I feel absolutely lifeless.

[nes9]

My favorite food is chinese, yet I could only stomach two bites of it before I lost my appetite. I love watching sports yet I could care less about watching a game right now. I love to go the gym yet I can't even begin to muster a tenth of the motivation to get up and go. I can't fall asleep at night and I'll wake up early in the mornings unable to go back to sleep, forcing me to go through the day tired as hell. This breakup has literally sucked the life out of me as she is the only thing I can think about. I know its absurd to think like this being 23 years old, but I can't shake the feeling of being alone forever and never finding another girl like her. Getting through this is so god damn hard.

[LostInLimbo]

Hey Nes,

its not absured, its human nature, its stages you go through, how long have you been broken up? sorry I never read any of your posts, as for you being 23, your still young, don't give up yet, it will all come back in place, TRUST ME! read my posts, I have had the same person split from me, several times, same old routine, its something you just go through...

 

LiL

[nes9]

Hey Nes,

its not absured, its human nature, its stages you go through, how long have you been broken up? sorry I never read any of your posts, as for you being 23, your still young, don't give up yet, it will all come back in place, TRUST ME! read my posts, I have had the same person split from me, several times, same old routine, its something you just go through...

 

LiL

 

She broke up with me on Friday. So far, some times have been worse than others. I woke up today feeling absolutely suffocated by this though, and it hasn't really gone away.

[LostInLimbo]

Its been a short time, and you have a long road to go (you will get there), its gonna be hard and you have come to the right place, KEEP ACTIVE, friends, and such, I went for walks, there is something on here called, so you want a second chance, written by CaliGuy,its great advice..

 

Hang in there, you will need to take some time to heal and it will believe it or not all fall back into place. this will be hard, but TRY and stay NC to LC.

 

Read ppls post on here and advice, you will sort it out for what best suits you

 

LiL

 

Here is the Guide to a Second Chance

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t84894/

Edited February 8, 2010 by LostInLimbo

[nes9]

Its been a short time, and you have a long road to go (you will get there), its gonna be hard and you have come to the right place, KEEP ACTIVE, friends, and such, I went for walks, there is something on here called, so you want a second chance, written by CaliGuy,its great advice..

 

Hang in there, you will need to take some time to heal and it will believe it or not all fall back into place. this will be hard, but TRY and stay NC to LC.

 

Read ppls post on here and advice, you will sort it out for what best suits you

 

LiL

 

Here is the Guide to a Second Chance

 

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t84894/

 

I actually read that guide a while back when I was on here. I've already accepted I'm not getting a second chance and I know our relationship has ended and its FINAL. My second chance was when we started dating and now its done. Definitely utilizing NC. I'm not too familiar with this site and don't know how to sort through people's old posts to see everything they've written. Are you currently going through a breakup or do you currently have a girlfriend after going through a bad breakup? Also how old are you, just curious. Knowing people are in the same shoes or have been in the same shoes as me does provide some degree of comfort.

[LostInLimbo]

Hey Nes,

Im 40, went through the BS several times with the same person, went back several times, there were 2 kids involved, I did start seeing someone last break up, but left her aand went back again, down the same road again, seeing the same girl, (suprised she took me back) but this time, I ain't leaving her for another chance at someone who treated me like crap..

 

If you wanna read old posts, I think you just click on the users name and look at there Threads Started..

 

LiL

 

P.S.

I need to ask why you believe its final?

[nes9]

Hey Nes,

Im 40, went through the BS several times with the same person, went back several times, there were 2 kids involved, I did start seeing someone last break up, but left her aand went back again, down the same road again, seeing the same girl, (suprised she took me back) but this time, I ain't leaving her for another chance at someone who treated me like crap..

 

If you wanna read old posts, I think you just click on the users name and look at there Threads Started..

 

LiL

 

P.S.

I need to ask why you believe its final?

 

I hope the road your on now works out well for you. Sounds like you have some pretty tough times under your belt. I think its final because her and I have been pretty much best friends for the past 2.5 years. Since I met her, I had always been attracted to her and wanted her as a girlfriend, but at first she only wanted to be my friend. A little more than a year after meeting her and becoming extremely close, I had almost accepted we would only be friends. I started to realize I had already wasted too much time hoping she would grow to like me so I started looking elsewhere. Strangely enough, she had apparently liked me for about 4 months before this but was too scared to tell me, even though I had expressed my feelings to her previously! We started dating and 3 weeks in, I got drunk and was mean to her one night (stupid I know. and no its not a habit of mine it was a one time event). She questioned whether she had made the right choice dating me and decided she needed to break it off with me to "think about what she wants." Three months later, she came back from a summer of working out west. I was ALMOST over her but I couldn't help the desire for a second chance, knowing the relationship had ended so abruptly because of my mistake. When she returned home, we hung out and she wanted me back. Since I hadn't gotten completely over, I could not resist and was so excited for my second chance. Things went well all the way until about a month ago. She grew distant and finally told me this past Friday she didn't want to be with me. It was hard this time because I couldn't chalk it up to a mistake of mine, or hers, or any isolated event(s). She simply lost her feelings for me that she had when she returned home after a summer of work. Who knows what the future holds I guess, but right now I think its healthiest for me to go ahead assuming my second chance has passed and that my relationship with her is final.

