Author Lakeside_runner Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 don't wanna be the "too much coffee guy" Damn it! That's me... I even have an Espresso Machine in my office... Change your venue. Use more social stomping grounds and you'll have great success! Suggestions?
skydiveaddict Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 But... when I'm in a coffee shop and there is this cute girl that I'd be interested in, what goes through my head is: "If you walk up to her and start chatting - she's going to be like - Leave me alone you creep!" Why is that? Leave your fears behind and pull the trigger.
You'reasian Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Damn it! That's me... I even have an Espresso Machine in my office...Suggestions? You said you do marathons, triathlons and aikido - find women in those areas and get to know 'em. Hang out with them outside of practice if possible, take them out to eat afterwards since they'll be hungry anyways. Talk to 'em. Make sure that you leave them glowing and on a positive note at the end. Repeat.
USMCHokie Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Wow... I am looking in a mirror. I'm working for my PhD in Kinesiology (Carbohydrate Metabolism w/ respects to Type II Diabetes)... very active (certified personal trainer and dedicated gym rat ie 6'1" 190 lbs w/ a 9%bf). I'm told over and over I'm an amazing guy and very handsome/attractive. A really, really hot female friend of mine told me that if I weren't the way I was physically.. she probably wouldn't hang out with me. Really helps my ego (after my recent catastrophic breakup).. she is a charming girl, still Thank you, Rob...for reminding all of us lowly peasants how f*cking awesome you are...
USMCHokie Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Oh, and it's not a confidence question - I'm confident around girls whom I wouldn't potentially date. This is the key. You have to treat every girl you talk to not as a potential date, but just any other person. You're just having a casual conversation with them. You shouldn't approach them trying to score a phone number or a date...that will make it awkward for you and create an expectation in your mind...and if you don't get that number, you will feel like you "failed"... I know it'd feel awkward to just randomly walk up to a girl and start chatting...the key is to find some common topic that you can start a conversation over...it can be ANYTHING...and it will get you more comfortable talking to women in a casual manner, and when you are more comfortable, you'll be more confident...women will pick up on that and see you in a better light than the random "creeper guy" that just starts babbling about nothing... I often use this example on LS to illustrate a random conversation I've had with a woman while out and about... This past Halloween, I waited until 4 pm on Halloween Day to buy a costume...so I was standing in line with about 100 other people waiting to grab a costume...there was a girl standing behind me...so I just made a comment about how it sucked that we waited until the last minute and how bad the lines were...then we started chatting about which costumes we were going to pick, and what we were doing for Halloween...then it just flowed from one random topic to another...it was casual and comfortable, and we talked for about 20 minutes while standing in line...when we got our costumes, we said bye and went about our business... It can be something as simple as that...I had no intentions of trying to get a number or a date from her...it was just simple conversation with another person...and the great thing is that the numbers and dates will eventually come naturally from these simple conversations...
bananaboat11 Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Thank you, Rob...for reminding all of us lowly peasants how f*cking awesome you are... I love you
Satisfaction Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 My $0.02: It's fear of rejection due to lack of practice and conditioning. When you first started running, could you even finish the 42km? Probably not. You had to work hard to get yourself to where you are now. And now that marathon isn't so tough is it? Point is, you have to practice approaching women to get over your fear of it. Start with just random women, ones you're not even interested in romantically, and work your way up to women whom you are interested in. I know easier said than done, but hey, I'm the one saying it. So well put
bananaboat11 Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 So well put I'm going to keep tabs of how many slaps across the face I get... I should video record this.
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