octopus Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 I was curious as to what your opinions are. Which is worse, being in an unhappy marriage/LTR or being unhappy single? Obviously in both instances the individual is unhappy, however, in which one is it easier to crawl out of the doldrums and become happy with your life again? Which circumstance would you choose? Link to post Share on other sites
viennawaits Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 (edited) I have made a mess of my marriage, but I was also unhappily married for a long time. I haven't been unhappily single in quite a while. I have to say, given all that is going on, I'd have to choose to try unhappily single for a while. At least that way I wouldn't be hurting anyone any more. Edited February 8, 2010 by viennawaits Link to post Share on other sites
grogster Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 Being unhappily single is much better than being "entombed" in a dead, cold coffin of a marriage. Being single, one can sleep alone as opposed to pretending intimacy with a spouse for whom all feeling has died. Conversely, being happily married is superior to being a happy single. There's a multiplier effect in marriage whether happy or sad. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 Depends. Unhappily single may mean that you still have a hope of being happily married IF you meet the right person. However, knowing many single people over the age of 30, then if they are unhappily single, it is because they have no hope of getting married. If there is the hope that the single status might change, then it is better than being in a marriage that will never change. Unhappily married can mean that there is no hope of change or it can mean there is still hope for improvement. If there is hope for improvement, then by all means being unhappily married with the one you love is much better than being unhappily single with no hope of finding anyone. However, if every day one comes home to an unhappy marriage and he or she wishes that it were someone else in that home, then for that person being unhappily single sounds so much better. Being unhappily single with no hope of change would be better than being unhappily married with no hope of change. Being unhappily married with the one you love and with a hope for change is much better than being unhappily single with no one to love even if there is the possibility of finding the one you love. Just MO. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 There is simply nothing worse in the universe than an unhappy marriage. The worst case of abject loneliness is not nearly as bad as a bad marriage. PERIOD! Link to post Share on other sites
Confused4Now Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 I have made a mess of my marriage, but I was also unhappily married for a long time. I haven't been unhappily single in quite a while. I have to say, given all that is going on, I'd have to choose to try unhappily single for a while. At least that way I wouldn't be hurting anyone any more. I'm with you on this one.....at least I'm not hurting anyone being by myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 If you are unhappy then you are unhappy. Seriosly though if you are unhappily single and have no ability to connect that might be your situation for life. If you are unhappily married at a minimum you could get a divorce or try to change something in the marriage. But what I origionally said is true, unhappy is unhappy. I wonder if sucide rates are higher for single people, I mean I know people kill themselves after being dumped.... so they would technicaly be an unhappy single person. Link to post Share on other sites
cuppa Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 If you are unhappily single, you are accountable for yourself and you can change and try to be happy for yourself. If you are unhappily married, you are accountable for yourself and your spouse so some things go beyond your control. Unhappily married is a relative term like in my situation, I am unhappy for certain things but there are certaint times when I feel happy & loved. If it's perpetually unhappy (like 24/7, 7 days a week) then I think being unhappily single is the answer. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 Which is worse, being in an unhappy marriage/LTR or being unhappy single? the former is much worse Link to post Share on other sites
deux ex machina Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 Knowing you're alone, yet with someone is soul-crushing. Nothing worse than knowing that even if you tried to reach their hand, there is no use - there is nothing there, and nothing can be done to help it. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 I THINK I would choose unhappily single.. because at least, there is hope.. and you can work towards correcting the situation. the only 'good' part I can see about being unhappily married.. is that, financially, it could be easier.. that's about the only positive point though. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 I THINK I would choose unhappily single.. because at least, there is hope.. and you can work towards correcting the situation. indeed L60, indeed Link to post Share on other sites
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