bluesky999 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Today was the start of the 3rd week my ex left me for another guy. We’ve been together for over four years and she meant the world to me. Everything used to be so perfect and we even planned how many children to have, what to name them... in the future. Then one day she came to me after being out for a friend’s birthday and said “I don’t love as much as I used to. Now, I have a lot of feeling for the guy that I just met and I want to break up with you”. After hearing this, the world that I pictured with her was collapsed and tears kept coming from my eyes even though I tried to hold on. She used to be a very thoughtful, caring girl… She was person that made my day of everyday… But she was so cold-hearted to me after meeting this guy. No matter what I tried to do and explained to her, she acted like nothing has ever happened between us and move on just like that… Now she has left, leaving me alone with so much pain and depression… It has been three weeks now, but I feel like it was just yesterday… I want to move on but dreams (about her) keep coming at night, and every single night… I hate her for hurting me so bad, but also miss and love her at the same time… I want her to be in my life, but she doesn’t want to be in mine… My mind tells me to forget, but my heart starts beating when I see things remind her…. I just miss her so much, more and more every day… The next few days are going very hard for me because of the Valentines Day, especially my Valentine is with someone else this year. Please help me guys. I need as many as advices possible. What should I do on this day? Should I send her a card and tell her how much I miss her? What should I do if I want her back to my life again?
ms.ac Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 I know how you feel... i was with my ex for almost 5 years... he is now.. well im not sure if he still is.. with someone else.. and it still hurts me everyday that he picked someone else over me... but i PROMISE you it gets better. Do not send her a card, she doesn't deserve a card from you, do not show weakness, if you do nothing, dont call, send letters, etc. this will do more than sending something, trust me, my ex was so mean to me about leaving for someone else, telling me how much better she was, and how i was going to be a lone, and never wanted to talk to me again and just really really mean things... well its been 49 days since i last talked to him and i am sooo much better, and guess what.. the guy who hated me 49 days ago called me last week... and i didnt answer ... trust me, doing nothing does more!! Focus on yourself, make yourself happy without her... I'm going and getting a massage, even going to a valentine's day event.. ive been hanging out with someone else.. never thought this would EVER be possible... and when i was busy doing things that made me happy, going to football games, going out with my friends, meeting new people, my ex decides to call me, y did he call me,, i have no clue, but i hope he is realizing he lost in this whole situation, he lost something really good that he had... the grass wasnt greener and i wasn't as weak as he thought.. i know he thought id still be there sad and waiting for him... and so did I ... but im not ... so please dont send her anything
duece22022 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Agree. Don't send her V-day card. very bad idea. ms.ac gives very good advice. It will get better and you will be happy again. it just sucks that it takes so long. the more you actively stop trying to think about her the better. I am happy for you MS.AC your story cheered me up.
Author bluesky999 Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 I know how you feel... i was with my ex for almost 5 years... he is now.. well im not sure if he still is.. with someone else.. and it still hurts me everyday that he picked someone else over me... but i PROMISE you it gets better. Do not send her a card, she doesn't deserve a card from you, do not show weakness, if you do nothing, dont call, send letters, etc. this will do more than sending something, trust me, my ex was so mean to me about leaving for someone else, telling me how much better she was, and how i was going to be a lone, and never wanted to talk to me again and just really really mean things... well its been 49 days since i last talked to him and i am sooo much better, and guess what.. the guy who hated me 49 days ago called me last week... and i didnt answer ... trust me, doing nothing does more!! Focus on yourself, make yourself happy without her... I'm going and getting a massage, even going to a valentine's day event.. ive been hanging out with someone else.. never thought this would EVER be possible... and when i was busy doing things that made me happy, going to football games, going out with my friends, meeting new people, my ex decides to call me, y did he call me,, i have no clue, but i hope he is realizing he lost in this whole situation, he lost something really good that he had... the grass wasnt greener and i wasn't as weak as he thought.. i know he thought id still be there sad and waiting for him... and so did I ... but im not ... so please dont send her anything The thing is I still have a lot of feeling for this girl and really want a second chance for us. Furthermore, I will be out of country in next month, for at least 5 months. Should I send her a card on V-day, tell her how I feel and then disappear ?
USMCHokie Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 The thing is I still have a lot of feeling for this girl and really want a second chance for us. Furthermore, I will be out of country in next month, for at least 5 months. Should I send her a card on V-day, tell her how I feel and then disappear ? It doesn't matter how much feeling you have for her and how much you want a second chance...because that's all irrelevant...it's what SHE wants at this point...and it doesn't look like she wants you...but if she does, it's up to her to come back to you and admit that she made a mistake and only wants to be with you... Do not send her a V-Day card. Do not tell her how you feel. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200. Just disappear.