[duece22022]

hey nes, im 23 also. I know the feeling and your pain right now. Its hard to enjoy things that you use to. everyday is a battle right now. Im not going to lie to you. you will think about her a lot and probably all the time in the begining. Actively try to distract yourself.. Its normal to feel different emotions.. you will have good days and very bad days. I am about 2 months post breakup and i wake up evey morning and i think to myself "i need to make this a good day" and i try to by not thinking about her. Make sure you stay NC. i know you say u will, but a lot of people slip up. That will only set you back. Ask anyone on this site.

[LostInLimbo]

Hey Nes,

Definetly move on like there is no other chance, that helps you heal, so if for some reason she does want to work things out with you, its a bonus to you, PLS PLS don't get stuck into or sucked into something I got sucked into...

 

Your still young, you have LOTS of time to heal and meet someone who truely loves you and wants to be with you...

 

 

LiL

[nes9]

hey nes, im 23 also. I know the feeling and your pain right now. Its hard to enjoy things that you use to. everyday is a battle right now. Im not going to lie to you. you will think about her a lot and probably all the time in the begining. Actively try to distract yourself.. Its normal to feel different emotions.. you will have good days and very bad days. I am about 2 months post breakup and i wake up evey morning and i think to myself "i need to make this a good day" and i try to by not thinking about her. Make sure you stay NC. i know you say u will, but a lot of people slip up. That will only set you back. Ask anyone on this site.

 

 

Thanks for the advice man. Break ups are never easy but being one year removed from college is an added stress. I am unsure of my career path and my social network is so much smaller than when I was an undergrad on a huge campus. Its so discouraging thinking about trying to meet girls in the future. You feeling the same way?

[duece22022]

I too went to large University. I have a job now but most of my friends live in other towns. If you were like me i was mostly all about my ex so i didn't make many friends where i currently live. It is though but you have to get out there and meet knew people. it will help. Make sure you go out every weekend and do stuff that you normally would say no to. Its not as hard to meet and flirt with new girls as you think. You just have to try. Im sure you didn't have much trouble flirting in highschool. you have the instincts in you. use them. Something good will happen to you soon and that will cheer you up a little. I actually hooked up with a girl and it made me feel like i was wanted again. I felt so rejected and humiliated for awhile and this helped me see that i am a good guy and my life isn't over. It has to turn around. you can't get any worse right?

[jen_r]

Ugh, I feel you. I tried to hang out with my friend last night for the superbowl, and left as soon as the game started. I can't even be around people right now. NOTHING makes me happy. And my bf (refuse to say ex) is on my mind constantly. It's furiating, depressing, and stressful. I can honestly tell you, I hate my life right now. And I hate feeling that way, its pathetic.

[nes9]

Ugh, I feel you. I tried to hang out with my friend last night for the superbowl, and left as soon as the game started. I can't even be around people right now. NOTHING makes me happy. And my bf (refuse to say ex) is on my mind constantly. It's furiating, depressing, and stressful. I can honestly tell you, I hate my life right now. And I hate feeling that way, its pathetic.

 

 

Yep. I am having a tough time enjoying anything. The best thing for me so far has been talking to my brother (gf of 3+ yrs. broke up with him a few months back), my sister who has been through it before and my 3 closest friends who have all been where I am now. The more I talk it out with the people closest to me and get their feedback/support.... the more it helps me realize my life isn't over, even though I certainly feel like it is now.

[jen_r]

Yep. I am having a tough time enjoying anything. The best thing for me so far has been talking to my brother (gf of 3+ yrs. broke up with him a few months back), my sister who has been through it before and my 3 closest friends who have all been where I am now. The more I talk it out with the people closest to me and get their feedback/support.... the more it helps me realize my life isn't over, even though I certainly feel like it is now.

 

I try talking to people, none of my friends have ever had their heart broken before (which is why i came here looking for answers!). But anything anyone tells me, their opinions, go in one ear and out the other. Like, I KNOW i need to forget him, I KNOW i need to move on, I KNOW I need someone who loves me & treats me good - I just want that person to be him...

