other women. Plus his mom is rushing him to marry. The weird thing is he accused me of rushing the sex part (we didn't sleep together) yet he initiated some light sexual contact, not me. I told him next time I see him I'll leave the kissing up to him.
soulm8 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Great thread - I've been wondering the same thing. I've been accused of trying to rush things too. I'm not in any rush to get married, yet that's the impression I get. Do men only want to be in a monogamous relationship with someone they want to marry? The whole rushing things has been dumped on me when I feel particularly bonded with someone and feel secure in the exclusivity of our relationship.
Author greatgirlfriend Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 Great thread - I've been wondering the same thing. I've been accused of trying to rush things too. I'm not in any rush to get married, yet that's the impression I get. Do men only want to be in a monogamous relationship with someone they want to marry? The whole rushing things has been dumped on me when I feel particularly bonded with someone and feel secure in the exclusivity of our relationship. My situation is a little more complicated. We were friends (and he wanted to date me back then but I wasn't ready), then we lost touch for 10 years and I found him again on Facebook. I know he wants a relationship with me (he told me this) but he's scared. When we were together one minute he said we are just friends, then he's calling me his girlfriend, then once again we are just friends again. Then he'll say he can't wait to pamper me and he'd be a great boyfriend then he said he doesn't want a romance. He's the one rushing certain things then he backs off.
soulm8 Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 My situation is a little more complicated. Yep... that's frustrating for sure! Try being a single parent who misses sharing the everyday stuff with a monogamous partner.
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