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ms.ac Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 The thing is I still have a lot of feeling for this girl and really want a second chance for us. Furthermore, I will be out of country in next month, for at least 5 months. Should I send her a card on V-day, tell her how I feel and then disappear ? i still don't think you should. You need to wait... keep no contact. I know you have a lot of feelings for her.. i still love my ex with all my heart... but at this point your just showing weakness... and weakness is not attractive... she is selfish... she doesnt deserve all of this attention and all it will do is push her further away and boost her ego...
Author bluesky999 Posted February 10, 2010 Author Posted February 10, 2010 i still don't think you should. You need to wait... keep no contact. I know you have a lot of feelings for her.. i still love my ex with all my heart... but at this point your just showing weakness... and weakness is not attractive... she is selfish... she doesnt deserve all of this attention and all it will do is push her further away and boost her ego... But if I don't say anything before I go, then she may think I have no more feeling for her and eventually she will forget me which is not what I want....As I said, I really want a second chance with this girl and kick the other guy out of our lives...
USMCHokie Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 But if I don't say anything before I go, then she may think I have no more feeling for her and eventually she will forget me which is not what I want....As I said, I really want a second chance with this girl and kick the other guy out of our lives... There is no "our lives" anymore...and you know what, she knows how you feel...you don't need to remind her of it...and unfortunately, no matter how much you feel for her, it's not enough in her mind, and no further reminders of your feelings will change that... Just go...don't say anything...let her live her life, and you live your life...
Author bluesky999 Posted February 10, 2010 Author Posted February 10, 2010 There is no "our lives" anymore...and you know what, she knows how you feel...you don't need to remind her of it...and unfortunately, no matter how much you feel for her, it's not enough in her mind, and no further reminders of your feelings will change that... Just go...don't say anything...let her live her life, and you live your life... Thanks for the advice. No V-card for her on that day then. Man, I hate her for hurting me so bad, but love and miss her so much at the same time.... This kind of feeling is just horrible....
EYECANDY000 Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 bluesky I just want to say that I feel your pain. I am currently going through a break up myself, and I know that it hurts like hell. I cry in the car, I cry on the train, I cry at work, I cry home. I am trying so hard not to contact him for any reason. and so far it has been day 1. You have to find something/someone that will make you a stronger person. One of my friends told me to repeat a "saying" everytime i start to feel weak and vulnerable. and I do. As much as it hurts, and as much as you want to be back with her I wouldnt reccommend second chances. it will never be the same! dont send her the V card. she is already with someone and Im sure she wont put a second thought into your card. be strong, and take care of yourself
USMCHokie Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 Thanks for the advice. No V-card for her on that day then. Man, I hate her for hurting me so bad, but love and miss her so much at the same time.... This kind of feeling is just horrible.... Yep, the feeling is pretty sh*tty...but I'd say it's better to feel sh*tty for just a little while rather than feel sh*tty for a long time while you're still in contact with her and trying to be her friend...not my idea of a good time...stick with what you've been doing...it gets better and easier...
ms.ac Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 But if I don't say anything before I go, then she may think I have no more feeling for her and eventually she will forget me which is not what I want....As I said, I really want a second chance with this girl and kick the other guy out of our lives... This won't happen... I know it feels like she will forget you. I felt the same way. you don't just forget someone. Usually it works opposite, she will wonder why you are not calling, why you don't care and if you do let her know how you feel (which she already knows) she will just know that you are not going anywhere and continue to take you for granted. If you really want to be with her, even though she doesn't deserve it, the only chance to get her to realize what she has done is by showing you are stronger and do not contact her... you are not alone.. i had the same exact thoughts..in the same position as you.. if i dont call he will forget about me, I love him so much I dont want to lose him... I was so mad at him for hurting me, but I loved and missed him too.. i still do... I completely understand where you are coming from... it is the worst feeling... it will get better...
skydiveaddict Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 (edited) bluesky: Hokie is right. Don't contact her in any way. It's gonna make you hurt longer. A V-day card would be a bad idea. This is the sort of thing we all go through in life. I'm going through right now too. A few other things to do: take her number off you cell. erase her e-mail address. Get rid of any pics/other things that remind you of her. If she has a fb page, dont look at it for ANY reason. If she calls, dont answer. if she texts, dont replay. same for e-mail, delete it. Edited February 10, 2010 by skydiveaddict
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