 

And I'm driving out to see him tonight, which is probably a HUGE mistake, but I can't stop myself. It's my apartment too, and I wanna go home! UGHH.

[duece22022]

Trust me i know how hard it is. She was your everything. Now you have to start making changes. Try to make things in you life enjoyable. My ex broke up with me right before christmas. It was the worst holidays ever. I could not even be around my family. I couldn't sit still and everything annoyed me or made me restless. You will get better at it and start having more self control. how long ago did you guys break up? (Nes, Jen r)

[jen_r]

how long ago did you guys break up? (Nes, Jen r)

 

My bf broke up with my the day b4 Xmas too, it was awful. My family all kept asking where he was, and I just wanted to tell everyone to STFU. One of my worst holidays as well.

 

We broke up last tuesday. This is the longest we've ever been broken up. :/

[nes9]

Trust me i know how hard it is. She was your everything. Now you have to start making changes. Try to make things in you life enjoyable. My ex broke up with me right before christmas. It was the worst holidays ever. I could not even be around my family. I couldn't sit still and everything annoyed me or made me restless. You will get better at it and start having more self control. how long ago did you guys break up? (Nes, Jen r)

 

Friday night. Then she came over yesterday to get some stuff she had in my apartment. The goodbye after she came over yesterday was gut wrenching. It literally ripped my heart out when she hugged me and then walked out the door.

[jen_r]

Ahh mine sounds confusing, obvs we got back together after XMas, and he just broke it off last Tues - for good.

Edited February 8, 2010 by jen_r
Spelling

[nes9]

Ahh mine sounds confusing, obvs we got back together after XMas, and he just broke it off last Tues - for good.

 

 

Yeah going to see him tonight is a bad idea. I definitely advise against it. Try to build the willpower to just pass on it. I know its hard but think of what it'll do. If you guys meet up, you'll just leave feeling worse than you do now. He won't change his mind when you go over there. I should have told my ex that she couldn't come pick up her stuff yesterday. It just made me feel so much worse and she didn't change her mind about us.

[jen_r]

Yeah going to see him tonight is a bad idea. I definitely advise against it. Try to build the willpower to just pass on it. I know its hard but think of what it'll do. If you guys meet up, you'll just leave feeling worse than you do now. He won't change his mind when you go over there. I should have told my ex that she couldn't come pick up her stuff yesterday. It just made me feel so much worse and she didn't change her mind about us.

 

I know, I shouldn't go. But, I'm going to. And I'll be on here tomorrow regretting it and hating life. I guess I'm a glutten for punishment. I must like to torture myself...

[Green]

I remember being hit really hard when I was 22 and a relationship ended after college. I too was unsure of my career and felt like I would never get another girl. The fact is if you start going to the gym again, and doing the things you want and having a good time then you will get another girl. The older I get the better I do with women. I currently have a gf and things are going pretty good so just relize that alot of people have been where you are and time slowly makes it better if you can hang in there and just try to enjoy life.

[thepulse27]

To the two of you young ones (I'm only 25 so don't get to say that too often), don't beat yourselves up. It's still so soon after the breakup that nothing you do is going to take this feeling away, it's horrible and I'm so sorry. But don't block it out, let everything inside you out. Cry, reminisce, look at old photos, let yourself grieve. It's cathartic and will let you move on when your ready.

 

Just make sure that when you finally do have a moment when the world isn't s**t that you grasp it. That's when you start doing all those things you loved, play sport, get in touch with friends and chill. Start doing new things and, when it feels right, flirt. All those things will start to feel good again, and even though she (or he) will still be on your mind, they won't be running your life anymore.

 

So let yourself lose control while the pain is still fresh, it's pointless to try and stop it, and you'll be ready to take control back soon.

 

I'm only two months in, so that's as much as I can tell you. But I promise it does get better. (slowly).

[jen_r]

To the two of you young ones (I'm only 25 so don't get to say that too often)

 

 

 

So let yourself lose control while the pain is still fresh, it's pointless to try and stop it, and you'll be ready to take control back soon.

 

I'm only two months in, so that's as much as I can tell you. But I promise it does get better. (slowly).

 

Lol, if you are referring to me, I'm 25 as well. I'm taking this like a high school girl huh? haha.

[thepulse27]

I wouldn't worry, I don't think anyone handles the first week of being broken hearted with a great deal of grace! Just be careful your not still torturing yourself like this in a few months time. We have to let go sometime (i haven't managed it yet, but I'm getting there).