kennypowers Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Okay so my girlfriend has recently asked me for space to think about things. We have been dating for 13 months, I am 23 and she is 22. I never saw this coming, we were always so happy and grateful to have eachother. She has told me before that she's never felt this way about anyone before and that she'll always love me and that she's sure there's nobody out there for her like me. I also feel the same way about her. She told me about a week ago that she needs space or a break because she hasn't had the same feelings for me in the past month, she's not sure if she sees herself marrying me, although she did feel i was that person for most of our time together. She also says she wants to be single during her last semester at school and enjoy herslef. She says she still loves me, and she has absolutely no desire to hook up with anyone else. I will admit i have been dependant on her the past month or so and i don't really know why. When she told me she wanted space/break, i panicked and made all the typical mistakes, texted her asking why even tho she didn't know, trying to get her to talk to me, telling her i'd do anything to be with her. She told me to think of it as time apart and to stop thinking so long term. After a couple days i told her we didnt have to talk and she could have her space to concentrate on school or her friends or think about us or whatever because i love her and that i know love will bring her back to me, at least i am hoping. Its been a week since ive texted her or talked to her, and valentines day is coming up. I wanted to go maybe a month without texting her and see if shed contact me but i dunno if maybe i should contact her sometime this week and ask her if she wanted to go out for vday...
LostInLimbo Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 She asked for space, I know its hard, but Vday counts for space as well, if your feelings are high, send a card or txt, but thats it....you may end up doing more damage if you pursue her.... Good Luck LiL
GrayClouds Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 It most likely over, and even more likely she has her eyes on someone else. Teh best thing you can do si go complete NC and focus on yourself. Anything else lets her have her cake and eat it too, allow you to be here safety date if she does not find anything better, and most importantly leave in in limbo to delay your healing. Read and do ALL of the following: So you want a second chance? Good Luck
LostInLimbo Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 It most likely over, and even more likely she has her eyes on someone else. Teh best thing you can do si go complete NC and focus on yourself. Anything else lets her have her cake and eat it too, allow you to be here safety date if she does not find anything better, and most importantly leave in in limbo to delay your healing. Read and do ALL of the following: So you want a second chance? Good Luck Great Advice GC, I just didn't want to be so blunt, and like to leave that window open for chance.. Also, "So You want a second chance" has got great points....I actually joked with CaliGuy and asked if he had one that was titled So You Want a 4th Chance....because that would have been for me to read... lol LiL
duece22022 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 bad idea to contact her before or on V-day. DONT do it. it will bring more pain. let her know you can be O.K. without her. Eventually you will be. But only time will tell. Fight the urge to contact her.
Ariadne Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Hi, It sounds like your girl is interested in someone else. You can give her her space and hope that nothing ever works out with the other guy. She probably doesn´t want to hear about your love right now.
USMCHokie Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Space = break up. If she really loved you like she says she does, then she would never need space or a break. She wouldn't ever have to explain how "she'll always love you" and how "there's no one else for her but you", etc... No one needs to "take a break from a relationship" just because of school. If that's truly an issue, then the girl has some serious issues of her own and you would be wise to stay away as it is... No contact is the way to go here. The only way to go. Don't allow her to toss you back in the pond and reel you in as she pleases...you deserve better than that.
Author kennypowers Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 i really do think she just needs space. i overcrowded her for a while and probably stressed her out. ive seen how much she loves me and what ive meant to her. she also told me this has nothing to do with another guy and i believe her.
Hop_prophet Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 She is lying to you to make you feel better. A break is just code talk for wanting to screw other guys. Just look at all the other threads here. Why would she suddenly need a break to focus on school in her last semester? Most people deny it at first but the truth will come out. Don't contact her whatsoever and stay away from FB, MSN, etc... Start seeing other women as soon as you are ready.
GrayClouds Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 i really do think she just needs space. i overcrowded her for a while and probably stressed her out. ive seen how much she loves me and what ive meant to her. she also told me this has nothing to do with another guy and i believe her. She also told you that she does not want to be with you but your having a hard time believing that. 98 out of a 100 it is another, you may be the 2%. And if your right, can't you see your still behaving in the same way...your focus is still on her not you. Sorry man it is time to care for yourself, focus on yourself. Go NC
Author kennypowers Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 i feel like if it was over shed just say its over not i need space. i heard from her yesterday she said shes doing well and keeping busy and that shell talk to me soon. she also said not to be afraid to check in sometimes because its good to hear from me.
Hop_prophet Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 i feel like if it was over shed just say its over not i need space. No, because she wants to keep you as a backup in case things don't work out with her new "Friends". Then she can come crawling back to you until she gets bored again. That is what a break is all about. This woman is toxic for you. Why be with someone if they don't want to be with you? Try to distance yourself and let her go. I know its really difficult.
USMCHokie Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 i feel like if it was over shed just say its over not i need space. i heard from her yesterday she said shes doing well and keeping busy and that shell talk to me soon. she also said not to be afraid to check in sometimes because its good to hear from me. She doesn't need to say it with words...she has said it with her actions... No contact begins now, my friend...don't answer her calls unless they contain something about her making a huge mistake for leaving and being willing to do anything to make the relationship work again... Don't "check in"...EVER...if she wants to hear from you, she shouldn't have left you...
TroyNJ Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Dude, your relationship is toast. Try to move on.
GrayClouds Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 i feel like if it was over shed just say its over not i need space. i heard from her yesterday she said shes doing well and keeping busy and that shell talk to me soon. she also said not to be afraid to check in sometimes because its good to hear from me. Right now you can not trust your feelings as USMC said trust her action and her action are pushing you away. Your hanging on to hope and hope is a rusty barb wire fence keeping you stuck.
skydiveaddict Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 I 'm sorry to tell you this, but I'll bet you've just entered the deadly "friend zone" I will predict the next time she contacts you, you will get the "I think we should just be friends for now, but I really do still love you'' speech.
USMCHokie Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 I 'm sorry to tell you this, but I'll bet you've just entered the deadly "friend zone" I will predict the next time she contacts you, you will get the "I think we should just be friends for now, but I really do still love you'' speech. That's why he won't be answering the next time she contacts him.
WTRanger Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 As Kenny Powers always said, "You're f*cking out!" That is what she's saying to you and if it seems blunt, then it must be. Your heart won't let you believe otherwise, but you've got to listen to the others posting the advice. Put this through the Brad Pitt test. If she were dating him, would she say everything about space to him that she said to you?
skydiveaddict Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 (edited) That's why he won't be answering the next time she contacts him. Very good point Hokie I agree NC is the way to go Edited February 9, 2010 by skydiveaddict
GrayClouds Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 A Put this through the Brad Pitt test. If she were dating him, would she say everything about space to him that she said to you? Absolute genius WTRanger, boy am I going to steal that and take 100% credit for it, absolute genius.
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